Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Een klein leven by Hanya Yanagihara

1809 reviews

fran_____'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

iluvshelby's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

averyirelyn's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

absolutely crazy book

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Trafficking, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

paddles1704's review against another edition

dark emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

 I didn’t cry, in the end. 

The pain swelled to a crescendo up until that final page, with an echo of hope that wasn’t really hope at all. I can see why someone would have been sad, but I felt numb and angry. I feel, now, that I wish I could just forget everything about it. 

If the purpose of the novel was to tell me that pain exists, and some people can’t handle it, can’t escape it, I didn’t need that written in over 700 pages. I have read about pain before, but worse, I have felt pain, I have met people and loved people in pain.

To spare you reading it yourself - Jude’s friends die meaninglessly and accidentally, Jude dies purposely and tragically, and after feeling bad for how he has treated those around him and refusing their help and acting horribly again and again, he leaves them behind to wonder what they could have done differently. So it is, with suicide.

Hanya Yanagihara wrote the ending, as an acceptable end to a life of suffering, which she spent 720 pages trying to convince me was too much. Trying to convince me that there is some measure of suffering which can be deemed ‘too much’, and that asking people to live beyond that line is selfish of me. Deciding not to live beyond that line is acceptable, as if they have earned it, somehow. 
 

What sort of ending is that? 
What hope does that offer the sufferer?
What meaning does that offer those who love people suffering? 

As I said – if the purpose of the book was to acknowledge pain, to flesh it out and describe it beautifully, ‘A Little Life’ does no more than walk someone to the edge of despair and leave them there. 

Perhaps there is no purpose – perhaps you are simply meant to cry, and feel something, and then close the book and put it back on the shelf. 

Either way, it was a waste of my time. 

Full review here: https://christianpears.wordpress.com/2024/09/15/on-writing-pain-a-little-life-review/

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Cancer, Child abuse, Drug abuse, and Drug use

pikkumarja's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Loveable characters? Yes

4.0

Tunnen ristiriitaisesti tästä kirjasta. Proosa Pienessä elämässä on kaunista. Se on yksityiskohdissaan pyörteilevää ja jotenkin kiusallisen tarkkanäköistä. Tunsin oloni epämukavaksi, koska halusin jatkaa lukemista, vaikka se tuntui tirkistelyltä. Rakastin ihmissuhteiden kuvauksia ja erityisesti Willemiä ja Juliaa. Näiden asioiden takia matalampi arvosana ei tunnu oikeutetulta, mutta on sanottava, että jo aloittaessani lukemista olin kriittisenä liikenteessä.

Mutta onhan tämä vähän liikaa. Yksityiskohtaiset kuvaukset itsetuhoisuudesta, tuhon graafisuus ja ylipäätään queerihmisten kärsimys oli turhan mittavaa. Yksittäisenä kirjana queerkärsimys vielä menisi, mutta laajempana ilmiönä (ja koska tämäkin kirja on osa laajempaa kirjallisuuden kokonaisuutta ja kulttuuria) queerit saavat kärsiä liikaa. Ei tämä silti ole ansainnut syytöksiä traumapornosta tai epäuskottavalla trauman määrällä. Maailma ei ole reilu ja jotkut ihmiset joutuvat kärsimään enemmän kuin on inhimillisesti mahdollista. Kehotan todella lukemaan sisältövaroitukset ajan kanssa, jos et kestä joitain teemoja.

Yanagihara onnistuu luomaan todella painavan tunnelman kerronnallaan. Kirja jää varmasti elämään mielen perukoille pitkäksi aikaa monestakin syystä.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

jaydenmosher's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

tanitamxtx's review against another edition

dark slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Loveable characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

This was a lot. In a bad way. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and Suicide attempt

Honestly, avoid it

hidivamd71's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This book is so intense that I am in the minority of those who did not like it. The writing is beautiful, but the amount of emotional and physical pain described here is too much…

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Trafficking, Medical trauma, and Injury/Injury detail

vin_eeta_3's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

hazelgrace2411's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I have wanted to read this book for so long since I last saw one of my favourite YouTubers crying after reading this book. Wherever I see a review of this book, I see people crying. It spiked my curiosity, and today I have finally finished it. I am so glad that I read this book. It is a must-read.

Where to start? Firstly the writing. I cannot stress enough that Hanya's writing is terrific. It is so subtle yet so merciless. She has done an incredible job of laying out the cruel reality of life. She keeps us readers engaged from the start till the very end. Her book is like an onion, peeling away each aspect of life.

I was so immersed in the story and all of the characters. I love Jude and Willem, and Harold, Julia, Andy, Malcolm, and JB. All of their dynamics with Jude and their selfless love and genuine care for him almost balanced out the traumatising parts of the book. This book is dark and whenever I came across those details, I had to put away the book and just stare blankly at the wall, wondering how can a human being be capable of such cruelty. I was so angry at those parts that I genuinely wanted to physically harm each one of them and make them pay for every bad thing they ever did to a child. Jude went through so much at such a small age. He didn't deserve any of those things. Nobody deserves it.

I am glad that Jude got to experience friendship and the true love and care of his parents. I feel for him. He didn't deserve any of it and the severe trauma he went through defined his whole life. He was never able to overcome any of it his entire life.

I thought I would ugly cry reading this book but I braved it all: Jude's past trauma, his abusive relationship with Cardan, Willem's death. But I broke at the very end. I thought Jude would live but he took his life after all. It was Harold's words that broke me and made me cry. Jude took away his life because he couldn't tolerate life anymore and he died believing all those words that his abusers wanted him to believe. He died thinking he was unworthy of all the love. He died believing he was worthless and this breaks my heart so much. Jude is going to be one of the fictional characters that I will have the most empathy for. He deserves all the love in the world.

This book is a reality check. These things happening to Jude are not fiction. My favorite John Green quote is- Life is not a wish-granting factory. We live among monsters and this world is surviving only because of people like Willem, Harold, Julia, Andy, Malcolm, JB, Irvines, and Richard.

This book breaks your heart and takes away a part of your soul. It is eye-opening. I know I will think about this book. I will think about Jude and how much he endured, and how evil men could be.

Favorite Quotes~

'Friendship, companionship: it so often defied logic, so often eluded the deserving, so often settled itself on the odd, the bad, the peculiar, the damaged.' (pg 91-92)

'... things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.' (pg 133-134)

'... because to be alive was to worry. Life was scary; it was unknowable.' (pg 500)

'We're all dying. He just knew his death would come sooner than he had planned. But that doesn't mean they weren't happy years, that it wasn't a happy life.' (pg 621)

'He had looked at Jude, then, and had felt that same sensation he sometimes did when he thought, really thought of Jude and what his life had been: a sadness, he might have called it, but it wasn't a pitying sadness; it was a larger sadness, one that seemed to encompass all the poor striving people, the billions he didn't know, all living their lives, a sadness that mingled with a wonder and awe at how hard humans everywhere tried to live, even when their days were so very difficult, even when their circumstances were so wretched. Life is so sad, he would think in those moments. It's so sad, and yet we all do it. We all cling to it; we all search for something to give us solace.' (pg 621)

'It isn't only that he died, or how he died; it is what he died believing. And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him.' (pg 720) 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Suicide attempt