Reviews tagging 'Domestic abuse'

The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker

18 reviews

thatsssorachael's review against another edition

challenging dark informative sad slow-paced

2.0

I went into this book hoping to learn some new info about fear, intuition and how to protect myself as a woman. Instead I walked out with a tremendously bad taste in my mouth at the victim blaming specifically in the domestic violence chapter. Calling a victim of domestic violence a volunteer in the abuse because she didn’t leave is tone deaf, goes against all we know about DV and the power/control dynamics in an abusive relationship and doesn’t take into account the fact leaving a relationship takes a significant level of privilege. The main reasons someone does not leave are finances (especially as many abusers intentionally control the money), having nowhere to go or no one to turn to, and as complicated as it is, having children in the house makes it harder to leave even though we can all agree she SHOULD leave for them. It’s not as simple as De Becker wanted us to believe and as an expert in this field he should absolutely know that. 

The first 2 chapters were him advertising his firm. The entire book really came across as a humble brag, which is not why I wanted to read this book. The little bit of info I read about safety was mostly common sense and common knowledge. Since this book was written in 1997 and never updated, a lot of info was incorrect or irrelevant now. 

Not sure I’d recommend. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Violence, and Stalking

Moderate: Child abuse

quibiee's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Grief, Cannibalism, Stalking, Death of parent, Murder, and Sexual harassment

beebowbabe's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective fast-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gun violence, Violence, and Murder

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Rape, and Sexual assault

Minor: Animal cruelty, Animal death, and Mental illness

ms_gouldbourne's review against another edition

emotional informative tense medium-paced

5.0

This book should be required reading for every human being alive - and no, I'm not going to say just women, although the safety information contained within is undoubtedly more relevant for women. I've read The Gift of Fear several times, and it shakes me to my core every single time. I will say that I find Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That a lot more informative and sympathetic specifically on the subject of domestic violence, but I'm not going to remove any stars for that because Gavin de Becker's exploration of intuition is simply unparalleled. A must-read!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gun violence

Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

thirteenlaurels's review against another edition

informative reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Mass/school shootings, Stalking, Car accident, Death of parent, Murder, and Sexual harassment

apriltee's review against another edition

informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, and Violence

turtlebones's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

4.5

i picked this book up b/c it was discussed during one of my ethics class and it was mentioned in a true crime podcast that i listen to. GdeB does a great job breaking down the different between worry/anxiety and true fear and using it to your advantage. He gives lots of great examples of cases that he has worked on and gives great tips to follow on determining and analyzing whether a situation one faces is worth fearing and relying on your gut instinct/intuition.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Death, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Murder, and Toxic friendship

faithaforman's review against another edition

dark informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

Quite informative, definitely attempts to teach the difference between fear and worry, how to understand what our bodies try to tell us, and ways to keep safe. Sadly there is a need for this type of guidance, and decades after it was written it's as relevant as ever.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Mental illness, Misogyny, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Stalking, Murder, and Sexual harassment

sidneypearson's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Violence, Mass/school shootings, Murder, and Sexual harassment

elizabethblue's review against another edition

challenging dark informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Domestic abuse and Violence

Minor: Sexual assault