kaje_harper's review
4.0
I was really torn in rating this book. It is a worthy sequel to [b:Chaos Magic|2690606|Chaos Magic (Gods and Chaos, #1)|Jay Lygon|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1238014912s/2690606.jpg|2715932] and in this book I felt a better balance between the main characters. I still loved Sam, but I could see the times he messed up, and the effort that Hector was making with him. The secondary characters were a quirky and interesting bunch, and I loved the description of depression, as the grey God of Misery crawling into your lap.
My problem was at the end, so I have to spoiler it.
I've said before that I'm fairly new to the concept of BDSM. However the one thing that I cling to, that makes it work for me, is the concept of “Safe, Sane and Consensual.” Within those bounds, I can understand that one person's pain is another's pleasure. I can see wanting to give over control to someone else, needing to feel safe and valued and to give someone else the right to make choices for you and to enforce obedience to them.
It's not that different from someone joining the military, offering their body and following orders in the belief that their obedience will contribute to something valuable and that the decisions made by their superiors will be wise. Or someone joining a church, allowing a leader to tell them how to worship, with the understanding that they will reach a higher spiritual plane in obedience to another's guidance and will.
The Dom/sub relationship is about a balance of power and a voluntary relinquishing of control. But the key for me is voluntary. That church member can say, “I will stop following your leadership if it forces me to put words in my mouth that hurt children.” The military man can, other than in the heat of battle, say, “I would rather be court-marshaled than drop that bomb on those civilians.” The sub can look their Dom in the eye and say “Red.” A slave can only scream or beg or pray.
To me, taking someone into slavery, selling someone into ownership, is perhaps the most evil act a human can commit. Consent is not a one-time thing. A contract, signed once, is not an acceptable alternative to the right to say “no,” each and every time. True consent is ongoing and continuous and aware.
Giving yourself into slavery? Maybe if suicide is the only alternative, then giving up your right to free will completely is better than being dead. But in no way can I see that as a truly loving relationship and a cause for celebration.
Perhaps the term “slave” is being used differently in BDSM. Perhaps a slave can still say "Red" and walk away. But if so I wish they'd find another damned word for it, because "slave" used for Sam made me feel ill.
Fans of BDSM who are familiar with its ins and outs may not have the problem I had with this book. Certainly it is an absorbing, sometimes emotional, often funny and always entertaining read.
My problem was at the end, so I have to spoiler it.
Spoiler
Hector says to Sam, "You've been collared. Neither man nor magic can remove that collar unless I decide to. As long as you wear that, you are my slave." He does give Sam one chance to back out, but Sam just says "Thank you." And everyone treats this as a good thing. I have no problem with a well-depicted D/s relationship. I have enormous problems with the concept of being a slave, with no way to stop except by Hector's will.I've said before that I'm fairly new to the concept of BDSM. However the one thing that I cling to, that makes it work for me, is the concept of “Safe, Sane and Consensual.” Within those bounds, I can understand that one person's pain is another's pleasure. I can see wanting to give over control to someone else, needing to feel safe and valued and to give someone else the right to make choices for you and to enforce obedience to them.
It's not that different from someone joining the military, offering their body and following orders in the belief that their obedience will contribute to something valuable and that the decisions made by their superiors will be wise. Or someone joining a church, allowing a leader to tell them how to worship, with the understanding that they will reach a higher spiritual plane in obedience to another's guidance and will.
The Dom/sub relationship is about a balance of power and a voluntary relinquishing of control. But the key for me is voluntary. That church member can say, “I will stop following your leadership if it forces me to put words in my mouth that hurt children.” The military man can, other than in the heat of battle, say, “I would rather be court-marshaled than drop that bomb on those civilians.” The sub can look their Dom in the eye and say “Red.” A slave can only scream or beg or pray.
To me, taking someone into slavery, selling someone into ownership, is perhaps the most evil act a human can commit. Consent is not a one-time thing. A contract, signed once, is not an acceptable alternative to the right to say “no,” each and every time. True consent is ongoing and continuous and aware.
Giving yourself into slavery? Maybe if suicide is the only alternative, then giving up your right to free will completely is better than being dead. But in no way can I see that as a truly loving relationship and a cause for celebration.
Perhaps the term “slave” is being used differently in BDSM. Perhaps a slave can still say "Red" and walk away. But if so I wish they'd find another damned word for it, because "slave" used for Sam made me feel ill.
Fans of BDSM who are familiar with its ins and outs may not have the problem I had with this book. Certainly it is an absorbing, sometimes emotional, often funny and always entertaining read.
More...