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Reviews tagging 'Self harm'
The Courage to be Disliked: The Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
12 reviews
bdingz's review against another edition
challenging
informative
This book was not what I expected, based on the title and recommendations I’d read. I was very close to giving it a DNF once I read the “deny trauma” bit, but I pushed through. I don’t know that I’m going to live an Adlerian lifestyle or anything, but there are some concepts here that are useful as thought exercises, if nothing else.
Content Warnings
Minor: Mental illness, Self harm, and War
jazmine_b's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
3.0
I listened to the audiobook of this one, and having a dialogue format between philosopher and student did make the listening experience more engaging. However, I felt like the book kept shifting back-and-forth on its focus. Instead of really hammering in the courage to be disliked, some times felt like an adlerian psychology manual.
Content Warnings
Minor: Self harm
experfectionist's review against another edition
I think the dismissal of trauma and self harm as minor or non-existent, meaningless things is harmful and unacceptable in today's age.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Self harm, and Suicide
v_neptune's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Minor: Self harm
saskiahill's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Interesting perspectives on life, and I liked the conversational format.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Self harm and Suicidal thoughts
kelseyr713's review against another edition
slow-paced
1.0
This is actively annoying to read in terms of format/tone in addition to ignoring scientific progress since Adler’s time (trauma not only exists, but effects the PHYSICAL BRAIN and your genes!). Adler lived from 1870-1937 and while he may be interesting from a historical point of view, the pillars of his psychology ideas simply do not hold up in 2023.
I appreciated some ideas discussed (the importance of community, living in the now), but you do not have to get them from this book.
If I wasn’t reading this for a book club, I would have put it in the DNF pile.
I appreciated some ideas discussed (the importance of community, living in the now), but you do not have to get them from this book.
If I wasn’t reading this for a book club, I would have put it in the DNF pile.
Content Warnings
Minor: Self harm
libraryoflanelle's review against another edition
3.5
Approach this book with caution. There are many concepts that are harmful including: mention of denying trauma, a harmful approach to looking at abuse through a lense that feels a bit self-gas-light-y and similar mistreatment of reasoning behind self harm. That being said, this book contained some gems of wisdom and some much needed reminders. If you are the kind of person that is able to take what you find helpful from teaching and leave the rest then it’s for sure worth a read.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Self harm, and Gaslighting
_kael_'s review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
4.25
Genres: self-help/personal development, philosophy, psychology, Adlerian psychology (Alfred Adler)
Thoughts: Packed with information cover to cover, which is a lot for an approx. 250-page book for me. A general learning I got from the book is to apply what you've learned in life, even in the smallest, biggest, & most complex problems that you have. Ofc, have nuance on certain things. Some statements are questionable, and I think I can only remember 1-2 that I highly disagree with. One I really had a big emotional reaction to, concluding "attention-seeking" as the only purpose/reason why certain acts are done by people, specifically the youth . Many are new, things you already knew, and things to ponder about. Though some statements contradict themselves, stating trauma doesn't exist but based on their future statements, they imply that it does. Regardless, everything is explained in detail in a way that cliche advice makes more deeper and broader sense, and gives you a deeper understanding, meaning, and realization to that advice. You can read summaries and highlights of this book, but I still suggest you read it entirely to understand those points in depth yourself. It gives a completely different experience. Despite the cons, the pros outweigh it (at about 90%?) that I want to keep the book as a reference book for life advice whenever needed, even if I already took down notes. Would love to discuss about this book though. Loved it from the beginning, still loved it 'til the end. It was also emotional in a way that I remember sad memories. What a roller coaster ride! In order to fully appreciate the book, don't take everything you learn as surefire 100% correct since some claims here don't really mention the source other than who said what. As an amateur, I can still completely claim that some statements aren't accurate like the attention-seeking part. Always filter the advice you get and take the best ones applicable and helpful to you. Maybe even convert unhelpful ones in a way that benefits you.
Writing: I also liked the writing style. I think this is the 3rd self-help book that I've ever read in my entire life, and I prefer this style of writing, Intro > Examples > P's Disclaimers > Y's Q's & Rebuttals > Conclusions, over the paragraph form of mentioning the advice > real life story example > citing specific applicable sources > etc. I can't seem to continue reading such books and I lose interest. I like how this is straight to the point, and the narrative/dialogue format of two people conversing made me engaged in the story and eat up the book daily if I could. The way the chapters start and end remind me of story books. 90 if not 100% of the chapters weren't bland. Though 80-90% of the youth's "replies" for the entire book that don't really add anything to the topics were completely unnecessary. He just repeats the Philosopher's main points in question form, and I think that's what made the book 10% longer. Though there are times that the things P & Y (Philosopher & Youth) were saying are repetitive of their previous points in the chapter, specifically the P. Some conclusions I found unnecessary for I already got the explanation from the chapter intros. Also for someone whose intention is to prove someone wrong, he was quick to change his attitude at the very last chapter.
Happy reading!
Thoughts: Packed with information cover to cover, which is a lot for an approx. 250-page book for me. A general learning I got from the book is to apply what you've learned in life, even in the smallest, biggest, & most complex problems that you have. Ofc, have nuance on certain things. Some statements are questionable, and I think I can only remember 1-2 that I highly disagree with. One I really had a big emotional reaction to, concluding "attention-seeking" as the only purpose/reason why certain acts are done by people, specifically the youth . Many are new, things you already knew, and things to ponder about. Though some statements contradict themselves, stating trauma doesn't exist but based on their future statements, they imply that it does. Regardless, everything is explained in detail in a way that cliche advice makes more deeper and broader sense, and gives you a deeper understanding, meaning, and realization to that advice. You can read summaries and highlights of this book, but I still suggest you read it entirely to understand those points in depth yourself. It gives a completely different experience. Despite the cons, the pros outweigh it (at about 90%?) that I want to keep the book as a reference book for life advice whenever needed, even if I already took down notes. Would love to discuss about this book though. Loved it from the beginning, still loved it 'til the end. It was also emotional in a way that I remember sad memories. What a roller coaster ride! In order to fully appreciate the book, don't take everything you learn as surefire 100% correct since some claims here don't really mention the source other than who said what. As an amateur, I can still completely claim that some statements aren't accurate like the attention-seeking part. Always filter the advice you get and take the best ones applicable and helpful to you. Maybe even convert unhelpful ones in a way that benefits you.
Writing: I also liked the writing style. I think this is the 3rd self-help book that I've ever read in my entire life, and I prefer this style of writing, Intro > Examples > P's Disclaimers > Y's Q's & Rebuttals > Conclusions, over the paragraph form of mentioning the advice > real life story example > citing specific applicable sources > etc. I can't seem to continue reading such books and I lose interest. I like how this is straight to the point, and the narrative/dialogue format of two people conversing made me engaged in the story and eat up the book daily if I could. The way the chapters start and end remind me of story books. 90 if not 100% of the chapters weren't bland. Though 80-90% of the youth's "replies" for the entire book that don't really add anything to the topics were completely unnecessary. He just repeats the Philosopher's main points in question form, and I think that's what made the book 10% longer. Though there are times that the things P & Y (Philosopher & Youth) were saying are repetitive of their previous points in the chapter, specifically the P. Some conclusions I found unnecessary for I already got the explanation from the chapter intros. Also for someone whose intention is to prove someone wrong, he was quick to change his attitude at the very last chapter.
Happy reading!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Death, Mental illness, Self harm, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Medical content, and War
Moderate: Sexism
Minor: Infidelity and Injury/Injury detail
Trauma, Concluding "attention-seeking" as the only purpose/reason why certain acts are done by people, specifically the youthpipn_t's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
1.0
Reading sort of a socratic dialogue was fun, but it was really ableist so I don't recommend.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism
Minor: Self harm
bishopbox's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
medium-paced
1.75
This book could be helpful to somebody. But in general, there is a lot of chalking up mental illness to be "just not wanting to do something." This would be a lot less offensive if it weren't for the fact that the book directly tries to tie it to mental illness. If it were making blanket statements and forgetting that there are some people this doesn't apply to, that would be a completely different thing. But this book gives multiple examples of showcasing mentally ill people.
As other reviewers have pointed out, this book does not discuss Japanese philosophy as advertised, but Alderian philosophy instead.
The only reason I have not rated it lower is that the writing style was actually pretty enjoyable. I liked the format of the book being a discussion between two people. The banter was an enjoyable way to present this story. However, I still would not recommend this book unless you are looking specifically for Adlerian philosophy.
As other reviewers have pointed out, this book does not discuss Japanese philosophy as advertised, but Alderian philosophy instead.
The only reason I have not rated it lower is that the writing style was actually pretty enjoyable. I liked the format of the book being a discussion between two people. The banter was an enjoyable way to present this story. However, I still would not recommend this book unless you are looking specifically for Adlerian philosophy.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Self harm
The ableism present in this book is not described as such but shown by the author's point of view. The author presents multiple ideas that are ableist. It also mentions social anxiety and agoraphobia.