Scan barcode
allisonseverson's review against another edition
4.0
Main premise...If your toddler/preschooler isn’t harming themselves, others, or property... let them be! The author discusses, among other topics, the negative effects of not enough unstructured play time and the positive impact of allowing children to resolve conflict among themselves.
elinacre's review against another edition
4.0
reassuring and also anxiety-inducing, for me 😵
so much of this book i agree with -- strangers aren't all bad; fostering independence is important (and scary); i don't need to always play with or entertain my kids.
some things went too far for me -- teaching young kids about the days of the week and time aren't important? writing a letter or talking to the teacher about "opting out" of homework? noperdoodles. although, i think my kiddos are fortunate to have had wonderful teachers so far who believe in play-based learning, and i have no issues with the tiny bit of homework they've received. reading at least 4 days a week as a family? we do that anyway. some interesting food for thought, some reassurance that we're doing some stuff right, and some yikes moments (kids under 4 should have NO screen time? welp, my daughter is COMPLETELY ruined...)
loved the format, with lists of words and phrases to use and to avoid!
so much of this book i agree with -- strangers aren't all bad; fostering independence is important (and scary); i don't need to always play with or entertain my kids.
some things went too far for me -- teaching young kids about the days of the week and time aren't important? writing a letter or talking to the teacher about "opting out" of homework? noperdoodles. although, i think my kiddos are fortunate to have had wonderful teachers so far who believe in play-based learning, and i have no issues with the tiny bit of homework they've received. reading at least 4 days a week as a family? we do that anyway. some interesting food for thought, some reassurance that we're doing some stuff right, and some yikes moments (kids under 4 should have NO screen time? welp, my daughter is COMPLETELY ruined...)
loved the format, with lists of words and phrases to use and to avoid!
urbanaudreye's review against another edition
Another book of excellent additions to your parenting toolbox. Learn why recess is so important, and homework is not!
cnorbury's review against another edition
5.0
Another outstanding book, both from a content standpoint and a technical standpoint. Chapter after chapter of brilliant but common-sense ideas on how parents (and teachers too) can reclaim some sanity in their lives by changing the way they think about raising (teaching) their children.
The format is logical and proceeds incrementally, with many chapters building on previous chapters. Especially important are the chapters on cell phones, homework, recess, and free play for children as opposed to adult-organized and attended play time. Well organized, easy to read, and told in a concise style that won't waste a reader's time.
Highest recommendation.
The format is logical and proceeds incrementally, with many chapters building on previous chapters. Especially important are the chapters on cell phones, homework, recess, and free play for children as opposed to adult-organized and attended play time. Well organized, easy to read, and told in a concise style that won't waste a reader's time.
Highest recommendation.
witchofthemountains's review
4.0
This is another book that reminds you to treat your kids like people, a concept that Shumaker backs up with specific advice about topics that baffle many parents: what to do when you don't agree with the amount of homework your elementary-aged child has. How to deal with the Pink Princess overload most young girls get foisted on them - and the aggression some boys can hit when they want to find out why princesses are so popular with girls. Tragedy at home and in the news, tough topics and the ways to deal with them at varying ages.
Shumaker touches on all of these.
Her golden rule is "If it's not hurting anyone, it's OK" and hurting can mean physical or emotional, disrupting the group or causing someone else to be anxious. It's a good rule to live by and I for one love the way Shumaker gives options to help deal with things from multiple perspectives. The best example is her section on bullying: Shumaker reminds us that young children who bully are not inherently bad people. There is a reason they are doing what they're doing. As an adult it is up to us to figure out the why, and then help everyone involved regain their personal power by teaching them better conflict resolution and modeling compassion. If someone had pulled out that advice when I was in school, I think my own experiences with bullying wouldn't have been nearly as bad.
Shumaker stresses the importance of teaching compassion and conflict resolution, reminding the reader in many chapters that children learn by watching the adults around them as well as being told things in very specific words, not general phrases such as "play nice" and "we're all the same" and "be fair". She reminds us that we must explain many of the concepts we take for granted when we are speaking to children because they have yet to learn them. These are good reminders to have and, for someone like me who grew up an only child and did not have a properly communicative family, this is somewhat new information.
You're already reading parenting books, which means you want to change the way you do things. You might be looking for practices rooted in science, studies, and a little more common sense than the age-old "that's how we've always done it". You're already a renegade. Check out what Shumaker has to say. I'm glad I did.
Shumaker touches on all of these.
Her golden rule is "If it's not hurting anyone, it's OK" and hurting can mean physical or emotional, disrupting the group or causing someone else to be anxious. It's a good rule to live by and I for one love the way Shumaker gives options to help deal with things from multiple perspectives. The best example is her section on bullying: Shumaker reminds us that young children who bully are not inherently bad people. There is a reason they are doing what they're doing. As an adult it is up to us to figure out the why, and then help everyone involved regain their personal power by teaching them better conflict resolution and modeling compassion. If someone had pulled out that advice when I was in school, I think my own experiences with bullying wouldn't have been nearly as bad.
Shumaker stresses the importance of teaching compassion and conflict resolution, reminding the reader in many chapters that children learn by watching the adults around them as well as being told things in very specific words, not general phrases such as "play nice" and "we're all the same" and "be fair". She reminds us that we must explain many of the concepts we take for granted when we are speaking to children because they have yet to learn them. These are good reminders to have and, for someone like me who grew up an only child and did not have a properly communicative family, this is somewhat new information.
You're already reading parenting books, which means you want to change the way you do things. You might be looking for practices rooted in science, studies, and a little more common sense than the age-old "that's how we've always done it". You're already a renegade. Check out what Shumaker has to say. I'm glad I did.
lauriebuchanan's review
5.0
An eye-opening read for parents, I wish Ms. Shumaker’s wisdom had been available in book form when I was raising my son.
If you enjoyed reading IT’S OK NOT TO SHARE, you’re going to love it’s equally liberating companion, IT’S OKAY TO GO UP THE SLIDE.
With actionable guidance, this watershed book will help your parenting style to thrive.
If you enjoyed reading IT’S OK NOT TO SHARE, you’re going to love it’s equally liberating companion, IT’S OKAY TO GO UP THE SLIDE.
With actionable guidance, this watershed book will help your parenting style to thrive.
zachkuhn's review
3.0
I skipped sections that weren't important to me. I have that right, like every child under the age of 10 has the right to come home after school and LEAVE SCHOOL AT SCHOOL. Shumaker's argument that homework is unnecessary and harmful before the age of 10 and not as effective as teachers think after that age is effectively defended with research and anecdotal evidence.
nezbots's review
2.0
read through a few chapters, but nothing mind-blowing. Mostly stuff I agree with but have read before.
More...