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sharon333's review against another edition
5.0
So much wisdom, warmth, and kindhearted humor! I love Pema!
tatsgill's review against another edition
5.0
As soon as I finished this book I started reading it again. I had heard from several friends I should check it out, over the years. Then, a couple years ago, as I was walking by my house, I found this book on the ground! I started to read it, and just couldn't get into it, I was too distracted for the quiet observance it was teaching.
Fast forward a ton of inner-work later, a couple months ago I was doing step 11 of AA (pray and meditate) and my wonderful sponsor suggested - in lieu of praying and stuff I wasn't into - that I read this book for 10 minutes every day.
It's become my bible. In here I find all the spiritual guidance I was lacking and seeking. This book taught me how to meditate, something I'd been struggling with for years (although I'm only up to 5-8 minutes a day, its become a near-daily practice). It's taught me to accept, to be present, and to desire peace, not war. Most important of all it taught me to look at my own foibles with acceptance, gentleness and humor. Before, every time I found a flaw in myself I'd attack it like a cockroach, which only resulted in multiplying flaws and misery. This book is so full of wisdom, grace and quieting of mind. This is a great book for everyone, ever.
Fast forward a ton of inner-work later, a couple months ago I was doing step 11 of AA (pray and meditate) and my wonderful sponsor suggested - in lieu of praying and stuff I wasn't into - that I read this book for 10 minutes every day.
It's become my bible. In here I find all the spiritual guidance I was lacking and seeking. This book taught me how to meditate, something I'd been struggling with for years (although I'm only up to 5-8 minutes a day, its become a near-daily practice). It's taught me to accept, to be present, and to desire peace, not war. Most important of all it taught me to look at my own foibles with acceptance, gentleness and humor. Before, every time I found a flaw in myself I'd attack it like a cockroach, which only resulted in multiplying flaws and misery. This book is so full of wisdom, grace and quieting of mind. This is a great book for everyone, ever.
jennacbz's review against another edition
4.0
There is a lot of value in this book. It is something that I come back to for insight on the human condition. It is also something that propels me to read more on Buddhist teachings and meditation practices.
"The reason we're here in this world at all is to study ourselves."
"Thinking that we have time to do things later is the greatest myth."
"The reason we're here in this world at all is to study ourselves."
"Thinking that we have time to do things later is the greatest myth."
audacityspork's review against another edition
challenging
informative
slow-paced
3.0
Tl;dr
This book isn’t reinventing the wheel for intro to Buddhism/meditation. However, Chödrön describes things from a different angle than other Buddhist texts, which gives this book special value (especially the first half). All that being said, I think I grew biased against the author because of the way she expressed some ideas, so I was less eager to hear her out by the end of the book.
Pros
- The first half of the book is really good, and does a good job explaining some core concepts of Buddhism and how people get trapped in cycles.
- I feel like this is accessible to people who are new to Buddhism or meditation, but also complex enough that people deep in practice will find meaning in it.
- I liked the chapter that explains loneliness a lot.
Cons
- Knowing the sexual assault and substance misuse allegations against Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, I have a healthy skepticism of his followers, including this author.
- There’s explicit anti-theism in this book that argues that those who believe in a god are entertaining false hope and deluding themselves from the reality of true hopelessness. She’s trying to make a point, but the way she goes about it just alienates theists, and affirms a sense that atheism is superior. I don’t think these outcomes are actually useful for anybody.
- Some anti-neurodivergent sentiments. She treats fidgeting / stimming as a sign of fear and discomfort with the way things are, rather than a normal and acceptable way for neurodivergent people to self-regulate. Ironically, it makes her sound intolerant and ignorant to something she doesn’t fully understand.
The biggest challenge I see for Buddhist books is whether and how they contend with the
paradoxes of Buddhism. This book doesn’t adequately confront those tensions. The following are criticisms that follow this line of concern:
- One of the biggest tensions I see in most modern Western books about Buddhism is that they struggle to differentiate between “suffering,” good pain, and unnecessary pain. In Buddhism, “suffering” doesn’t connote the experience of pain, but rather our interpretations that we put onto our reality that make life worse (mainly aversion/hate, clinging/greed, & confusion/ignorance). But often these books willy nilly use the term “suffering” to also connote pain, even while they also use “suffering” in the traditional way as well, so that makes things confusing. But beyond the semantics, these books struggle to advertise Buddhism when they suggest that all aversion is bad, to the point where anytime we refuse pain, we’re turning away from the true reality. For example, I would want anaesthesia for surgery, but Chödrön may argue that all pain is “good pain,” so it’s better to not use anaesthetic. The book doesn’t outright say this, but the suggestion is there. I believe some pain is unnecessary – like, if you don’t experience it, there’s no negative outcome on the rest of the world. Taking a painkiller for a headache is probably a good option to have, and it doesn’t make you morally inferior.
- Western Buddhist books run the risk of appearing to be gluts for pain and shaming toward anyone who likes pleasure, and this book doesn’t pass this test. There’s a kernel of truth here — there’s wisdom we can gain from pain and pleasure, and I know many people who turn away from all pain and end up turning off their own humanity. Our aversion to pain is dangerous, and it does lead people astray. But this book can sound shaming rather than curious of our intrinsic human urges, which detracts from its arguments. I’m most intrigued by Buddhist books that really contend with aversion and clinging, not as bad parts of human nature, but as tendencies that sometimes lead us astray and other times have a positive result. I have some skepticism around Buddhist books that appear averse to all aversion and clinging — it seems ironic to deem these urges as intrinsically bad and worth avoiding.
- Chödrön doesn’t resolve the tension between acceptance of things as-is versus righteous and active work to change the world in a beneficial way. She’s pro both, and doesn’t give us advice for distinguishing between the two.
maeveybug's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
3.0
Many parts of this book are useful for anyone! Would recommend to anyone in a place of needing it
graciegrace1178's review against another edition
3.0
My biggest issue with this? A distortion of philosophy for sensationalism. "Abandon hope" particularly.
lexchristakis's review against another edition
3.0
I listened to this book but I wish I read it and had a copy to reference. I zoned out quite a bit. I also think it was quite basic but some things stuck.