Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - More Than You'll Ever Know

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More Than You'll Ever Know by Katie Gutierrez

9 reviews

bookish2024's review against another edition

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emotional mysterious medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

The audiobook is incredible!

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just_one_more_paige's review against another edition

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emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I was looking to mix things up a little bit with my reading... This has been kind of a strange year for me, as far as reading moods go. I've been learning light and magical, but throwing in some heavy nonfiction, and all of a sudden, I just wanted something totally different. So, I grabbed this sort of mystery/thriller. It seemed like it would fit the bill of "outside my normal genre," but with an interesting and unique kind of twist (a woman leading a double life), and with a scary-level that didn't seem like it would keep me up all night (a low bar, tbh). And it turned out I was very right.

Cassie Bowman is trying to get her writing career off the ground, scouring the internet for ever more unbelievable true crime stories and that she is nominally paid to blog about. During a search one day, she stumbles on an article about Lore Rivera, who was married to two men at once (one in Texas, one in Mexico City), until she was found out and one of her husband's shot and killed the other. Cassie cannot get Lore out of her mind: How did she balance both lives? What was the weight of the secrets and lies? Why did she do it? So, Cassie reaches out. She suggests to Lore than she'll write a book about her experience, but do it from her perspective, so that Lore can tell her own story, in her own way. To her surprise, Lore agrees. And as Lore's history unfolds for cassie in their nightly calls, Cassie finds herself opening up to Lore in ways that she never has with anyone before. And together they reckon with their pasts and find it in themselves to finally face their truths.

Like I said, I was right. This had just enough mystery/thriller tension and secrets and a few final twists to keep me flipping pages to see where things would go, but not so much that it ever felt breakneck. And, it kept the plot moving and interesting while never sacrificing the development of the characters, especially Cassie and Lore. Because oh my goodness, I loved their development as it unfolded alongside the "true crime" aspects. How the characters each got to that point of drama and loss at the end, through all the tiny decisions and big decisions and avoidance of truths and pretending things are different and not knowing what to do and knowing it will end with pain but moving forwards anyways... They were so real - fully dimensional in ways that were messy and nuanced and real. It was great to see them "allowed" to be whoever they were, in all their complexities and soft spots and flaws; to own their darker parts and still be worthy of redemption and success, to deserve consideration and to tell their stories for themselves.

For Cassie, confronting her past, her memories and guilt over the decisions she made, allowed her to accept herself, and show who she really was to the people closest to her (finally), without secrets or holding back. And though I truly loathed some of the victim blaming when it happened (that is *exactly* why no one feels safe/able to talk about what’s happening to them), it does reflect reality. And the way things worked out after that felt like the "right" ending: cutting free in some places, with unclear futures in other places, but with much less suppression and compromise for Cassie herself. So, I felt better about it. For Lore, oh what a phenomenal commentary on how womanhood can be, IS, more than just motherhood. And that should be, IS, ok. While in retrospect one can see the slippery slope of her decisions and how they led to such a tragic outcome (she definitely allowed herself a few blind spots), and watching the unfolding of this story as the tension rises to a crescendo and starts to break was super stressful, there is also a clear message about how empathy - and different societal norms - may have prevented the need she felt for such dramatic choices.

Truly, I loved the way this book examined how love can encompass so much more than the typical socially acceptable patterns/expectations. And past that, how that expansion can allow a person to expand and explore (parts of) themselves in one life that they couldn’t find space for in another life. I found this read to be much more emotional than I had expected, to a level that really surprised me. I think Cassie and Lore, separately and in relation to each other, really did that. But then, the family dynamics as well, all of them, were so good. Not always happy/positive, but so well written. And that, in combination with a final twist that I really didn't see coming until right before it happened, made this a much deeper and more compelling read than anticipated.

“What happens when two people, for one night, close a great distance, and want to do it again?”

“The thing about a spontaneous act, is that the consequences are long lasting.”

“Because people aren’t just murdered in moments; they're murdered in all the moments leading up to that final act. That's what makes true crom so addictive. Godlike, you're allowed to see the intricate chain of events leading to the end of someone's life. You realize that everything you do, every decision you make, might bring you, too, closer to the abyss. Briefly, your own life feels precious.”

"It was a different kind of yearning. A nameless suspicion that there was more to herself than she'd ever accessed, and only by falling in love could she discover it, for only then do we become new to ourselves again.”

"That perhaps not every affair is about lack in the primary relationship; perhaps some are about a complement. Perhaps multiple relationships can illuminate different parts of the self, like a prism turned first this way, then that, toward the light. Perhaps to love and allow love from only one person at a time is to trap the self into a single, frozen version, and it's this that makes us look elsewhere."

“But that was all of us, wasn't it? Facades upon facades, only some were more damaging to believe than others.”

“We should be able to stop ourselves from destroying the people we love. Love itself should not be a destructive force. But I'd been reading true crime all my life: love was the most destructive force.”

“Truth is a malleable thing.”

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