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mindforbooks's review against another edition
5.0
“There is no normal, not really. Not a right and a wrong way to be. But there is belonging.”
I'm kind of at a loss when it comes to reviewing this. It's been over a week and I find myself still doing that staring off into space thinking about it thing. Pretty sure anything I put down won't do it justice.
There were more than a few things in this book that struck close to the bone for me but the feelings they elicited were not what I expected they would be. Seeing the world through Emmett's eyes was enlightening and even though his experiences and the experiences of everyone with ASD are not the same the insight he provides into the world of ASD was amazing. I have a friend whose little boy was recently diagnosed with ASD. She is still learning and still trying to discover what his world is like. I discussed this book a lot with her while reading it and I mentioned Emmett's comment about if the seams of his socks were inside how it felt like someone dragging a trowel through his brain. I mentioned it mainly because this is something I can kind of relate to as it also freaks me out. For her it meant something very different and she later told me she went home and cried after I told her, the reason being that this is something that her son has fixated on a lot over the years and that she had lost her temper with him about it a lot, just that one description of how it feels for him provided an insight that she has never had and that he has been unable to communicate. Providing understanding is a pretty powerful gift and Emmett (and therefore Heidi Cullinan) give that gift in this book.
Jeremey was most difficult for me to read. I think that is probably because his 'invisible disease' is more visible in my world than Emmett's. Depression is such a nasty, cruel and hard fought disease and I'm so glad that Jeremey didn't receive a magical 'love' cure.
“I feel bad when people are upset. I feel with them. I'm sorry. I can't turn it off.”
I think the biggest thing I took away from this though is probably the most obvious. The importance of support and understanding. The difference between Jeremey and Emmett's family is startling and by showing them we see the importance of support networks and the importance for a willingness from us all to learn about things that are 'different'.
Emmett and Jeremey's story is a heartfelt one and it's a really beautiful one.
“It’s like Elwood Blues says: everybody needs somebody to love. I’m an everybody. I get a somebody.”
I would love to read David's story. M/M or not. His world is one I am also all too familiar with and I so want to see him get a HEA.
emmajolsson's review against another edition
5.0
CARRY THE OCEAN made me wish GoodReads would let me dish out HEARTS rather than stars.
It also made me:
- laugh a little, and smile A LOT
- cry, in you know, a good way
- want to watch The Blues Brothers
- want to check out Carly's Café
- want to learn sign language
- want to hug Emmet and Jeremey
- want to punch Jeremey's mother in the mouth
I can honestly say that I've never read anything like it before, and I loved every second of it.
There's a shifting 1st person POV, which worried me at first, as that style sometimes becomes a bit confusing - I needn't have worried though, Emmet's and Jeremey's voices were so different that there was never any doubt as to who was narrating the chapter.
Emmet is autistic, and a genius. He's studying applied physics and computer science at the university, but due to his autism he's struggling with social interactions and protocols and cannot read faces. But he is working so hard at getting better at this, and his family is wonderful and supportive, and so he's come a long way.
Jeremy has clinical anxiety and severe depression. He does not have a supportive family. Rather, his mother doesn't believe the doctors, and is constantly frustrated with Jeremey for bing "lazy and irresponsible", and thinks that he needs to "snap out of it". She pushes him a lot, which only makes him worse.
Luckily, after 10 months of gathering courage and practicing conversations in his head, Emmet finally introduces himself to Jeremey, and this amazing friendship (and romance) begins.
I don't think I've ever read about a couple who are this good for each other. They both make the other person a better person, and by helping each other, they also help themselves.
Jeremey is embarrassed by his illness, and his feelings, but Emmet's approach to life helps him to see things differently.
Emmet sees facts, problems and solutions, and so he never judges, just tries to find the right solution or the best way of dealing with a problem.
One of my favourite solutions of his is the different ways he has of communicating, and how he shares and develops them, with Jeremey. And this one scene- I loved how there's no nonsense between these guys - they know what works for them and they know what doesn't, and otherwise they figure it out, and fuck it if it's not what "normal" couples do, who cares, there are a lot of crappy "normal" couples out there anyway...what do they know about what is right and what isn't...!
Honestly though, who doesn't find it easier to write somethings rather than say them out loud?!
Heidi Cullinan has done such a great job with the writing as well, especially with Emmet's voice. It being very specific and litteral, almost clinical, in its narration, and I could practically hear how monotone he was. And at the same time, you could feel all his warmth, or his worry, through the pages as well.
I loved how he researched everything - if he didn't understand something, he did everything he could to learn it.
Oh, and I looooved the way he talked about feelings, or disabilities, or sex -- zero awkwardness, zero judgement, just facts. Which could be a bit uncomfortable for "the normals" (we all know there's no such thing a normal) and it just cracked me up.
But I agree with him - wouldn't it be so much easier if people just said what they meant, and could do it without judgement, instead of playing all those little social games where we somehow say one thing, mean another and the message still goes though...?
Ok, so I'm just rambling here, because this was such a wonderful book, and I just want to tell you about ALL the wonderful parts, and make everybody read it, and instead I'm just writing this incoherent mess of a review!
CARRY THE OCEAN is dark, and sad at times -- I mean with themes like depression and anxiety, how could it not be -- but, really, it IS a happy, beautiful, story.
I feel like I learned a lot from reading it, but I also found it surprisingly relatable -- we all have our demons to fight, no matter their shape or size.
I have like a 100 kazillion more things I want to say, but I'm just gonna stop myself right here, just read it!
It also made me:
- laugh a little, and smile A LOT
- cry, in you know, a good way
- want to watch The Blues Brothers
- want to check out Carly's Café
- want to learn sign language
- want to hug Emmet and Jeremey
- want to punch Jeremey's mother in the mouth
I can honestly say that I've never read anything like it before, and I loved every second of it.
There's a shifting 1st person POV, which worried me at first, as that style sometimes becomes a bit confusing - I needn't have worried though, Emmet's and Jeremey's voices were so different that there was never any doubt as to who was narrating the chapter.
Emmet is autistic, and a genius. He's studying applied physics and computer science at the university, but due to his autism he's struggling with social interactions and protocols and cannot read faces. But he is working so hard at getting better at this, and his family is wonderful and supportive, and so he's come a long way.
Jeremy has clinical anxiety and severe depression. He does not have a supportive family. Rather, his mother doesn't believe the doctors, and is constantly frustrated with Jeremey for bing "lazy and irresponsible", and thinks that he needs to "snap out of it". She pushes him a lot, which only makes him worse.
Luckily, after 10 months of gathering courage and practicing conversations in his head, Emmet finally introduces himself to Jeremey, and this amazing friendship (and romance) begins.
I don't think I've ever read about a couple who are this good for each other. They both make the other person a better person, and by helping each other, they also help themselves.
Jeremey is embarrassed by his illness, and his feelings, but Emmet's approach to life helps him to see things differently.
Emmet sees facts, problems and solutions, and so he never judges, just tries to find the right solution or the best way of dealing with a problem.
One of my favourite solutions of his is the different ways he has of communicating, and how he shares and develops them, with Jeremey. And this one scene
Spoiler
when they've moved into the apartment and want to have sex for the first time, but can't speak about it while in the same room, so Emmet sends Jeremey into his room so they can IM about it instead, was just so friggin' brilliantHonestly though, who doesn't find it easier to write somethings rather than say them out loud?!
Heidi Cullinan has done such a great job with the writing as well, especially with Emmet's voice. It being very specific and litteral, almost clinical, in its narration, and I could practically hear how monotone he was. And at the same time, you could feel all his warmth, or his worry, through the pages as well.
I loved how he researched everything - if he didn't understand something, he did everything he could to learn it.
Oh, and I looooved the way he talked about feelings, or disabilities, or sex -- zero awkwardness, zero judgement, just facts. Which could be a bit uncomfortable for "the normals" (we all know there's no such thing a normal) and it just cracked me up.
But I agree with him - wouldn't it be so much easier if people just said what they meant, and could do it without judgement, instead of playing all those little social games where we somehow say one thing, mean another and the message still goes though...?
Ok, so I'm just rambling here, because this was such a wonderful book, and I just want to tell you about ALL the wonderful parts, and make everybody read it, and instead I'm just writing this incoherent mess of a review!
CARRY THE OCEAN is dark, and sad at times -- I mean with themes like depression and anxiety, how could it not be -- but, really, it IS a happy, beautiful, story.
I feel like I learned a lot from reading it, but I also found it surprisingly relatable -- we all have our demons to fight, no matter their shape or size.
I have like a 100 kazillion more things I want to say, but I'm just gonna stop myself right here, just read it!
melthemighty's review
4.0
Most of the time I read books that are light and have absolutely nothing to do with my reality. This book here brought up a lot of emotions and memories that I normally avoid. I rate it four stars because it really is extremely well written and because most of the story seems very realistic and I think that was the intention of the book.
Unfortunately, there is one tiny part of this book that made me hate it. I'm not taking my anger out on the rating, because it's really only three pages or so that make me so extremely angry, it wouldn't be right to hate the whole book for it. More on this later, I'll try to focus on an actual review first, the rest will get personal later on.
I love Emmet and Jeremey and the way the book portrays the development of their relationship. I even ended up liking David, who was a real headache at first. But what this book really achieves is that you can learn to see what is special in people and how strangely different people are and how they can complement each other.
This is Emmet and Jeremey, they develop so many adaptations to each other that make them a perfectly matched pair. But they don't compromise their personalities, they talk to each other and observe each other and find modifications. I think that's one of the things I really like about this book. Mutual consideration is so important in any kind of relationship. But it is just as important to remain true to yourself. And these two show how to do it in a wonderful way.
To be clear, I have absolutely no personal experience with people affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder and therefore cannot reflect what are true representations of Emmet's characteristics. As with so many mental disabilities, each person is very special and unique. And I love the way Emmet is portrayed. I love the descriptions of how he sees the world and how everything around him affects him.
He is an absolute sweetheart and what I love most is how he sets himself the goal of Jeremey becoming his boyfriend and how it actually happens.
The night before I practiced all my facial recognition charts and went through my flash cards of appropriate getting-to-know-a-boyfriend conversation.
Unfortunately, there is one tiny part of this book that made me hate it. I'm not taking my anger out on the rating, because it's really only three pages or so that make me so extremely angry, it wouldn't be right to hate the whole book for it. More on this later, I'll try to focus on an actual review first, the rest will get personal later on.
I love Emmet and Jeremey and the way the book portrays the development of their relationship. I even ended up liking David, who was a real headache at first. But what this book really achieves is that you can learn to see what is special in people and how strangely different people are and how they can complement each other.
This is Emmet and Jeremey, they develop so many adaptations to each other that make them a perfectly matched pair. But they don't compromise their personalities, they talk to each other and observe each other and find modifications. I think that's one of the things I really like about this book. Mutual consideration is so important in any kind of relationship. But it is just as important to remain true to yourself. And these two show how to do it in a wonderful way.
To be clear, I have absolutely no personal experience with people affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder and therefore cannot reflect what are true representations of Emmet's characteristics. As with so many mental disabilities, each person is very special and unique. And I love the way Emmet is portrayed. I love the descriptions of how he sees the world and how everything around him affects him.
He is an absolute sweetheart and what I love most is how he sets himself the goal of Jeremey becoming his boyfriend and how it actually happens.
The night before I practiced all my facial recognition charts and went through my flash cards of appropriate getting-to-know-a-boyfriend conversation.
caracalico's review against another edition
5.0
While the story was more slice of life than any big dramatic tale, I think that was a strength and YA could use more of it. It didnt really follow an ordinary story arc which was fine for me. I have some asperger tendencies so I could relate to parts of emmet (mostly the style of his thoughts) but I related to Jeremey much more personally. My anxiety depression was never quite as bad, though it easily could have been if my parents had been like his. I still relate enough to understand how it would feel to have it at his level. And while a lot of YA has depressed characters, this felt by far the most earnest and realistic depiction of how it actually feels. I guess because a lot of YA depressed characters usually dont also have anxiety though they are found together so often. This story actually helped me feel more accepting of myself for not being able to do everything like everyone else and to not feel like I have to apologize for it. I also thought Jeremey was a really sweet boy of a type I rarely see in fiction as an 18 year old or older.
I also liked that the bulk of the story had them already together, as most books I've read have been about the process of coming together, and then leave no actual space for depicting a sweet romance.
I also liked that the bulk of the story had them already together, as most books I've read have been about the process of coming together, and then leave no actual space for depicting a sweet romance.
whatcha_listening_to's review against another edition
5.0
Wow, now this was an interesting and different book. I loved that Emmett and Jeremey are so different yet the same. They both have a different set of circumstances but because of them, they can understand each other in a different way than everyone else.
Jeremy kind of breaks my heart because I know someone with a lot of the same things he faces and I know how hard it can be, but also how hard he worked to get to where he was by the end of the book.
Emmett is so authentically himself, his honesty and unwavering knowledge puts Jeremy at ease and it's sweet how he uses his “superpowers” for good and it helps him make friends. ;) But I won’t get into that because I don’t want to give anything away.
Both men have vastly different family situations where Jeremy feels like he is swimming upstream against his parents who just can’t or won’t understand. Emmett has the most understanding and caring parents one could ask for.
The narration was FANTASTIC Iggy does an amazing job and I can’t wait to dive into book two.
Jeremy kind of breaks my heart because I know someone with a lot of the same things he faces and I know how hard it can be, but also how hard he worked to get to where he was by the end of the book.
Emmett is so authentically himself, his honesty and unwavering knowledge puts Jeremy at ease and it's sweet how he uses his “superpowers” for good and it helps him make friends. ;) But I won’t get into that because I don’t want to give anything away.
Both men have vastly different family situations where Jeremy feels like he is swimming upstream against his parents who just can’t or won’t understand. Emmett has the most understanding and caring parents one could ask for.
The narration was FANTASTIC Iggy does an amazing job and I can’t wait to dive into book two.
lastofthewilds's review
5.0
I am normal. I belong. I have a friend who can kick ass from a wheelchair. I live independently and get good grades. I’m an excellent lover. Like I said. I’m awesome. I’m Emmet David Washington. Train Man. The best autistic Blues Brother on the block.
days after putting down this book i'm still at a loss for words. how do you verbalize how much love you feel for two beautifully complex characters who just so happen to be diagnosed with autism/depression/anxiety? but oh boy, even if my circumstances originate from a different place, some of the described experiences hit close to home.
i've always struggled with anxiety and have enough ants skittering in and out of my brain to occupy myself for a lifetime if i never try to challenge them, but certain weeks of every month, my brain octopus decides to suit up in its finest suit of armor to engage in an even more epic battle against yours truly.
for that span of time, i welcome another round of exacerbated anxiety symptoms; drifting in a constant state of lethargy; tossing and turning in bed late into the night; extreme mood swings with plenty of crying & laughing spells (switching between these two within the snap of a finger is terribly disorienting); hypersensitivity to what people say/do around me, the news, sounds, you name it; depressive symptoms that crash in through the front door like unwanted houseguests and leave me lying in bed with a vast feeling of nothingness or inadequacy ramped up to 1000; pure, unadulterated rage coupled with the overwhelming urge to physically lash out triggered by the smallest of things (i've been set off by the sound of someone's breathing before. trust me, i don't get it either). if i could ride out the storm in a cocoon in complete isolation so the world would just be quiet, i would.
“When you have an invisible disease, your sickness isn’t your biggest problem. What you end up battling more than anything else, every single day, is other people.”
i relate to Jeremey in that some people think i am fully capable of controlling my emotions but “not trying hard enough,” or this is my excuse to be dramatic, moody, and at times, borderline hysterical (the number of times i've heard the off-hand "it must be your time of the month again")—as if i'd purposely choose to let everything hit a nerve and set me off in a fit of overwhelming rage—or grant the mere act of picking up the phone enough power to overwhelm me into a crying fit when it already makes my heart pound like a jackhammer in my chest on an average day.
it’s like losing sight of who i am, isolating myself as i fall into another identity crisis and berating my existence as the world's most temperamental, distant, fussy, and petulant monster. it’s a nightmare to spend so comparatively little time each month as my usual happy-go-lucky self before getting precariously thrown back into the pit to deal with those recurring enemies. time, who i am, my relationships—everything becomes muddled.
not recognizing yourself in the mirror some days is jarring, downright frightening, but very much like Emmet and Jeremey, i'm learning to adjust my lifestyle to control my brain octopus and be kinder to myself: "normal" as we often define it simply doesn't exist. this book serves as a great reminder to the world that there is a vast ocean lurking under the surface of everyone we meet.
may we all learn to empathize, support, and respect those struggling with their own personal brain octopuses, so everyone can obtain the help that they need and deserve
dcnedelsky's review
4.5
Started slow but then won me over, consumed a bunch of it on a tired day, where it was what I wanted.
eli_wing's review
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
miabdour's review
5.0
Beautiful story... the best kind, the kind that leaves you with a brand new understanding of being human.
I didn't know anything about autism, clinical anxiety and severe depression when I picked up this book.
And now it's like I see the different shades of human... and it was eye opening, especially when the book also opens your eyes to 'real life' information such as "Carly's Cafe" on youtube that shows you what living with non-verbal autism is and Derek Paravicini a blind autistic man who is a musical savant on Ted Talk... And also just seeing the love between Emmet and Jeremey, and the way they navigate their relationship with their particular road blocks.
This book shifted my perspective, and that is the magical power of a novel with a well thought out theme and moral message.
I didn't know anything about autism, clinical anxiety and severe depression when I picked up this book.
And now it's like I see the different shades of human... and it was eye opening, especially when the book also opens your eyes to 'real life' information such as "Carly's Cafe" on youtube that shows you what living with non-verbal autism is and Derek Paravicini a blind autistic man who is a musical savant on Ted Talk... And also just seeing the love between Emmet and Jeremey, and the way they navigate their relationship with their particular road blocks.
This book shifted my perspective, and that is the magical power of a novel with a well thought out theme and moral message.