Reviews with content warning for Emotional abuse - First, Become Ashes

Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

First, Become Ashes by K.M. Szpara

17 reviews

teresa0623's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

I loved this book and I couldn't wait to talk to my book club about it. There was so much to unpack with Lark's story. This book was very hard to read, the content made me uncomfortable but it was sooo worth it. Magical realism was woven into the story (and I am a sucker for magical realism). I will be thinking about this book for a long time.

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spacebetweenpages's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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doddyaboutbooks's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

pdestrienne's review

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adventurous emotional tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? N/A
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I was kind of afraid I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to read this, based on its trigger warnings, that it would be too heavy. And, while it deals with heavy things, it is written with lightness and healing. The narrative moves fast with a propulsive mix of plot and character development moving in tandem. Set in an alternate America where a cult has bought up a park and former zoo in the middle of Baltimore, it spends only one chapter in that insular place before exploding the cult member's lives and having their sanctuary raided by the FBI. So as readers we don't ever get an objective view of the Fellowship of the Anointed - we focus on 5 of its members, 2 most of the time, with the leader shown in flashbacks, and we see the daily life through the perspectives of the members, which are unreliable as far as our reality goes, especially for Lark, who believes wholly in the destiny and purpose of the Anointed. These are children raised apart from their biological parents, partnered in order to produce magic through pain and care, so they can go out into the world to fight monsters and FOEs at age 25. These missions seem doomed to fail in many ways, but especially because the first one to reach 25 doesn't believe anymore. Once the cult is raided, the story becomes a chase and a quest, following Lark as he forms a tentative alliance with two outsiders and tries to use his magic to find the monster he must defeat while evading the FBI. Along the way he wrestles with what he's been taught, with the loneliness he feels now that he's in the world and betrayed by his partner, and with the crush he's developing on Calvin, one of the outsiders helping him. It's really a lovely story about defining friendship, love, and family for yourself, for taking what served you from a former life and divorcing it from abuse and hurt, and finding and healing yourself. Also some hot sex scenes, uncomfortably mixed in with memories of nonconsensual abuse from the elders in the cult - I definitely see the truth in the criticisms that the rape was voyeuristic.

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moatzilla's review

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challenging tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

Content Warnings

arithegnome's review

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challenging dark emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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bookshelfsos's review

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adventurous slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.5

Why do I do this to myself? Why? I knew I probably wouldn't like First, Become Ashes because I didn't like Docile. But damn if the premise and the marketing didn't get me again.

The blurb on the front of this book promises that it will "tackle trauma and healing without flinching" which was incredibly misleading to the point of being irresponsible. Because while there is trauma - heaps of self-harm, abuse, and rape - there is no healing. At least not on the page. The journey from Lark being brainwashed by the cult he grew up in to "healed" is akin to teleportation: we were there one minute and now we're here. Tada! This is not a story about cult deprogramming. It is not a story about someone coming to terms with abuse. This is a story about tropes that Szpara thinks are fun and cutesy pop culture references, off-puttingly intertwined with graphic and intensely unsexy sex scenes.

Speaking of which, it feels irresponsible not to mention a warning about the sex scenes. Particularly if you are coming to this book looking for sensitivity around the subject of sexual assault or healing from sexual abuse, please know that you’re not going to get that here. The book warns you about the content at the beginning, but a content warning doesn’t have the context to inform the reader that this book doesn’t just contain scenes of sexual assault. It revels in them with voyeuristic pleasure (literally). If it seems like it might be more that just a bit irresponsible to lure readers in with a story of “healing from abuse” and then offer instead rape erotica, then I’m going to go ahead and call this book irresponsible. If you want to write rape erotica, do that. If you enjoy dark tropes, have the self-respect to own that. Just don’t dress up your darker fantasies in the politically correct language of the day and try to pass it off as “healing”.

Ok, with that out of the way I guess I’ll touch on some positives. I will say that I actually enjoyed the experience of reading First, Become Ashes more than Docile, mainly because I think Szpara has improved as a writer. So props to growth and development, I guess. I thought that the pacing and the technical aspects of the writing here were both good. Despite being very uninvested in the story (I can't really enjoy a story when I dislike every character), I managed to get through the book quickly and was actually curious about some of the more mysterious plot threads that were set up.

Spoiler

Who was Nova and where did she come from? Why would the city of Baltimore, in an otherwise entirely normal reality where they're hosting major conventions and have cool hipster neighborhoods, sell off hundreds of acres of a public park to a private individual and let them close it off and start a cult in the middle of the city? What did Deryn do to lose their position as an Anointed? Is magic real?

Sadly, the payoff for all of these questions is exactly nil. Not one of them will be answered, or at least not to my satisfaction.

The biggest frustration for me with First, Become Ashes is the wasted potential. In the right author's hands the story of two young men growing up in an abusive cult and then having one of them stop believing and "betray" the cult to the FBI is such a good hook. There is love and betrayal. There is confusion of what is real and what isn't. There are questions of loyalty and how far you should go to appease someone you love when they are doing harm to themselves. All of these questions make for compelling character motivations and arcs. But we never see that here because all 300 pages of First, Become Ashes are devoted to Szpara exploring things that he thinks are cute or cool to the detriment of any enjoyment that the reader might have had. I guess if your interests as a reader are perfectly aligned with the author's - if you enjoy Lord of the Rings, Dungeons & Dragons, Harry Potter, cosplay, nerd culture, *and* BDSM - then it's *possible* you might find this book right up your alley. I would not say that it's a guarantee though, because everything here is superficial and ultimately irrelevant to the story. The trappings of geekiness and of kinkiness are seemingly just there to entertain the author and anyone else who finds kinship in shared love of intellectual property. Sadly, that's not nearly enough for me and this book proved to be a frustration and a disappointment.

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freddielounds's review

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adventurous dark tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated

I had such high for hopes for this after loving their debut novel, Docile, so much; unfortunately this one fell a bit flat. The multiple perspectives failed to elevate the story in any, real meaningful way and left the pseudo-enesemble cast under developed. The story maintains such an intense focus on decided protagnoists Lark and Calvin, that, as a result, the perspectives and characters of Derryn and Kane (who we get entirely in the past as world building) fall a bit flat. Additionally, the lack of perspective from Nova was a missed opportunity. Both the beliefs and practices of the cult as well as the extent of Nova's villainy are mostly left off page. To be clear, though Nova by no means comes across as a good person (the few flashbacks we do get are trully awful) there's a layer of removal there that creates a disconnect with the story. There is simply not nearly enough of her on the page for Nova to represent much more than an idea of a character. The fellowship as a whole felt underdeveloped and unexplored and Agent Miller is never given enough time on the page despite, as Nova's child, the story positioning her as the indirect cause of the cult's existence. It almost feels like she belongs in an entirely different story. Calvin's interests feel more like a convinient plot device vs. concious character choice, but, again, that may also be a symptom of how underdeveloped the entire novel feels as a whole.

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foreverinastory's review

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

Content Warnings

noslowregard's review

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adventurous challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Content Warnings

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