judyward's review
3.0
I probably shouldn't have read this book about an alcoholic and emotional abusive mother during Mother's Day week. Kaylie Jones is the daughter of James Jones, the author of From Here to Eternity, who dies when she is 16 years old. It turns out that in their terrible relationship, one of the few things that Kaylie has in common with her mother, Gloria, is alcoholism. Kaylie comes to term with her alcoholism and wants her mother to stop drinking. Doesn't work. I think that this memoir would be most meaningful to other children of alcoholics.
annap5519's review
5.0
Gut wrenching. A child of privilege raised with every trapping of wealth by a loving, troubled father and an abusive alcoholic mother. The cruelty she endures at her mother's tongue is unspeakable. The daughter repeats the sins of the mother and becomes an abuser herself. A sad, crushing portrait of life with a chronic alcoholic who seemingly had everything but threw it all away and nearly destroyed her daughter.
amouranth's review
4.0
Personally I found the first third of this memoir to be slow, with moments of somewhat interesting, if generally emotionally vapid memories. But I think now that the first third is acceptable to set up the emotional knockout that constitutes the second two thirds. The latter really struck a chord with me. I cried more than a few times throughout my day-long reading, and no, I did not grow up around alcoholics. I think we all have our scars, though, many of which have been acquired through childhood. This memoir was very moving to me as someone who suffered through moments of scarring as a child, as well as as an aspiring novelist (reading her experiences with great novelists leaves me feeling envy and wonder. Even the negatives. As she implies, one can tend to think of authors as impeccable, extraordinary people and forget that being a flawed human is what allowed them to so precisely move us with their writing).
I especially appreciated not only Kaylie's attempt to understand her relationship with her mother (did she love me? Was I to blame for some of our issues?) but also her own struggles as a mother. Her own mistakes. Wanting to let her daughter have a relationship with her grandmother. Wanting to protect her daughter from the scarring she'd experienced, and to some extent, failing. This is so real; so tragically, humanly, accurate. I loved it. It made me feel a little better about my own childhood, relationships, and future. It's okay to be scared and confused and hurt. It's not okay to freeze up, quit, and passively let the offenses keep coming. A beautiful personal journey, very much worth sharing. I appreciated being offered a peek into her world.
I especially appreciated not only Kaylie's attempt to understand her relationship with her mother (did she love me? Was I to blame for some of our issues?) but also her own struggles as a mother. Her own mistakes. Wanting to let her daughter have a relationship with her grandmother. Wanting to protect her daughter from the scarring she'd experienced, and to some extent, failing. This is so real; so tragically, humanly, accurate. I loved it. It made me feel a little better about my own childhood, relationships, and future. It's okay to be scared and confused and hurt. It's not okay to freeze up, quit, and passively let the offenses keep coming. A beautiful personal journey, very much worth sharing. I appreciated being offered a peek into her world.
thepoemreeder's review
4.0
Kaylie's memoir is about the effects of her childhood amongst literary giants (her father James Jones and his friends & contemporaries) and the perpetual spiraling control her mother's influence had on her during her entire life. The tale traces the way alcohol colors most memories, either through Kaylie's own abuse and eventual recovery or through her mother's constant losing battle. She weaves the story of her life in a way that makes it easy to read and feel along with her, especially once she has her own daughter and can witness her mother's interactions with Eyrna to see what it looks like from an outside perspective while still having insider knowledge. The constant conflict of love, guilt, shame, and anger--all enhanced at different points by alcohol--drive through the heart of Kaylie's journey, until she finally learns to embrace these experiences and to let go of that which she could never control herself.
rmardel's review
4.0
Kaylie Jones memoir, Lies my Mother Never told Me left me stunned.
In fact, it took me a little while to warm up to the book and at one point I was wondering why I was reading as the early sections seemed to be in danger of becoming just another “child of celebrity” writing about the dark underbelly of life with famous drunks. It was not that it was badly written; Jones’ direct style and sometimes shockingly spare prose serves the material well. The book is often moving and is filled with moments of humor even in the midst of madness and despair.
But as the author slowly began to find her own self, her own voice, her own place in the world I became more and more wrapped up in the book. As Kaylie begins to learn and accept that she is first the child of an alcoholic, and as she moves from this discovery onto the discovery that she herself is an alcoholic, she also learns that so much of what she has always known in life is shaped by this terrible childhood, or even in some ways this lack of having a complete childhood. Ms. Jones is very good and delving into this aspect of her own awakening, explaining it and conveying it with a very real sense. Her relationship to her alcoholic mother may be textbook, but even textbook cases are painful and often not recognized by those who are living them. Kaylie Jones brings great humanity to her journey. The journey is brutal and the story seems to be told with unflinching honesty.
I think that although there is much here for any one who has grown up with an alcoholic parent, whatever the situation, this well-written, compellingly honest memoir also has much to offer any reader who is interested in trying to understand the difficulties faced by children of alcoholics, or in fact anyone whose childhood had profound impact on their ability to become their own “selves” in adulthood.
In fact, it took me a little while to warm up to the book and at one point I was wondering why I was reading as the early sections seemed to be in danger of becoming just another “child of celebrity” writing about the dark underbelly of life with famous drunks. It was not that it was badly written; Jones’ direct style and sometimes shockingly spare prose serves the material well. The book is often moving and is filled with moments of humor even in the midst of madness and despair.
But as the author slowly began to find her own self, her own voice, her own place in the world I became more and more wrapped up in the book. As Kaylie begins to learn and accept that she is first the child of an alcoholic, and as she moves from this discovery onto the discovery that she herself is an alcoholic, she also learns that so much of what she has always known in life is shaped by this terrible childhood, or even in some ways this lack of having a complete childhood. Ms. Jones is very good and delving into this aspect of her own awakening, explaining it and conveying it with a very real sense. Her relationship to her alcoholic mother may be textbook, but even textbook cases are painful and often not recognized by those who are living them. Kaylie Jones brings great humanity to her journey. The journey is brutal and the story seems to be told with unflinching honesty.
I think that although there is much here for any one who has grown up with an alcoholic parent, whatever the situation, this well-written, compellingly honest memoir also has much to offer any reader who is interested in trying to understand the difficulties faced by children of alcoholics, or in fact anyone whose childhood had profound impact on their ability to become their own “selves” in adulthood.
nonnie63's review
3.0
There was a nice antidote from William Faulkner - In one of his stories he had written about the wisteria that grew outside his home. A writing professor went on and on about how the wisteria represented the struggles and the family dynamics. Faulkner stated that he had wisteria growing on his house!
kanwar's review
4.0
Very Brief Summary - A daddy's girl grows up with a mother who thinks alcohol is the answer to everything.
Why Read - True story, eye opener about parents suffering from alcohol
Is that all? - While its difficult for me to say the correct things to make you read this book, I feel the honest relation of the author and the ability to create irony or describe it in such few words is worth beholding.
Overall - A solid book. A must - read for every curious mind.
When did I read it? Many years back on Amazon's Vine program.
Why Read - True story, eye opener about parents suffering from alcohol
Is that all? - While its difficult for me to say the correct things to make you read this book, I feel the honest relation of the author and the ability to create irony or describe it in such few words is worth beholding.
Overall - A solid book. A must - read for every curious mind.
When did I read it? Many years back on Amazon's Vine program.
le13anna's review
4.0
Shocking and savage and beautiful. The pull to please our parents is so strong as to be unbelievable.
executivespooky's review
4.0
Witty, elegantly written, and totally relatable. I had no prior knowledge of Kaylie and only superficial familiarity with her father, but by the end of the book, I felt like I personally knew them. I cheered during her triumphs and grieved through her loss. Excellent book.
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