okkkkkk's review
fast-paced
3.0
it was alr. didn’t know it was the last book (so far) in authors series or that it was autobiographical so maybe i should’ve read the others first.
rotswap's review
4.0
To anyone who's tearing her down or calling her stupid for not understanding romantic love or sex in the same way you do, educate yourself about the asexual spectrum and/or consider the fact that other people have different thoughts, feelings, and needs than you do. If you can't do either, just pick up a different book....
This book has rather mixed reviews so while I enjoyed Nagata Kabi's previous books (especially My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness and My Alcoholic Escape from Reality), I wasn't sure what to expect.
On the surface, not much happens so I understand why some readers might not know what to make of it. But this book was way more intriguing, unique, and relatable than I anticipated.
I'm on the ace spectrum and that definitely informed my reading of this book. And while she never names aromanticism, asexuality, demisexuality or graysexuality, Nagata's experience felt like an ace story. She wants love and connection but is ambivalent about sex. She grew up understanding romantic love as a concept but until her 30's hadn't understood it as a reality or lived experience. Her unpacking these thoughts and feelings was fascinating to me (and somewhat relatable!). I haven't seen anyone discuss or explore these ideas so honestly and openly. Whether or not Nagata identifies as ace in any way, I think her experience speaks to many ace realities. Things that seem straightforward or obvious to those with romantic and/or sexual feelings may not be to those without them (or who experience those things with much less urgency or importance).
As I looked though the reviews for this book, I saw a lot of acephobia, especially in terms of infantilization. It's true that Nagata talks about sometimes having a childlike sense of the world and having interest in things the dominant culture might view as immature. However, a disinterest or ambivalence about sex and/or romantic intimacy itself does not take away one's legitimacy as an adult human. We tend to conflate sexual interest/experience with one's overall level of maturity. This is ignorant and often discriminatory.
I love Nagata's authenticity and ability to convey experiences and feelings that are often misunderstood or shied away from. You don't have to relate to someone else's experience in order to respect their humanity or see value in their perspective.
This book has rather mixed reviews so while I enjoyed Nagata Kabi's previous books (especially My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness and My Alcoholic Escape from Reality), I wasn't sure what to expect.
On the surface, not much happens so I understand why some readers might not know what to make of it. But this book was way more intriguing, unique, and relatable than I anticipated.
I'm on the ace spectrum and that definitely informed my reading of this book. And while she never names aromanticism, asexuality, demisexuality or graysexuality, Nagata's experience felt like an ace story. She wants love and connection but is ambivalent about sex. She grew up understanding romantic love as a concept but until her 30's hadn't understood it as a reality or lived experience. Her unpacking these thoughts and feelings was fascinating to me (and somewhat relatable!). I haven't seen anyone discuss or explore these ideas so honestly and openly. Whether or not Nagata identifies as ace in any way, I think her experience speaks to many ace realities. Things that seem straightforward or obvious to those with romantic and/or sexual feelings may not be to those without them (or who experience those things with much less urgency or importance).
As I looked though the reviews for this book, I saw a lot of acephobia, especially in terms of infantilization. It's true that Nagata talks about sometimes having a childlike sense of the world and having interest in things the dominant culture might view as immature. However, a disinterest or ambivalence about sex and/or romantic intimacy itself does not take away one's legitimacy as an adult human. We tend to conflate sexual interest/experience with one's overall level of maturity. This is ignorant and often discriminatory.
I love Nagata's authenticity and ability to convey experiences and feelings that are often misunderstood or shied away from. You don't have to relate to someone else's experience in order to respect their humanity or see value in their perspective.
robertrivasplata's review
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
tense
fast-paced
4.0
Sequel to My Alcoholic Escape From Reality. Much more off the wall, & somehow even more emo, which I suppose is to be expected in a book about the author's romantic/gender/sexual angst, & her forays into the terrifying dating scene, & which also includes the disturbing account of the sexual assault she suffered as a young child. The part where her efforts to maximize the red flags in her dating profile elicit greater & greater (& creepier) interest is disturbing, if sort of predictable (maybe that's why it's disturbing). Gives her perspective on Japanese conceptions of gender. I like how the term “Hotel” seems to be used for the American term “third date”. Does not give much update on Nagata-san's drinking problem. I wonder if there is an Alcoholics Anonymous scene in Japan. Whatever AA's faults, they do have an interesting terminology for alcohol abuse. Finally, is the use of “Senpai” for someone at work talking about their dating experience meant to be a little humorous? I guess I'm not familiar enough with the term; would you consider the proverbial 90s friend's older brother who lived in the basement & smoked a lot of weed, & was really into ancient aliens (before they got big on cable) a sort of senpai? Or is the term just being used to indicate that this guy was an older classmate she worked with?
ellarroperr's review
3.0
i didn’t know this was the last (for now) volume in nagata’s series and i read this volume before ‘my solo exchange diary’!! i wish i had saved this one for last but the experience was still lovely!
if i’m honest, this wasn’t nagata’s best work, however upon looking at the reviews a lot of people are saying it’s because it was a complete narrative rather than an anecdotal one which i can understand since there wasn’t a lot of material that caught my interest.
however!!
i think that this in itself is soooo important, instead of bashing her that this volume wasn’t as interesting as the others, people should be happy for her that she’s finally at a place in her life where her mental health is a lot better!!! she may not have as much to say about the negatives in her life but that is a good thing!
this in itself is wrapped up in the last chapter where she explains that this volume will probably be the last one for now since she’s doing okay at the moment and doesn’t feel the need to draw herself struggling in her manga as a coping mechanism! i’m happy she’s doing better and i hope she starts a new series soon, i love her storytelling and art style :)
if i’m honest, this wasn’t nagata’s best work, however upon looking at the reviews a lot of people are saying it’s because it was a complete narrative rather than an anecdotal one which i can understand since there wasn’t a lot of material that caught my interest.
however!!
i think that this in itself is soooo important, instead of bashing her that this volume wasn’t as interesting as the others, people should be happy for her that she’s finally at a place in her life where her mental health is a lot better!!! she may not have as much to say about the negatives in her life but that is a good thing!
this in itself is wrapped up in the last chapter where she explains that this volume will probably be the last one for now since she’s doing okay at the moment and doesn’t feel the need to draw herself struggling in her manga as a coping mechanism! i’m happy she’s doing better and i hope she starts a new series soon, i love her storytelling and art style :)
foggy_rosamund's review
2.0
This volume feels less complete and less fully explored than the previous instalments in the series. Nagata touches on her feelings surrounding relationships and partners, but the musings don't have a narrative arc, and don't seem to go anywhere. It's not as satisfying or well constructed as the rest of the stories.
taylizart's review
reflective
fast-paced
3.75
Didn’t really have much of a plot like her other works, but always still an interesting and cathartic read. Also the whole time I’m screaming “Kabi-San!!! You might be aromantic/asexual kabi-San!!!!” Surely she will come to this conclusion in the future…. Right?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault