Reviews

L'insaisissable logique de ma vie by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

scrollsofdragons's review against another edition

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3.0

Update: Still don't like Sam but not as strongly as I disliked her before, though she's still a toxic friend. Fito, he's a sweetheart, I like that cat.

3.5 I don't know whether to wound it up to four or lower it to three. It was much better then the other book I read from him which I changed to a two and a half, rounding up to three but for this one I just can't decide. Goodreads please, I need the half stars, like now. I finally decided on three stars because the more I think about it the more I remember how much Sam was in and she is one of my most hated characters.

This book is a character study of Salvador Silva. A senior who lives with his gay Mexican adopted father and he's always been happy with that but now he's in his last year of school which comes with it's own difficult changes and then an tragedy strikes his family, and he is no longer sure of who he is and what is coming. It's him dealing with anger, stress, grief, loss, identity, moving on.

The writing. Vast improvement. The short chapters worked. There were longer paragraphs and sentences. Still some short ones but not as annoying as in his other book because they were everywhere in that. Dialogue was written less like a screen play and you could tell who was speaking. There was a little more description but not enough for such a emotional book.

There was one thing I appreciated about this book-no romance in a ya book! I can't tell you how refreshing that is. I came into this book for the father-son relationship and it delivered on that front. I enjoyed every bit of it, honestly it could have gone on and this book is 452 pages long already, yet I didn't want it to end, it wasn't fast paced or anything but I really liked the narration, reading about Sal's life and although it ended perfectly I'm just saying, I don't feel at any point that this was too long.

The best part of the novel was the sense of family, Sal's relationship with his father, and just seeing Sal's life unfold. The worst part was Sam and that there was this dramatic drama going on that was so unrealistic.

Spoiler

What I loved:

Sal's father was just the best. He raised his son with affection and love, and just because they are men that doesn't mean they can't show that, they hang out and they have conversations, even about serious shit and it's the sweetest thing ever. He helps his son's friends out when they need it, he brings them into his circle of affection and can you have a more perfect guy?

Family. His family are present and they are wonderful people. They swear, they cook and love food, they all show affection in their own little ways, they carry out Mexican traditions, they're accepting, they have genuine fun, good times together.

Friendship. In this, I am talking about Fito and Sal. It's hard for Fito to accept things because of his upbringing and his always beating himself up about himself and Sal is always there for him, to remind him that he's awesome, to learn to accept it's okay to receive help when you need it from a friend. And that scene when Fito breaks down after his mom dies, and Sal just holds him, oh man, that scene. When him and Sal are joking, do that one more time and i'll do to you what I did to my brother and he returns with i'm not sure that therapist is working out for you. I laughed at that, it's so something me and my friends would say.

Fito. He grew up in a family of drug addicts/dealers and he's determined to make things his way by his own hand which I admire the hell out of him for. I love how he calls cool people I like that Cat. When he doesn't get it when people are nice to him, when he smiles because Sal's father invited him to dinner, whenever he thinks negative things of himself and beats himself up about it, when he's shocked he got a present from his friends, so heartbreaking.

Sal himself. He is so adorable and easy to like. We are following his thoughts and actions and his life and he always held my interest and he's so precious to read about.


What I didn't like:

Dramatic as hell. This isn't a plot driven book, it's a character driven book, and yes I agree, it's more character then plot but damn, the plot could have been death. First the grandmother is dying of cancer which I knew someone was because the jacket mentions loss and grieving. But then Sam's mother dies in a car accident, and at that point I was like, really that had to happen? Grandmother dying of cancer isn't enough? Now we have to add another death, not to mention that this death led to Sam moving in with them which I did not like, first because I don't like Sam and secondly, I liked the father-son dynamic and I didn't want her coming in to mess with that. Then, only weeks later, what happens? Another death, this time Sal's other friend's mom dies of a drug overdose and I'm over it, just no.
It's not realistic that in the manner of two months, the main characters grandmother is dying, his best friend's mom died in a car accident and his other friend's mom died of a drug overdose. When would that ever happen? It wouldn't even happen in a soap opera. I couldn't get over how unrealistic and dramatic this book was becoming.

Sam. His best friend who appears constantly, like she appears as much as Sal does, and when you hate a character who is always there, it unfortunately means you like the book a little less. But I could not stand her, she is one of the most unpleasant characters ever, I don't know how liked she was.
Point one. She's a toxic friend-Sal frequently says you couldn't tell Sam not to do something and if you told her not too, she'd do it anyway. So she calls him Sally although he hates it. She never lets him decide on anything and he just lets her. He hates being called white boy because he identifies as Mexican like his family which is something really important to him, but guess what, she does it anyway.
Then there was this one situation that made me mad-he has a letter from his mom who died when he was a little kid and when he tells her that he hasn't read it yet because he's not ready she calls him an asshole, she demands to know why he isn't ready, suggests i'll read it to you then like it's your business, tells him oh i just think you're angry at your mom because she died in order for him to open it which how dare she tell him how he's feeling and thinking, then she's like will you tell me what it said when you do? how dare you ask that, what is wrong with this girl, he's mother and his letter, you have no right to it. Then she is the one who gets mad about it and after he promises her he'll let her know what it said because he dosen't know how to say no to her and tells her i'm glad we're friends. Like boy, she is the worst friend ever, how are you not seeing that?
Point Two. She pulls the mom is dead card-You know the deal: My mom is dead, therefore you cannot refuse me what I want. She is always determined things go her way and if don't, then she reminds them her mother is dead and therefore she is owed this. No, I'm sorry your mom is dead, but don't use her death as an excuse to get your way, just don't. It's an insult to your mother, every time you do that.
Point Three. She has no sense of personal space-Fito has journals and the instant she sees them, she goes to read it until Sal stops her but then later, she practically wears Fito down into her reading his personal thoughts, like he doesn't want that but she keeps going on at him until he gives up. He said no, respect his boundaries. It's his personal thoughts, why the fuck would he want you to read them? Don't pressure him because you're a nosy cow.
She does it with Sal too, he like tells her oh I wrote my college essay days ago and instead of saying well congrats, shes like and you didn't let me look at it? like not your business, you should be supporting him, not demanding things of him. Like where does she get off in thinking she is entitled to fucking everything?
Point Four. She's offensive-Calls all girls bitches, for no reason, they haven't even done anything and she calls them that. She calls Sal, her best friend, an emotional anorexic. Also, at the start she never liked Fito so she calls him an schizophrenic dork as a reason for her not liking him. I just, Sam is all shades of wrong. Not only is she saying offensive shit, she's using the offensive comment to insult.
She makes out that addicts cant ever recover, fito's like one day i hoped my mother would be a mom and she goes, that was never going to happen. How could you know that? Just shut up. He's mother dead, at least let him have hoped. My God. There's this one point where she goes dress shopping with the guys, and Fito finally has enough of her trying multiple on and is just like this one and she really likes it, and turns around and goes you are gay, like being gay has nothing to do with having an eye for dresses, okay? okay?
Point Five. Sal has to apologize to her for her slapping him-So a guy almost sexually assaults her and Sal stumbles across her talking to him and he goes on protective mode because his best friend is standing with her almost rapist ex and she turns around and slaps him. Then later, she's like he was apologizing and you shouldn't have interfered, like how the fuck was he supposed to know? she makes him feel bad for protecting her from a guy who almost raped her and she has the nerve to make him apologize? She slapped him. She should be apologizing to him.
Point Six. She asks Sal's father to adopt her. He's letting you live there, you need more really? Like what is the point? By the time the adoption progress goes through, you would be eighteen and it would be void, so like why? Then she calls him dad, he's more then fine with it, but at this point I hate Sam so everything she does is annoying. That's Sal's dad, not yours, piss off.

Stereotypical Shit. Sam is not the only one to do this with her gay/anorexic comments. Sal mentions that one thing about sam was that she didn't throw like a girl. wow, remind me, what does throwing like a girl mean? And then for a gay guy, my dad was pretty straight. Um, gay is a sexual orientation, it's not a personality. And then using Schizophrenic as a personality trait, can we stop that now?
Like I get they are throwaway comments and Sam annoyed me more because she uses an offensive comment in a mean way. Like Sal is just using the offensive comment as an observation which I'm not saying is okay but it's worse when Sam's not only just offensive but is using an offensive comment in an offensive way.

Spoiler

its_ash's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective relaxing medium-paced

4.25

sheabuckley's review against another edition

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5.0

An elegant story of life, grief and love. Sáenz writes beautifully; there is so much poetry in the way he crafts stories. This book had a very similar feel to his Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe; an inquisitive and mature coming of age journey.

joliendelandsheer's review against another edition

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Review first published on my blog The Fictional Reader

DNF at 62%

Before I start with my thoughts on this book, I want to say this: I would still recommend you pick this up. There is a sore lack of diverse and #ownvoices books out there, so I want to support each one being published. This one is no exception. Benjamin Alire Sáenz is also the author of one of my favorite books ever, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. I beg you to pick that one up if you haven’t. The biggest reason I didn’t get along with this book was the writing in this particular one, but that is so subjective. So please, give this a go still. I don’t want my review to scare any readers off.

I was insanely excited to read this book. Like I said, Ari and Dante is one of my favorite books of all time. That book really gripped me, and I was so emotionally attached to both of the characters. Needless to say, I was over the moon when I got approved for this copy.

First, let me start on what I liked about the book.

I liked that this book talks about family. The family dynamics were so beautiful, and it made me smile. Salvador was adopted by his father, a Mexican-American guy. Salvador himself is white, but hates it when people say that because it makes him feel like he’s not actually part of their family. Which of course, he is. I really like how that raises some questions, at least it did for me. How someone can still be strongly immersed in one culture, and identify with it. That culture and ethnicity is not always the same, and how they are validated differently. Salvador’s father is an amazing guy, and I want to hug hum forever. I also liked seeing his extended family, such as his mima. Yet this book also included families that weren’t so good, and in different ways. Some are emotionally distant, and others have left their kids to raise themselves.

I liked that this book wasn’t a romance story, but rather one of self-discovery and friendship. Again, friendships are so important to most people, whether “in real life” (I hate that saying) or online. Sam and Salvador have been friends for years, and that’s a beautiful thing to me, to see how much they care about each other.

I liked the diversity here. Well, I didn’t like it, I loved it. I adored reading about Sal’s mima teaching Sam how to make tortilla’s from scratch. I loved watching Vicente (Sal’s dad) make tacos when he was upset. It’s the routine things of your life that calm you, and I found this truly amazing to read about. Then there is diversity of sexuality in here. Sal’s dad is gay, and so is Fito (one of Sal’s friends). I really enjoyed how it showed how comfortable they are with their sexuality, which unfortunately still isn’t possible for everyone out there today. Yet I also think it is important to show the awful side of being “different”: the rude comments, for example. Unfortunately, most LGBTQIA+ people have to deal with this, and I think Sáenz did a great job adding it to his novel.

Those are all reasons for you to read this book. Which is also why I still recommend it to you. But I have to be honest on my blog, and state the reasons I decided to not finish it.

I didn’t like the writing. The sentences were extremely short, and constantly repeated themselves. Honestly, some sentences consisted of only one or two words. And that choppy writing took me out of the story. I find it hard to relate to a character when this type of writing is used, because it doesn’t feel like I am reading his thoughts? It feels more like Sal is a robot, and I’m reading what he observes. Because the writing was so hard for me to connect to, it also made it harder to connect to the characters. This story is about Sal’s life. It’s not plot driven whatsoever, it’s entirely character-centered. And for me, getting through a character driven book without being attached to anyone is impossible.

I didn’t like some of the things Sal said or did. I had seem some reviewers state that some of the sentences in here were quite problematic and offensive, which made me curious. After all, it’s an #ownvoices book. I do know that diverse books can still be offensive! No one’s experiences are the same after all, and I was wondering how I would think of this book. And I have to agree that some sentences here were problematic. Such as “fr a gay guy, my dad was pretty straight”. What does that even mean? Or “One of the great things about Sam was that she didn’t throw like a girl.” NO, NO, NO. And there was also the moment Sam says that Sal “is not like other guys”, which is basically the male equivalent of “you’re not like all the other girls”. I despise it. And lastly, I don’t like how this dealt with attempted rape and sexual assault at all.

I didn’t like Sam. I know, I just said that I loved the fact this book is centered around friendship. And that’s true. I just don’t think their friendship is entirely healthy? She basically badgered him until he told her everything, even things he didn’t want to talk about. I also feel like Sal’s personality got lost in hers. She was pretty much the only think he talked or thought about. You can be great friends without being so dependent on each other…

It’s safe to say that I personally felt disappointed by this. For all the reasons I mentioned above. Yet I’d still say to give it a go. Not just because I want to treasure diverse and #ownvoices books. But also because this author wrote one of my favorite books ever, and I don’t ever want to forget that.

astridegtvedt's review against another edition

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3.0

I’m sad that I didn’t like it as much as Aristotle and Dante :(( still cute and I love the found family aspects

upsidedown10's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

God this book is good. I think this is my favorite by Sáenz. I loved this book when I first read it in 2017 and I still love it now, but for different reasons. I love these characters so much. I love Salvador and Sam and Fito and Vicente and Mima and all the aunts and uncles. I love that we are allowed to follow along with Salvador and his feelings and his confusion. I love the way the Sáenz shows that there are too many emotions to fit in Salvador's body and so they burst out. I cried for the last hundred pages and I would do it again.

marleer's review against another edition

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4.0

4.75 stars
This book had just the same kind of atmosphere as Aristotle & Dante. It was very sad sometimes, but also so heartwarming and full of love. I loved how friendship and family were portrayed in this book. If you liked Aristotle & Dante, you will definitely not disappointed by this one, because it was just as beautiful.

mimiag's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

mari_c's review against another edition

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slow-paced

3.0