lillucys's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Concerning My Daughter by Kim Hye-Jin is a story told from the prospective of the unnamed mother. Her daughter, Green, and her girlfriend, Lane, move in with her as she struggles to understand their non-traditional life compared to that which she had with her late husband. She voices her fears that without a husband or children, her daughter will one day end up alone, just as the woman who she is the carer of, living with dementia, is.
It is a interesting and complex character story of a mother and daughter and their struggles to understand each other across the generational divide.
It is a interesting and complex character story of a mother and daughter and their struggles to understand each other across the generational divide.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dementia
Moderate: Death, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Forced institutionalization
Minor: Excrement and Vomit
breadbummer's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Being queer, this book makes me wonder how my parents really view my queerness considering how they still talk to members of my family about my girlfriend being my friend; are they trying to protect me, or are they worried about how it will reflect on them? It was a very painful read in this way, but I did enjoy seeing the mother's way of caring for the elderly patients and was heartened (in a way?) by her . This also hit me pretty hard, as it reminded me think about how the people at my grandma's nursing home could have possibly treated her the way they did.
On another note, I don't really know how I feel about the ending...it seemed like it was at the right point to stop but, at the same time, felt very abrupt and indefinite.
The book, itself, I think is a great example for how to take on the perspective of a multifaceted character, but the story itself was rather bleak and just alright, I guess.
Spoiler
ultimately losing her job because she refused to take part in elder abuseOn another note, I don't really know how I feel about the ending...it seemed like it was at the right point to stop but, at the same time, felt very abrupt and indefinite.
The book, itself, I think is a great example for how to take on the perspective of a multifaceted character, but the story itself was rather bleak and just alright, I guess.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness, Dementia, Lesbophobia, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, Hate crime, and Death
Moderate: Sexism, Police brutality, and Grief
Minor: Medical content, Sexual content, Excrement, and Murder
There was one small section of the book that made my stomach drop. While it wasn't a detailed description of killing one's own child, the mother more or less sympathizes with people who have killed their children for not being the way they wanted them to be (in this case, the mother wants her daughter to be "normal" and not a lesbian). She mentions that if her husband was still alive and had found out about it, he would have killed their daughter.catandherbooks's review against another edition
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
A moving story about motherhood and love. About the bonds that unite us as much as the things that keep us about from one another.
Sometimes all you can do is keep going, even if there are issues that you can't work out just yet.
Sometimes all you can do is keep going, even if there are issues that you can't work out just yet.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Violence
Minor: Death
yasmin_raev's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Medical content, Violence, Homophobia, Dementia, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Domestic abuse
drinkthefloor's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
i am emotionally floored. this hyper realistic novel, told through stream of consciousness presents issues of intergenerational conflict, aging, and what makes a family in a stark narrative which delivers the strongest emotional whiplash. probably the most meaningful book i’ve read in a while.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Lesbophobia, Dementia, Forced institutionalization, Homophobia, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Hate crime, Vomit, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Physical abuse, Police brutality, Injury/Injury detail, and Medical trauma
michaelion's review
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
A perfect book for socialist baby lesbians in crisis. No I will not elaborate!
This one hits a lil too close to home for me because I too currently work in healthcare with a woman who has memory loss and I too am gay and have a girlfriend and I too do not like my roommate and I also do not have children. I am all of these characters. So extra points for being relevant to me and the life I currently live but who knows how I'll feel about it next year. I like the way the emotions are expressed. Even though it's a translation of a language I don't know I feel they did the original justice.
This one hits a lil too close to home for me because I too currently work in healthcare with a woman who has memory loss and I too am gay and have a girlfriend and I too do not like my roommate and I also do not have children. I am all of these characters. So extra points for being relevant to me and the life I currently live but who knows how I'll feel about it next year. I like the way the emotions are expressed. Even though it's a translation of a language I don't know I feel they did the original justice.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Ableism, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Grief, Medical content, Injury/Injury detail, and Violence
I tagged ableism although it's more like ageism. But in this case it's one and the same.m4rtt4's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
My grandma should read this.
This book really evoked emotions in me, so much so that I had to rate it 'challenging' because the main character's stubborn homophobia really irked me at times. The story is sad, yet very realistic, and it feels so surreal that this kind of (institutional) discrimination is rather mild when compared globally, as homosexuality is already legal in South Korea.
I think the narrative of a homophobic mother was a great idea, as it forces the reader to step in her shoes — not that it made me understand her, but I couldn't dismiss her feelings either as she wasn't just a one-dimensional hater. It also showed how some people deem themselves as good people: despite the mother actively helping the sick and elderly, she couldn't give her own daughter the same treatment just because she was a lesbian.
This book really evoked emotions in me, so much so that I had to rate it 'challenging' because the main character's stubborn homophobia really irked me at times. The story is sad, yet very realistic, and it feels so surreal that this kind of (institutional) discrimination is rather mild when compared globally, as homosexuality is already legal in South Korea.
I think the narrative of a homophobic mother was a great idea, as it forces the reader to step in her shoes — not that it made me understand her, but I couldn't dismiss her feelings either as she wasn't just a one-dimensional hater. It also showed how some people deem themselves as good people: despite the mother actively helping the sick and elderly, she couldn't give her own daughter the same treatment just because she was a lesbian.
Spoiler
I still wanted her to have more character development than just going from disgust to tolerance — she still couldn't quite accept the situation in the end, but it does go well with the sad reality, though...
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Dementia, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Lesbophobia, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Violence and Death
angryglitterwitch's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This absolutely ripped my heart out in just 150 pages - first book that's made me cry in 2023 👌
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma and Medical content
Moderate: Terminal illness, Violence, Homophobia, Hate crime, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Forced institutionalization
thewordsdevourer's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
3.0
concerning my daughter is a reflective read that ruminates on the status quo and life & death, all seen thru a very rare pov of an elderly woman who works as carer and whose daughter is lesbian in south korea's very conservative ans homophobic society.
it makes for some provocative questions esp abt challenging the 'way of the world,' as the narrator puts it: wouldnt it be easier to live w/ one's head down and do whats necessary to ensure a dignified future esp in old age? it's a question that the titular mother and daughter wrestle w/ all thruout the book, compounded by the former's struggle to comprehend the latter's homosexuality.
though the book can be painfully slow at certain points and i find the characters frustrating a lot of the time, it cant be denied that theyre written well are are fleshed out, w/ major props to kim's ability to articulate the narrator's homophobic reasoning and logic, and her gradual change thats realistic. this book made me think a lot and it provided some very uncomfortable questions and thoughts that few def would want to think abt, but nevertheless necessary.
it makes for some provocative questions esp abt challenging the 'way of the world,' as the narrator puts it: wouldnt it be easier to live w/ one's head down and do whats necessary to ensure a dignified future esp in old age? it's a question that the titular mother and daughter wrestle w/ all thruout the book, compounded by the former's struggle to comprehend the latter's homosexuality.
though the book can be painfully slow at certain points and i find the characters frustrating a lot of the time, it cant be denied that theyre written well are are fleshed out, w/ major props to kim's ability to articulate the narrator's homophobic reasoning and logic, and her gradual change thats realistic. this book made me think a lot and it provided some very uncomfortable questions and thoughts that few def would want to think abt, but nevertheless necessary.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Lesbophobia
Minor: Excrement, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Injury/Injury detail, and Death
agateg's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
“The expectations and ambitions, possibilities and hopes concerning my daughter - they still remain and torment me no matter how hard I work to get rid of them.”
The story follows an ageing woman whose 30-something-year-old daughter moves back home with her girlfriend. Now the woman has to face the realities of growing old, having a homosexual daughter and navigating the cultural and societal norms that she has been brought up with.
The story was very intricately portrayed. I loved how detailed and descriptive the writing style, made the story feel more raw and powerful. I this quite accurately would portray my grandparent’s outlook on life. I will definitely be checking out other stories by Kim Hyejin.
The story follows an ageing woman whose 30-something-year-old daughter moves back home with her girlfriend. Now the woman has to face the realities of growing old, having a homosexual daughter and navigating the cultural and societal norms that she has been brought up with.
The story was very intricately portrayed. I loved how detailed and descriptive the writing style, made the story feel more raw and powerful. I this quite accurately would portray my grandparent’s outlook on life. I will definitely be checking out other stories by Kim Hyejin.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dementia, Violence, and Homophobia
Moderate: Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, and Excrement