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nad_books623's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Wow this was a raw story that a lot of people in the lgbtq+ community can relate to while reading. The mother was so annoying and hypocritical. The whole time that she was reflecting towards the end of the book with the nursing home and her inner homophobia we never got to see her challenge her hypocrisy. Which, I guess makes the story more raw in a sense but still would be interested to see. I did like the stories comment on being elderly and what happens in society when someone no longer has a purpose.The scene when the reporters came to interview Jen was a good moment that showed how she was seen as disposable since she could not give what they wanted from her. Another moment in the book was towards the end when Jen is in the last nursing home and how the carer says they're all just going to die there always. I think this book also discusses well how care taking is a commodity in society and that due to capitalism people who need care do not get the proper care they need.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Chronic illness, Death, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Dementia, Grief, Medical trauma, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Classism
Moderate: Physical abuse
Minor: Excrement and Vomit
theliteraryteapot's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Whilst not an easy read (especially as a bi woman) because the story is told through the pov of a homophobic mother, I'm glad I read this book. This short novel has a certain ambition, trying to examine several aspects of society. Homophobia, heteronormativity, ageism, poverty/low-paid job, loneliness, generational trauma (particularly passed on from mother to daughter), traditionalist society, the treatment of patients in a retirement home, ...
Maybe not perfect, this book still is quite significant, an important read. This story may feel like it's been done before but to me, growing up in a rural environment with homophobic family members, this is sadly a little too relatable (even down to the care assitant job).
Maybe not perfect, this book still is quite significant, an important read. This story may feel like it's been done before but to me, growing up in a rural environment with homophobic family members, this is sadly a little too relatable (even down to the care assitant job).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Body horror, Death, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexism, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Classism
jesshindes's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I read this for book group and found it super interesting. The protagonist/narrator is a middle-aged woman who works in a care home, looking after Jen, who used to be a well-known activist and is now suffering with dementia. As the book opens, the narrator's daughter, Green, who is precariously employed as a university lecturer (holler to all my traumatised PhD friends), is asking her for financial help; in the end, this takes the shape of a place to stay. Green moves into the narrator's house, and so does her girlfriend Lane. This is a big problem for the narrator, who's clinging to the homophobic belief that the relationship (which has lasted several years) is just a bit of youthful foolishness; that her daughter will settle down in the right way, with a man, and have a family.
I hadn't read anything with a protagonist quite like this before. In lots of ways, the narrator is unsympathetic. She doesn't try very hard to understand Green's perspective; she chooses, repeatedly, to be rude to Lane (who is both kind and understanding, more so than the narrator deserves). She invalidates and questions her daughter's life - her job, her relationship - again and again. "If your relationship was legitimate, you'd be able to get married," she tells Green, clinging to the authority of a society that Kim shows elsewhere to be manifestly unjust: in its treatment of insecurely employed lecturers like Green, of LGBTQ+ people, of the elderly in the care home where the narrator works. I thought that in particular was realistic; that someone very much screwed over by the system might cling to its authority even more tightly.
Despite all of this, Kim also shows us the beginnings of a more complicated understanding. This manifests initially at work. The narrator isn't able to treat Jen in the way that her manager instructs her to. She can't stop caring about or for her. She tries to find her family, or an equivalent of family; because she believes, very strongly, in the obligations of children and parents to one another (which is why she takes Green into her house despite her reluctance). Within all of this is an understanding that Jen's life has been lived outside normal social bounds. She wasn't married, didn't have children. And still the narrator can't bring herself to throw her away. This, and the escalating crisis at Green's university, start to shake the narrator's belief system just a little.
The book doesn't resolve neatly, with the narrator seeing the light. She's still very limited in the degree to which she's willing to accept Green and Lane. But things do begin - have begun - to change, which feels maybe more realistic. As I said, I hadn't read anything quite like this before. It was knotty, problematic. But I enjoyed it.
I hadn't read anything with a protagonist quite like this before. In lots of ways, the narrator is unsympathetic. She doesn't try very hard to understand Green's perspective; she chooses, repeatedly, to be rude to Lane (who is both kind and understanding, more so than the narrator deserves). She invalidates and questions her daughter's life - her job, her relationship - again and again. "If your relationship was legitimate, you'd be able to get married," she tells Green, clinging to the authority of a society that Kim shows elsewhere to be manifestly unjust: in its treatment of insecurely employed lecturers like Green, of LGBTQ+ people, of the elderly in the care home where the narrator works. I thought that in particular was realistic; that someone very much screwed over by the system might cling to its authority even more tightly.
Despite all of this, Kim also shows us the beginnings of a more complicated understanding. This manifests initially at work. The narrator isn't able to treat Jen in the way that her manager instructs her to. She can't stop caring about or for her. She tries to find her family, or an equivalent of family; because she believes, very strongly, in the obligations of children and parents to one another (which is why she takes Green into her house despite her reluctance). Within all of this is an understanding that Jen's life has been lived outside normal social bounds. She wasn't married, didn't have children. And still the narrator can't bring herself to throw her away. This, and the escalating crisis at Green's university, start to shake the narrator's belief system just a little.
The book doesn't resolve neatly, with the narrator seeing the light. She's still very limited in the degree to which she's willing to accept Green and Lane. But things do begin - have begun - to change, which feels maybe more realistic. As I said, I hadn't read anything quite like this before. It was knotty, problematic. But I enjoyed it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia
Moderate: Ableism
joshuahc's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia
Moderate: Excrement
Minor: Ableism
typethewriter's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism and Homophobia
michaelion's review
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
A perfect book for socialist baby lesbians in crisis. No I will not elaborate!
This one hits a lil too close to home for me because I too currently work in healthcare with a woman who has memory loss and I too am gay and have a girlfriend and I too do not like my roommate and I also do not have children. I am all of these characters. So extra points for being relevant to me and the life I currently live but who knows how I'll feel about it next year. I like the way the emotions are expressed. Even though it's a translation of a language I don't know I feel they did the original justice.
This one hits a lil too close to home for me because I too currently work in healthcare with a woman who has memory loss and I too am gay and have a girlfriend and I too do not like my roommate and I also do not have children. I am all of these characters. So extra points for being relevant to me and the life I currently live but who knows how I'll feel about it next year. I like the way the emotions are expressed. Even though it's a translation of a language I don't know I feel they did the original justice.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Ableism, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Violence, Medical content, Grief, and Injury/Injury detail
I tagged ableism although it's more like ageism. But in this case it's one and the same.milesjmoran's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Sexism, Terminal illness, Police brutality, Grief, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Excrement and Vomit
leanneymu's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
A really compelling read, all about cultural homogeny, LGBTQ+ visability, and trans-generational trauma in modern day south Korea. Kim Hye-Jin is excellent at making us understand how the narrator's upbringing and culture have shaped her views, and even though she isn't completely enlightened by the end of the novel, it feels like she's moving towards a place where she can be happy for her daughter and her daughter's partner. In that way, it felt very real and grounded - people can change, but it takes time, and Kim Hye-Jin understands this perfectly.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Violence, and Lesbophobia
anni_skz's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Ableism
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