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katiejohns's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Infidelity, and Grief
Moderate: Body shaming, Chronic illness, Death, and Death of parent
annreadsabook's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Late to the party with this one, but I finally read Stay With Me and it is so good! It’s got heart, it’s got drama, it’s got social commentary. This book had me GASPING.
I loved that Adébáyọ̀ uses this book to consider the pressures that people face to become parents, and the lengths some might go to both have and protect their families. Yejide gets into some extremely difficult situations because of both external and internal pressures to have a child with the man she loves, who has taken a second wife at the behest of his family. Meanwhile, Yejide, whose own mother died giving birth to her, continues to navigate her own struggles with ideas of motherhood and family.
Through Yejide and her husband Akin, Adébáyọ̀ highlights the unique ways in which unfulfilled (and fulfilled) desires to have children can shape a marriage. And behind all of these complicated dynamics is the tumultuous political landscape of ‘80s-‘90s Nigeria. I loved seeing the development of both Yejide and Akin, and how they both worked through their desires for children (and justified their choices). Sometimes dual-POV books are tough to pull off, but I think this one was quite well done.
This is a great book for those looking for a domestic fiction that makes you think and keeps you on your toes. It’s an intimate glimpse into the battles we fight to keep the ones we love close.
I loved that Adébáyọ̀ uses this book to consider the pressures that people face to become parents, and the lengths some might go to both have and protect their families. Yejide gets into some extremely difficult situations because of both external and internal pressures to have a child with the man she loves, who has taken a second wife at the behest of his family. Meanwhile, Yejide, whose own mother died giving birth to her, continues to navigate her own struggles with ideas of motherhood and family.
Through Yejide and her husband Akin, Adébáyọ̀ highlights the unique ways in which unfulfilled (and fulfilled) desires to have children can shape a marriage. And behind all of these complicated dynamics is the tumultuous political landscape of ‘80s-‘90s Nigeria. I loved seeing the development of both Yejide and Akin, and how they both worked through their desires for children (and justified their choices). Sometimes dual-POV books are tough to pull off, but I think this one was quite well done.
This is a great book for those looking for a domestic fiction that makes you think and keeps you on your toes. It’s an intimate glimpse into the battles we fight to keep the ones we love close.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infertility, Grief, and Pregnancy
snapshotsofabookishlass's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death and Infertility
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Grief, and Death of parent
vedpears's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Loved this book. The story sucked me in right away and made me tear up and/or cry a few times. As a mother, there were certain plot points that struck very deeply.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Terminal illness, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Police brutality, Death of parent, Murder, and War
Minor: Bullying, Gun violence, and Mass/school shootings
katharina90's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.0
A strong debut with lots to unpack, especially patriarchal and familial expectations around having kids and how damaging that is for couples struggling with infertility.
I didn't find the characters very likable but my heart still broke for them.
The audiobook is narrated well and helped transport me to Nigeria where the story takes place.
I didn't find the characters very likable but my heart still broke for them.
The audiobook is narrated well and helped transport me to Nigeria where the story takes place.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child death, Gun violence, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexism, and Grief
Minor: Sexual content
vanesst's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Grief, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Gun violence, Blood, Abandonment, and Alcohol
maggiefaye's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual content, Grief, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Death of parent
mai_books_nature's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Grief, and Death of parent
davidbythebay's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Absolutely brilliant! A lovely and devastating book that looks at a marriage from the 1980s through 2008, all with the background of Nigeria and its political turmoil.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
Moderate: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infidelity, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Alcohol
nadia's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I really enjoyed this one! There were many different facets to it and it's a story richer and more complex than it may seem at first glance, and I’m always appreciative of books set in Nigeria and featuring Nigerian culture, traditions, and customs.
I was hoping to love it even more but I didn't fully connect with the characters and some of their actions and I wasn't as emotionally impacted as I thought I would be.
It's definitely one to check out if the themes of motherhood, family, marriage, and what it means to love are some of your favourites!
I was hoping to love it even more but I didn't fully connect with the characters and some of their actions and I wasn't as emotionally impacted as I thought I would be.
It's definitely one to check out if the themes of motherhood, family, marriage, and what it means to love are some of your favourites!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Infertility, Infidelity, Violence, and Grief