Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw

23 reviews

mraddd's review against another edition

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, and Religious bigotry

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Homophobia, Death of parent, and Lesbophobia

Minor: Drug abuse, Racial slurs, and Racism

kimveach's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

This book is about sexual relationships, not just the kind most Christian churches would like you to have. The writing was excellent, and you got to know these characters despite the short stories.

The narration was good, but it could have benefitted from having more than one narrator. While I enjoyed listening to her, it felt like it was just one character telling all the stories, which is not the case.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Dementia, Religious bigotry, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Classism

12bookslisa_read's review against another edition

challenging medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? N/A
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

This book took me totally by surprise.  I was not prepared.  

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Violence

readingwithtrey's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

I’m going to start this review by saying this book will not be for everyone and that’s okay. If you’re not an open-minded reader, you may find yourself offended by some of the things in this book. 

Now to my review, in my humble opinion, this book is a work 👏🏽 of 👏🏽art👏🏽. While I didn’t have any personal shared experiences with each woman, I could appreciate the nods to the culture that I could completely relate to. They include: being in church every Sunday with our moms & grannies and often times aunts, uncles, and cousins. (I was related to almost everyone in the small, country church I attended growing up.) Our grannies always telling us that they’re praying for us (and knowing for certain they actually were) and usually having a feast ready for us whenever we visited. Spending summers outside all day almost every day with our cousins without a care in the world. Getting a new beautiful frilly dress from my grandma each Easter. This book made me nostalgic for that time and made that ache that I still have to see both of my grandmas one more time feel as new as the days that they left us.

There is so much to this book than what’s on the surface level. & I highly recommend it for readers with open hearts and minds. Know that there are a lot of touchy/sensitive subjects. It was funny, incredibly sad, and totally different from anything I’ve read. 

My only complaint is that I need updates on all of these women, especially Jael. Her chapter had me weak.

Favorite quotes:

“We miss their bare brown arms reaching to hang clothes on the line with wooden pins. We miss their Sun tea brewed all day in big jars on the picnic table in the backyard.”

“We miss how they made our Easter dresses and pound cakes and a way out of no way.”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content

Moderate: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Dementia, Grief, Death of parent, and Gaslighting

Minor: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Fatphobia, Gun violence, Infertility, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Violence, Abortion, Pregnancy, Lesbophobia, and Toxic friendship

pollyflorence's review against another edition

emotional reflective fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Dementia, and Death of parent

shieldbearer's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Every story was so well crafted with nuanced characters.  Highly recommended. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Death of parent, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Dementia, Grief, and Lesbophobia

Minor: Cancer, Child death, and Car accident

davidbythebay's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

Greg (Supposedly Fun on BookTube & Instagram) was absolutely right: this is an amazing short story collection! I shy away from short story collections because I never feel they are or of similar caliber to each other usually. Here, however, Philyaw has created an entire universe of Black women who are strong, unapologetically powerful, and asserting how they wish to live their lives. From queer/lesbian or heterosexual perspectives, these nine short stories cover a wide ground of topic areas and perspectives. And I'm living for it all! Absolutely amazing! 

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Content Warnings

Minor: Addiction, Child abuse, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, and Alcohol

libraryghost's review against another edition

emotional reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Racism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Religious bigotry

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Death, Misogyny, and Lesbophobia

Minor: Abortion

charlottejones952's review against another edition

adventurous funny lighthearted fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

 

I’d heard a few great things about this short story collection so after two months of barely reading anything, I thought I’d give it a go. I was so surprised with how much I enjoyed it!

Deesha Philyaw has a writing style that completely sucks you into each short story from the first few lines. With subtle connections between of the stories and their characters, each one was unique and discussed the personal lives of black women in a particular parish. I loved the discussions of race, family and sisterhood, as well as misogyny and sexuality. With both straight and queer female characters throughout, it felt like a very inclusive read for a book that is under 200 pages.

As this is a short story collection, there are some stories that I felt worked better than others but overall I would highly recommend it, particularly on audiobook. I will definitely check out any future works by this author.

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Content Warnings

Minor: Homophobia, Rape, Toxic relationship, and Sexual harassment

hollyd19's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a collection of short stories that spotlights Black women of various ages as they push against prescribed narratives & wrestle with purpose, sexuality, and worth. One endorsement described the collection as “cheeky and insightful” and I second that. I can’t say every story was for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed How to Make Love to a Physicist, Peach Cobbler, Snowfall, and Instructions for Married Christian Men. The stories are rich, artistically diverse, and deeply human. 

I was surprised (perhaps I shouldn’t have been, given the word ‘secrets’ in the title) by how heavily sex factored in nearly all the stories. It was never gratuitous or explicit, but it did play a much larger role than I had expected. Additionally, I had the impression that the collection would be more... fun? Honestly, for the most part I found it fairly bleak. That’s not to say it wasn’t tender and at times funny, but most stories left me feeling rather melancholy. Each woman featured faces some significant strain — emotionally, relationally, etc — and I would have loved at least one story to be robustly joyful (the closest is How To Make Love to a Physicist). Finally, there is ample mention of church life & culture, but I wouldn’t define any of the protagonists as “church ladies.” They are all church-lady-adjacent, but perhaps that was Philyaw’s chosen device: a window into the lives of church ladies from those who are in some way outside the fold.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Chronic illness, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Dementia, and Grief

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Mental illness, Racism, Sexual content, and Violence

Minor: Murder