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alexus_sb's review
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
It was weird...
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Minor: Death
gremlin_98's review
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.75
The concept sounded nuts, and I just had to see what it was all about. I'm not going to lie. The weird shit going on as a side plot made this a more enjoyable erotica read.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Drug abuse
Minor: Death
A creepy dude breaks into one of his tenants spaces and is a total creep about it. Also he killed someone & attempts to drug MC.roksyreads's review
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Someone’s been watching Tana closely—very closely. From intimate moments to lazy afternoons, he’s secretly watched it all, falling for her along the way. There’s just one problem: someone else with a dangerous obsession is watching Tana, too. To save herself from the worst of humanity, Tana must decide if she can trade her first line of defence for an unusual supernatural ally before it’s too late for them both.
For a novella, this had a surprising amount of plot! A quick and easy read, it was a pleasant foray into a weird and wonderful story with humour, tension, and heart, as well as a good dose of spice.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Minor: Death, Gun violence, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
rokiro13's review
funny
tense
fast-paced
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0
This one was an interesting read. I only found it because of a book group that I'm a part of on Facebook and I was intrigued, so I looked into it. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I started it early Wednesday morning, but I couldn't get myself to read past the first line because I was sleep deprived and giggly, but once I actually started reading it I really enjoyed it. Yes, the FMC has sex with her door who can turn human.
“I have no name but yours, Tana. I am your faithful guardian and protector, nothing more, nothing less. I am your door, and I love you.”
“I have no name but yours, Tana. I am your faithful guardian and protector, nothing more, nothing less. I am your door, and I love you.”
Content Warnings
Moderate: Violence, Kidnapping, Stalking, and Murder
Minor: Death
lizardgod's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Author writes about how unethical AI is in the intro. Author proceeds to write a story I'd only imagine I'd get from AI. /jk
All jokes aside, what did I read? I can't even rate this because for how bad the plot and characters (and to some degree the writing) are, I can't tell if that was intentional or not. I went into this as a comedy and left it very bewildered, but laughing. Congrats to the author for writing such a cursed book, that it inevitably became a comedic masterpiece.
All jokes aside, what did I read? I can't even rate this because for how bad the plot and characters (and to some degree the writing) are, I can't tell if that was intentional or not. I went into this as a comedy and left it very bewildered, but laughing. Congrats to the author for writing such a cursed book, that it inevitably became a comedic masterpiece.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Gun violence, Sexual content, Violence, Blood, Stalking, Murder, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Body horror, Sexism, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
jamiecl's review
adventurous
funny
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Violence, and Stalking
Moderate: Death, Murder, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Alcohol
hannahslit's review
hopeful
lighthearted
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
I came across this author and book by accident when trying to see which Chuck Tingle book people on Reddit recommended be read first. An old post, rather than answering the question, suggested this book instead, and I’m glad they did. Once I found out ‘Unhinged’ (perfect title btw) was about a sentient door in love with the human woman whose apartment he ‘protects’, I was all ears (and eyes).
The story is narrated by The Door, so we see everything from his point of view, which is so unique and works really well I think. It also means we don’t know much about Tana other than the things Drys (aka The Door) sees; her love of detective shows, the ice cream she eats to make herself feel better during her depressive episodes, the way she uses her “shivering blue stick” (I really love this joke) to give herself pleasure.
Weirdly, though I was curious to know things like Tana’s job, why she had moved to the apartment, her friends and family etc, I found myself accepting the mystery of her, perhaps because Drys, the narrator, had so willingly done the same. The short length of the book also made me more understanding to the author not needing to delve as deep as you may be required with a full length.
The danger to life element/threat of a murderous landlord gave the story a much needed edge and was a good plot driver, though at times I felt the landlords portrayal to be cartoonishly evil.
(SPOILER)
I thought adding the gods element to explain Drys being sentient was smart (also enjoyed Zeus’ cameo lmao), along with communicating with Tana through her dreams. I’m also realising whilst writing this review that Tana hinted at being more ‘kinky’ than she first thought by even agreeing to have sex with her front door, and this is later seen in her taking the lead sexually.
I kind of wanted to know what they looked like a bit more for my own personal visuals. I felt like it was hinted at (Drys saying Tana’s skin was closer to the original colour of his oak, if oak is a brown shade does this mean she’s Black or Mixed or simply has a tan?) but not explored. Maybe Drys could’ve had a scene where he looked in the mirror so that the readers could see a visual of him as a human too.
The way Valentine tied Drys need to protect and serve Tana into Tana awakening a sub kink in him was genius and I loved that. Tana being a dom was unexpected but appreciated! The sex between them was hot and I believed their chemistry. There were a few editing issues (e.g. when tenses would slip and Drys, who was our acting narrator would accidentally refer to himself in the third person) but otherwise this was a really original, sexy novelette and I REALLY enjoyed it.
P.S. I thought it was quite a cool touch that Drys turns into a door every full moon and only Tana’s “magic pussy” can bring him back to life. It’s an homage to myths and fairytales which fits with Drys’ existence.
The story is narrated by The Door, so we see everything from his point of view, which is so unique and works really well I think. It also means we don’t know much about Tana other than the things Drys (aka The Door) sees; her love of detective shows, the ice cream she eats to make herself feel better during her depressive episodes, the way she uses her “shivering blue stick” (I really love this joke) to give herself pleasure.
Weirdly, though I was curious to know things like Tana’s job, why she had moved to the apartment, her friends and family etc, I found myself accepting the mystery of her, perhaps because Drys, the narrator, had so willingly done the same. The short length of the book also made me more understanding to the author not needing to delve as deep as you may be required with a full length.
The danger to life element/threat of a murderous landlord gave the story a much needed edge and was a good plot driver, though at times I felt the landlords portrayal to be cartoonishly evil.
(SPOILER)
I thought adding the gods element to explain Drys being sentient was smart (also enjoyed Zeus’ cameo lmao), along with communicating with Tana through her dreams. I’m also realising whilst writing this review that Tana hinted at being more ‘kinky’ than she first thought by even agreeing to have sex with her front door, and this is later seen in her taking the lead sexually.
I kind of wanted to know what they looked like a bit more for my own personal visuals. I felt like it was hinted at (Drys saying Tana’s skin was closer to the original colour of his oak, if oak is a brown shade does this mean she’s Black or Mixed or simply has a tan?) but not explored. Maybe Drys could’ve had a scene where he looked in the mirror so that the readers could see a visual of him as a human too.
The way Valentine tied Drys need to protect and serve Tana into Tana awakening a sub kink in him was genius and I loved that. Tana being a dom was unexpected but appreciated! The sex between them was hot and I believed their chemistry. There were a few editing issues (e.g. when tenses would slip and Drys, who was our acting narrator would accidentally refer to himself in the third person) but otherwise this was a really original, sexy novelette and I REALLY enjoyed it.
P.S. I thought it was quite a cool touch that Drys turns into a door every full moon and only Tana’s “magic pussy” can bring him back to life. It’s an homage to myths and fairytales which fits with Drys’ existence.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Gun violence, Stalking, and Murder
vreyna20_2004's review
adventurous
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
1.0
I felt uncomfortable for not Tana having sex with her door (and liking it) but because they explained how Drys (the door) door knob which is his dick stretched her. I can’t even say that I didn’t need to know since I read this willingly. Also Drys? Seriously? Anyway, the creep who murdered the girl cannot be a realistic way people talk when they’re being creepy, right? I’m just baffled I tried writing a review for so long, but nothing comes in my mind. I just read it and I don’t like that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Sexual content, and Stalking
Moderate: Death and Murder
Minor: Alcohol
alixsbooktherapy's review
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
lighthearted
relaxing
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Well I guess I'm attracted to doors🤣
This book had me asking myself what the fuck I was reading and questioning myself so much especially when I got aroused
This is one of those odd smuts I recommend
The love tana and drys had was absolutely so cute even if he was previously her door
The aftercare was top tier and I've never seen books really go that detailed into it.
This book was sexy and wholesome at the same time the spice level was 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 I was so shocked I didn't think I'd like it
Shoutout to vera Valentine for making me even kinkier🤣 definitely can't wait to read more fucked up smut by her/others (give me recs😅)
I cried when Drys got shot by tanas creepy neighbor Randall.
My heart hurt so bad like what the actual fuck
Now to share some quotes
“That was a handjob, Drys, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man completely reboot his hard drive over it like that. You okay, baby? I worried I’d broken you for a second there.”
Her light teasing made my cock throb pleasantly. She stroked me again, firmly enough that my hips kicked again and I moaned out loud, nodding frantically.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Drys. I have a weakness for big, strong men who do as they’re told. Good boys who enjoy working for my praise. It makes me feel safe and protected. Do you know anyone like that?” (he got so nervous when she said this)
What do you want me to call you Tana asked Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.
“The look on your face when I told you what a good door you were for me.”
She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now.
“Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”
“My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”
This book had me asking myself what the fuck I was reading and questioning myself so much especially when I got aroused
This is one of those odd smuts I recommend
The love tana and drys had was absolutely so cute even if he was previously her door
The aftercare was top tier and I've never seen books really go that detailed into it.
This book was sexy and wholesome at the same time the spice level was 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 I was so shocked I didn't think I'd like it
Shoutout to vera Valentine for making me even kinkier🤣 definitely can't wait to read more fucked up smut by her/others (give me recs😅)
I cried when Drys got shot by tanas creepy neighbor Randall.
My heart hurt so bad like what the actual fuck
Now to share some quotes
“That was a handjob, Drys, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man completely reboot his hard drive over it like that. You okay, baby? I worried I’d broken you for a second there.”
Her light teasing made my cock throb pleasantly. She stroked me again, firmly enough that my hips kicked again and I moaned out loud, nodding frantically.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Drys. I have a weakness for big, strong men who do as they’re told. Good boys who enjoy working for my praise. It makes me feel safe and protected. Do you know anyone like that?” (he got so nervous when she said this)
What do you want me to call you Tana asked Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.
“The look on your face when I told you what a good door you were for me.”
She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now.
“Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”
“My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Body horror, Death, Drug use, Gore, Gun violence, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Torture, Violence, Blood, Stalking, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
k_bee_readin's review
dark
funny
lighthearted
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Fish’s tiktok reading and crystallized version of the book led me here and honestly it wasn’t bad. The door was kinda a sweetheart
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Death, Violence, Murder, and Sexual harassment