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jaclyncrupi's review
5.0
This is without doubt the most powerful and moving installment of Garner’s diaries. Kicking off with the publication of The First Stone and ending with Bail’s publication of Eucalyptus, Garner writes of literary success, controversy and a marriage falling completely apart. You feel and see her struggling within her complicated marriage and trying to find room and space for herself, her very soul and of course her writing. I’ve read so many books that chronicle the breakdown of a marriage and this is one of the best. Her desire for truth, for honesty, for respect – for a literal room of one’s own. Murray Bail comes across as a gaslighting jerk and a terrible husband which I know from the previous installment but was well and truly brought home here. That he predicted back in the mid-90s that people like me would be reading these diaries and passing judgment on him shows his foresight; and his desire for Garner to stop writing about him in her diaries his narcissism. Knowing what comes next for Garner is some vindication for the time and love and energy wasted with Bail. This is also a beautiful portrait of Sydney. This is a book to treasure, to revisit. Thank all the literary gods for Helen Garner!
codosbankarena's review
4.0
Helen Garner’s writing is just purifying, gripping and brilliant, all the damn time. Her dedication and emotions are captured in such fascinating and gut wrenching detail, seeming to paint her life’s struggles with a mixture of jagged and gentle strokes. The ugly, the beautiful, and the gritty inbetweens. The interactions and the arguments, and the solemn silence that passes every now and then, breathing space.
evabails's review
4.0
This volume was incredible. Helens ex husband is a piece of work, having to experience the breakdown of their marriage through her eyes was upsetting and infuriating. A great read.
sodimode's review
5.0
The tea was scalding hot in this one, what with her crumbling relationship with a fragile male writer and her experiencing therapy for the first time. I love it inside her head, the way she experiences the world pulls me pleasurably into perspective on my own
essjay1's review
5.0
This was like being trapped behind a sound proof wall shouting “run!” … but also, full of admiration for her honesty. How many of us would have been tempted to gloss over the past, make ourselves look a bit better. This is a handbook for every time you thought you were right and someone convinced you that you were “imagining things” which is what we called gaslighting back in the 90’s.
nina_reads_books's review
4.0
How to End a Story: Diaries 1995 - 1998 was by far my favourite of Helen Garner’s three diaries. This final one was raw and emotional as she narrates the ending of her third marriage. The book was less scattered than the previous two which wandered around her life, her writing and relationships. This was a very intensely focussed look at how a relationship can falter and ultimately unravel.
The husband in this book is Australian author Murray Bail who was writing and published his book Eucalyptus during the time the diaries were recorded. I cannot imagine how he feels about Helen Garner publishing her diaries as he comes off spectacularly badly. He is sexist, selfish and rude. He pushed Garner out of their shared house during the day to allow him the space to write when in reality he did as much socialising as he did writing and in fact found the time to have an affair. His fixation with his own work to the exclusion of Garner’s was riddled with misogyny.
Hearing Garner’s inner dialogue about how she is feeling as she is minimised and gaslit by her supposedly loving husband was devastating and yet relatable to anyone who has been trapped in a drawn out breakup.
If you only pick up one of Garner’s diaries make it this one. As with the earlier two I listened to this on audio read by the author and I definitely recommend reading these via audio.
The husband in this book is Australian author Murray Bail who was writing and published his book Eucalyptus during the time the diaries were recorded. I cannot imagine how he feels about Helen Garner publishing her diaries as he comes off spectacularly badly. He is sexist, selfish and rude. He pushed Garner out of their shared house during the day to allow him the space to write when in reality he did as much socialising as he did writing and in fact found the time to have an affair. His fixation with his own work to the exclusion of Garner’s was riddled with misogyny.
Hearing Garner’s inner dialogue about how she is feeling as she is minimised and gaslit by her supposedly loving husband was devastating and yet relatable to anyone who has been trapped in a drawn out breakup.
If you only pick up one of Garner’s diaries make it this one. As with the earlier two I listened to this on audio read by the author and I definitely recommend reading these via audio.
needilup's review
4.0
At first the non dated diary entry style of writing was disjointed and unruly. But over time I really enjoyed the pieces coming together, her life unfolding.
***
About a third of the way in I'm beginning to have very strong feelings about V. What a detestable man. No meeting half way, it's all his way or the highway. I'm feeling very protective of Helen. Yes she has quirks, no one is perfect... but... he is so mean. I feel like he is gaslighting her.
***
V admires a pair of grotesquely high heels that Marilyn Monroe is wearing in a photo. I look at them and see two instruments of torture. He speaks at some length about how women who wear high heels are showing that they like men, that they're prepared to 'put up with a bit of discomfort to please a man. They are much more feminine than women who wear flat shoes or runners.
This is what Helen is up against. In my head I'm yelling at Helen, leave! Leave now! But she takes a far more communicative route, an adult route.
***
I used to respect you... But then you lied to me... you always told me she was just a friend... that I was a jealous person... you gaslighted me...
When I read that section I almost cheered out loud. Helen is the narrator and the protagonist, yet it feels like we are learning this together.
***
Anyway I really enjoyed this. Especially the final 2 paragraphs.
***
About a third of the way in I'm beginning to have very strong feelings about V. What a detestable man. No meeting half way, it's all his way or the highway. I'm feeling very protective of Helen. Yes she has quirks, no one is perfect... but... he is so mean. I feel like he is gaslighting her.
***
V admires a pair of grotesquely high heels that Marilyn Monroe is wearing in a photo. I look at them and see two instruments of torture. He speaks at some length about how women who wear high heels are showing that they like men, that they're prepared to 'put up with a bit of discomfort to please a man. They are much more feminine than women who wear flat shoes or runners.
This is what Helen is up against. In my head I'm yelling at Helen, leave! Leave now! But she takes a far more communicative route, an adult route.
***
I used to respect you... But then you lied to me... you always told me she was just a friend... that I was a jealous person... you gaslighted me...
When I read that section I almost cheered out loud. Helen is the narrator and the protagonist, yet it feels like we are learning this together.
***
Anyway I really enjoyed this. Especially the final 2 paragraphs.
polyphonicprairies's review
5.0
Reading Helen Garner always leaves me awestruck and a little envious. How can a diary, an actual day to day diary, become such a spellbinding memoir? From dispersed vignettes of her life comes an agonisingly relatable storm of confluences, so naturally that it felt inevitable. Bittersweet and captivating. And though the title has an ironic sting in the account she gives of this period of her life, on the page Garner really, REALLY knows how to end a story.