Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The Bread the Devil Knead by Lisa Allen-Agostini

47 reviews

abbie_'s review

dark emotional sad medium-paced

4.25

I’ve read quite a few books this year that focus on domestic violence towards women and girls (Tomorrow I Become a Woman, Too Much Lip, How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House) and of these I think The Bread the Devil Knead is the one best written. You can’t really say ‘favourite’ with such harrowing reads, but of the books tackling these topics I’ve read lately, Allen-Agostini has penned the most memorable.

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Written entirely in Trinidadian Creole, the book is narrated by Alethea, a 40-year-old manager of a clothing boutique who usually fends off friendships from other women. Her live-in boyfriend Leo beats her regularly, and Allie is fiercely determined to keep her affairs private. But when a woman is murdered by her lover in front of Allie’s shop and a chance encounter reunites her with her adopted brother, Allie is forced to reassess her life.

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Allen-Agostini makes use of past and present chapters so we get a well-rounded view of all the events that have shaped Allie’s life. And please be warned that these events are some of the toughest you will read about - childhood r*pe, inc*st, physical abuse. Allie’s voice is so distinct and enjoyable (not in content!!) to read that you cannot help but root for her. I loved that after years of not allowing anyone into her interior life, she starts to open up to female friendships. Her relationship with her brother Colin was also a welcome relief from the trauma of her life.

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I think it’s obvious that the author is also a stand-up comedian, because despite the heaviness of the content, there’s a lightness to it through Allie’s humour. The ending is also incredibly cathartic, so although I’d recommend this one with caution, just know that there is some hope at the end!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Child death, Rape, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Murder, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Incest, and Gun violence

vera_cologne's review

challenging medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

That was a hard read. I definitely recommend checking the content warnings. I am glad that I read it though, it was very intense and gripping. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual violence, Rape, Gun violence, Xenophobia, Domestic abuse, Incest, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Violence, and Miscarriage

sidekicksam's review against another edition

Written almost entirely in Trinidadian Creole, this book follows the life of Alethea, known to some also as Miss Allie or Girlie. About to turn 40, she is in a relationship with a violent man, but comes before the choice of where she wants to go with her life. As we go deeper into the story, more troubling secrets from her past become unveiled, but how will she deal with them? 

I don't want to waste too many words on this review because I'm having a hard time finding the right ones to describe how amazed, inspired and surprised I was about this book. Exploring themes of domestic abuse, generational trauma, colonialism, colorism and friendship, Allen-Agostini writes beautifully and engagingly. She could've written the story over 1.000 pages and I still would have wanted more, but that made it all the more amazing that she did it in less than 250 and it still made me feel so engrossed in the main character and her story. 

Highly recommend. Go read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexism, Sexual content, Infertility, Emotional abuse, Rape, Death of parent, Death, Racism, Sexual violence, Infidelity, Violence, Toxic relationship, Pregnancy, Child abuse, Gun violence, Grief, Alcohol, and Incest

gobby_gilbert's review

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Grief, Death of parent, Abortion, Sexual violence, Physical abuse, Miscarriage, Mental illness, Gun violence, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Incest, Sexual assault, Rape, Racism, Pregnancy, Pedophilia, Domestic abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Gaslighting, Death, and Classism

samants's review

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Phenomenal. The dialect is lyrical, and I enjoyed the challenge of reading something not written for me. The book is a portrait of abuse and therefore heavy and dark, but also stunning, and I adored the main character. The ending is wide open, and I love it.

Do mind the content warnings -- they are real and graphic.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pedophilia, Emotional abuse, Incest, Physical abuse, Infidelity, Rape, Violence, Toxic relationship, Gun violence, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Sexual harassment

paochavezgt's review

dark emotional sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

Be careful if you choose to read this book. It can be very triggering. It is heart wrenching. 

This was an excruciating read. I feel physically and emotionally ill. By all means I understand how powerful her writing and storytelling is. There are certain topics and storylines I'm simply not able to digest properly. The dread that i feel for Ali is uncanny, I hope she gets to surround herself with kind women, from this point forward. Although, I do question wether a victim of abuse would still enjoy certain things from their abuser, I believe reading this experience as hard as it is, gives a voice to survivors. Not a feminist voice, if I might say.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Incest, Sexual assault, and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Violence, and Xenophobia

signeskov's review

dark emotional

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

What a beautiful book and authentic voice. I wish the author had explored the relationship between Ma, Mammie, and Alethea a little more in depth in order to make the reader truly understand the trauma that Aletha had gone through and what had made her who she is as her 39-year-old self. Otherwise, this was a truly enjoyable, though troubling, read! 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence, Domestic abuse, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Gun violence, and Sexual assault

marthaos's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I really enjoyed this book, which though it tackled some very dark issues, did so with a lightness of touch that made it very readable. It is told in Trinidadian Creole which greatly enhanced the storytelling bringing characters and setting to life.

It tells the story of Alathea, manager of a clothing store, who is regularly beaten and abused by her “lover” Leo. Alathea, who comes across as a strong, independent woman, nonetheless just seems to accept this as part of her lot, and as the book unfolds, we learn how these patterns of abuse originated in her childhood and seemed to perpetuate into her adult years, despite running away, despite finding new lovers….

Leo, who can oscillate between doling out horribly cruel beatings and violent sex, and displaying tender and kind love, is extremely unpredictable and we learn in the story how Alathea fears him, dreads going home, yet just seems to accept it. When colleague Tamika sees some of her bruises and learns what she is putting up with, it sets the story in motion, putting pressure on Alathea to question why this is acceptable. Is there another way?

As the story unfolds, we learn a lot about Alathea’s childhood through her brother, Carl, who later became a priest. Alathea had always enjoyed a close relationship with him until she cut off all ties when she ran from home. Carl is now eager to rebuild this relationship and to help Alathea claim her life back. 

As events come to a head in the Festival of Flames, we see that there are no winners in such toxic environments. We see that the victim can become so trapped and vulnerable that they see no way out and worst of all they feel so degraded that they feel unworthy of anything different.

Overall this was a very well written book and a well-told story. That such a difficult subject matter could be explored without the storytelling or the voices sinking down with the weight of it showed Agostini’s skill as a writer. Without shying away from the realities of this protagonist’s experience or in any way detracting from the horror of such daily violence and its consequences, she keeps the story moving forward, the dialogue hugely adding to the narrative, sparkling with beautiful Trinidadian idioms, she brings the characters to life and mostly offers a strong message of hope even in the midst of such pain.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Racism, and Sexual violence

joppiereading's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Original and beautiful, a truly heart wrenching exploration of the life of someone who has achieved a lot, but had to come from hell to do so (picking up some distorted habits and thoughts along the way). Some elements were just a little too much for me, but I wasn’t nearly as put off as I would have expected if you had told me about it before. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Incest, Infidelity, Murder, Gun violence, Sexual assault, Violence, Addiction, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Alcohol, Death of parent, Sexism, Sexual harassment, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Infertility, Mental illness, Racism, Sexual content, Rape, and Toxic relationship

leahb88's review

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Wow what an amazing book. Reading the Trinidadian Creole took a moment to get used to, but it added so much! Alethea’s story is heartbreaking but I loved reflecting on her past and watching her grow in the present throughout the book. Highly recommend 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Incest, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Abortion, Sexual content, and Sexual violence

Minor: Alcoholism