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subiyaaa_'s review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
4.5
abeeha1's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
fast-paced
5.0
I couldn't put the book down yet it took me a week to finish reading it because it made my hands tremble, gave me few panic attacks followed by nightmares. There is a serious trigger warning of narcissistic abuse.
As a Pakistani woman myself, I am so proud of her to come out with her story and write every single detail. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to publish the book in a memoir but this is all the story is about. Tehmina Durrani changing her whole personality as her life switches up and took a turn little girl in her never thought would have the ability to fight for.
Though protagonist isn't a saint herself in this memoir, she accepted her mistakes, prayed for forgiveness and realized all the that she went through might have been her karma to what she did to another woman.
The physical and emotional abuse mentioned is epitome of kind of abuse not only feudal lords but also general narcissistic men in Pakistan will make you go through if unfortunately you become one of their victims.
Ihope and pray more women come forward and speak their truth with this lioness energy
hinalovestoread's review against another edition
2.0
A humongous review will be put up on the blog soon.
Mental torture I'd call this book. I really want to kill Adila. Like seriously. I want to use abusive words for her but I'm curbing my tongue.
Khar and Tehmina had a colourful life no doubt. I agree with the fact she suffered and left no stone unturned to save her marriage but I can't bring myself to believe she did it for the kids. If she could leave one, she could leave these ones too. She did give them up eventually.
Khar ko tau I'd like to give a piece of my mind. I'm disgusted with him for the most part. But I see how he laid the charm thick. His words are his weapon that he knows how to yield. With the most effect.
Many points in the book didn't ring true however. The way she has described him I can't imagine the man going down on his knees and begging for anything.
After all is said and done, I'd still like to meet this man once in my life. I seriously want to know what his view is on this particular book. How long can he go on lying!
Mental torture I'd call this book. I really want to kill Adila. Like seriously. I want to use abusive words for her but I'm curbing my tongue.
Khar and Tehmina had a colourful life no doubt. I agree with the fact she suffered and left no stone unturned to save her marriage but I can't bring myself to believe she did it for the kids. If she could leave one, she could leave these ones too. She did give them up eventually.
Khar ko tau I'd like to give a piece of my mind. I'm disgusted with him for the most part. But I see how he laid the charm thick. His words are his weapon that he knows how to yield. With the most effect.
Many points in the book didn't ring true however. The way she has described him I can't imagine the man going down on his knees and begging for anything.
After all is said and done, I'd still like to meet this man once in my life. I seriously want to know what his view is on this particular book. How long can he go on lying!
nayabimtiaz's review against another edition
5.0
I need to post a detailed revieww. Will do probably after my mid terms!
_askthebookbug's review against another edition
3.0
• r e v i e w •
Sometimes you go in with a lot of expectations but come out with a disappointed heart. My Feudal Lord was exactly that. What intrigued me about it was the involvement of a powerful man, Ghulam Mustafa Khar who was once the Chief Minister and Governor of Punjab and was also Bhutto's dear friend. Tehmina exposes his temper, manipulative tactics, physical and mental abuse and his political journey (to a large extent) for the world to see and it truly frightened me to know that a person can carry such evilness inside him/her. What also pushed me to get a copy of this book was because of William Hoffer, who co-authored my absolute favourite book 'Not Without My Daughter'. Having such strong points, I imagined myself admiring this biography but by the end of it all, I remain confused.
Tehmina Durrani comes from an aristocratic yet dysfunctional family. With an unkind mother and an almost invisible father, she grew up being everyone's least favorite. When she married Anees, a decent young man, she was relieved to have escaped her family home but only to realise that she didn't love her husband. Khar's entry into her life only cemented the fact that he has been the one for her all along. Known as Lion of Punjab, Khar was a womanizer and a Feudal Lord, known for his fierce attitude. Against all warning, she becomes his fifth wife and troubles begin soon after. There's physical abuse followed by severe manipulation, where Khar easily pitted the family members against one another. She hasn't had an easy life but there were instances which were simply absurd for me to understand. It lacked genuineness and this was a concerning factor if found in biographies. There's a lot of politics involved in the book which often made me feel that I was reading Khar's biography instead. The book went around in circles, never seeming to end and I couldn't help but feel if Tehmina was truly really oblivious to many incidences.
I discussed this with @ashgadiyar and was relieved to see that I wasn't the only one to feel this way. Tehmina makes it almost impossible to buy her story and although my heart goes out to her for all that she had to endure, the book somehow seems too much. I would have wanted this to be more about her but all the additional details about Khar's political life only ruined the experience for me. For someone who loves reading biographies and memoirs, this was truly such a letdown.
Rating : 3.4/5.
Sometimes you go in with a lot of expectations but come out with a disappointed heart. My Feudal Lord was exactly that. What intrigued me about it was the involvement of a powerful man, Ghulam Mustafa Khar who was once the Chief Minister and Governor of Punjab and was also Bhutto's dear friend. Tehmina exposes his temper, manipulative tactics, physical and mental abuse and his political journey (to a large extent) for the world to see and it truly frightened me to know that a person can carry such evilness inside him/her. What also pushed me to get a copy of this book was because of William Hoffer, who co-authored my absolute favourite book 'Not Without My Daughter'. Having such strong points, I imagined myself admiring this biography but by the end of it all, I remain confused.
Tehmina Durrani comes from an aristocratic yet dysfunctional family. With an unkind mother and an almost invisible father, she grew up being everyone's least favorite. When she married Anees, a decent young man, she was relieved to have escaped her family home but only to realise that she didn't love her husband. Khar's entry into her life only cemented the fact that he has been the one for her all along. Known as Lion of Punjab, Khar was a womanizer and a Feudal Lord, known for his fierce attitude. Against all warning, she becomes his fifth wife and troubles begin soon after. There's physical abuse followed by severe manipulation, where Khar easily pitted the family members against one another. She hasn't had an easy life but there were instances which were simply absurd for me to understand. It lacked genuineness and this was a concerning factor if found in biographies. There's a lot of politics involved in the book which often made me feel that I was reading Khar's biography instead. The book went around in circles, never seeming to end and I couldn't help but feel if Tehmina was truly really oblivious to many incidences.
I discussed this with @ashgadiyar and was relieved to see that I wasn't the only one to feel this way. Tehmina makes it almost impossible to buy her story and although my heart goes out to her for all that she had to endure, the book somehow seems too much. I would have wanted this to be more about her but all the additional details about Khar's political life only ruined the experience for me. For someone who loves reading biographies and memoirs, this was truly such a letdown.
Rating : 3.4/5.
palwashahere's review against another edition
5.0
Trigger warning: Physical abuse, cheating, corruption.
The book starts with a bang depicting the scene when Tehmina Durrani first crossed paths with Mustafa Kharr at Punjab club.
It's quite obvious from the start that Mustafa Kharr is a man who knows how and when to turn on the charm.
It's very painful to read to say the least.
The cheating parts were really hard to read, but Tehmina had it coming as she had done the same to her partner. But still Kharr took it to the next level. I don't want to spoil it. It is to be experienced first hand.
Victim to an early marriage (at 17) by his father; Mustafa Kharr married his illiterate cousin Wazir that was years older than him.
The second wife he married in sympathy, on impulse and divorced immediately after she gave birth to his son. She was at the hospital when she received the divorce papers.
What's very interesting is how Mustafa Kharr entered politics. The Ghurmani clan became powerful and police turned blind eye to their crimes against the Kharr tribe as Mushtaq Ghurmani became the governor of Punjab. That was the reason Kharrs decided to enter politics because they also wanted the taste of that power.
The 'legendary' Bilal Kharr was born to his third wife Safia.
It was amazing how well Tehmina Durrani delivers the story; the way his fifth wife Shehrazad's (Sherry) disclosure of her husband cruelty couldn't convince her to consider him the bad guy, she was that enamored by his charms.
Kharr is a narcissist you can see that but it's hard leaving such a manipulator, that's true. My heart goes out to Tehmina Durrani. My only regret, I wish I had read it sooner.
In this book we also get a glimpse of how General Zia came into power and a bit more about that political era.
Overall a must read, I bet it will stay with you for years.
Plus it confirms my belief that the sooner you leave a toxic relationship the better!
Though studying deeply his character and his attitude towards Tehmina throughout the years, I have realized that Mustafa Kharr did love her in his own sick twisted way.
The book starts with a bang depicting the scene when Tehmina Durrani first crossed paths with Mustafa Kharr at Punjab club.
It's quite obvious from the start that Mustafa Kharr is a man who knows how and when to turn on the charm.
It's very painful to read to say the least.
The cheating parts were really hard to read, but Tehmina had it coming as she had done the same to her partner. But still Kharr took it to the next level. I don't want to spoil it. It is to be experienced first hand.
Victim to an early marriage (at 17) by his father; Mustafa Kharr married his illiterate cousin Wazir that was years older than him.
The second wife he married in sympathy, on impulse and divorced immediately after she gave birth to his son. She was at the hospital when she received the divorce papers.
What's very interesting is how Mustafa Kharr entered politics. The Ghurmani clan became powerful and police turned blind eye to their crimes against the Kharr tribe as Mushtaq Ghurmani became the governor of Punjab. That was the reason Kharrs decided to enter politics because they also wanted the taste of that power.
The 'legendary' Bilal Kharr was born to his third wife Safia.
It was amazing how well Tehmina Durrani delivers the story; the way his fifth wife Shehrazad's (Sherry) disclosure of her husband cruelty couldn't convince her to consider him the bad guy, she was that enamored by his charms.
Kharr is a narcissist you can see that but it's hard leaving such a manipulator, that's true. My heart goes out to Tehmina Durrani. My only regret, I wish I had read it sooner.
In this book we also get a glimpse of how General Zia came into power and a bit more about that political era.
Overall a must read, I bet it will stay with you for years.
Plus it confirms my belief that the sooner you leave a toxic relationship the better!
Though studying deeply his character and his attitude towards Tehmina throughout the years, I have realized that Mustafa Kharr did love her in his own sick twisted way.
palwasha_here's review against another edition
5.0
Trigger warning: Physical abuse, cheating, corruption.
The book starts with a bang depicting the scene when Tehmina Durrani first crossed paths with Mustafa Kharr at Punjab club.
It's quite obvious from the start that Mustafa Kharr is a man who knows how and when to turn on the charm.
It's very painful to read to say the least.
The cheating parts were really hard to read, but Tehmina had it coming as she had done the same to her partner. But still Kharr took it to the next level. I don't want to spoil it. It is to be experienced first hand.
Victim to an early marriage (at 17) by his father; Mustafa Kharr married his illiterate cousin Wazir that was years older than him.
The second wife he married in sympathy, on impulse and divorced immediately after she gave birth to his son. She was at the hospital when she received the divorce papers.
What's very interesting is how Mustafa Kharr entered politics. The Ghurmani clan became powerful and police turned blind eye to their crimes against the Kharr tribe as Mushtaq Ghurmani became the governor of Punjab. That was the reason Kharrs decided to enter politics because they also wanted the taste of that power.
The 'legendary' Bilal Kharr was born to his third wife Safia.
It was amazing how well Tehmina Durrani delivers the story; the way his fifth wife Shehrazad's (Sherry) disclosure of her husband cruelty couldn't convince her to consider him the bad guy, she was that enamored by his charms.
Kharr is a narcissist you can see that but it's hard leaving such a manipulator, that's true. My heart goes out to Tehmina Durrani. My only regret, I wish I had read it sooner.
In this book we also get a glimpse of how General Zia came into power and a bit more about that political era.
Overall a must read, I bet it will stay with you for years.
Plus it confirms my belief that the sooner you leave a toxic relationship the better!
Though studying deeply his character and his attitude towards Tehmina throughout the years, I have realized that Mustafa Kharr did love her in his own sick twisted way.
The book starts with a bang depicting the scene when Tehmina Durrani first crossed paths with Mustafa Kharr at Punjab club.
It's quite obvious from the start that Mustafa Kharr is a man who knows how and when to turn on the charm.
It's very painful to read to say the least.
The cheating parts were really hard to read, but Tehmina had it coming as she had done the same to her partner. But still Kharr took it to the next level. I don't want to spoil it. It is to be experienced first hand.
Victim to an early marriage (at 17) by his father; Mustafa Kharr married his illiterate cousin Wazir that was years older than him.
The second wife he married in sympathy, on impulse and divorced immediately after she gave birth to his son. She was at the hospital when she received the divorce papers.
What's very interesting is how Mustafa Kharr entered politics. The Ghurmani clan became powerful and police turned blind eye to their crimes against the Kharr tribe as Mushtaq Ghurmani became the governor of Punjab. That was the reason Kharrs decided to enter politics because they also wanted the taste of that power.
The 'legendary' Bilal Kharr was born to his third wife Safia.
It was amazing how well Tehmina Durrani delivers the story; the way his fifth wife Shehrazad's (Sherry) disclosure of her husband cruelty couldn't convince her to consider him the bad guy, she was that enamored by his charms.
Kharr is a narcissist you can see that but it's hard leaving such a manipulator, that's true. My heart goes out to Tehmina Durrani. My only regret, I wish I had read it sooner.
In this book we also get a glimpse of how General Zia came into power and a bit more about that political era.
Overall a must read, I bet it will stay with you for years.
Plus it confirms my belief that the sooner you leave a toxic relationship the better!
Though studying deeply his character and his attitude towards Tehmina throughout the years, I have realized that Mustafa Kharr did love her in his own sick twisted way.
miserableaf's review against another edition
3.0
While i loved the taboos raised( or atleast tried to), as a person and as a sister, tehmina durrani sucks.
hanituks's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0