Reviews with content warning for Injury/Injury detail - Lose You to Find Me

If this book was a song, it would be the Rolling Stones, "You can't always get what you want..."

So I will start this off by saying this is not a romance. Despite the synopsis and the strong romantic subplot, I think romance readers would be exceptionally frustrated with this book. I do recommend reading it as a coming of age book instead, and found it very enjoyable from that point of view.

The book follows Tommy (all the names in this book are pretty terrible, in my personal opinion) as he tries to navigate the college admissions process, figure out the rest of his life, and maybe finally get a boyfriend. In typical teenage fashion, he's maybe a bit more concerned with the last one rather than the first two, and generally seems completely overwhelmed by... well, everything.

Tommy has a pretty concrete life plan for himself, and can't imagine himself deviating from it. When he suddenly finds himself working with Gabe, his first crush from when he was 11, and finds out that Gabe's dream school is in the same city as Tommy's dream school, he imagines a future where they realize they're soulmates, fall in love, go to college together, build a life with a dog and three kids, etc. etc. Of course, life has other plans. Throughout the book, Tommy learns that deviating from the set plan can be freeing, not limiting, and that hyper-focusing on one option can make you blind to others that might be better for you. The book also features a great cast of accompanying characters, including residents at the retirement community where Tommy works and the other teenaged employees.

I think this book does a great job of capturing that feeling of overwhelm that accompanies trying to figure out the rest of your life as a young adult. No one has anything perfectly figured out, even when it seems like they do, and it turns out that everyone in the book is kind of a hot mess in the end. I enjoyed it immensely.

More spoilery thoughts ahead -->

I think what makes this book work is the fact that, after Gabe and Tommy both behave pretty horribly, they *don't end up together.* If they had gotten a HEA despite the cheating plot and Gabe being a total asshole it would've been a very different book, and really would not have worked for me. But the fact that Tommy recognizes that Gabe behaved like an asshole and that they both deserved better really went far to redeem things for me. This is the opposite of what happened in [book: The Breakup Lists] and why I enjoyed that book far less despite these two books having very similar themes.

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callidoralblack's review against another edition

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emotional lighthearted

Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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linnea1801's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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fizzy_reads's review against another edition

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emotional funny inspiring lighthearted reflective relaxing medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

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minyoonhwi's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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foleyzac's review against another edition

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emotional funny lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Needed much much much less Gabe and more Brad.

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bookstarbri's review against another edition

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emotional funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

So this is my first read by Erik J. Brown! A lot of friends of mine had read All That's Left in the World and really loved it, so I was interested in this since it's by the same author. I'll definitely be reading All That's Left in the World after reading this, because this was such a nice book with good surprises in it.

First, as many reviews have stated, there are some instances of cheating in this book. However, I think the circumstances around it are important. Especially with how the book ends, it's clear the author didn't put these instances in frivolously. So I disagree with some reviews calling the MC a "homewrecker" especially since they are 17 yr olds and also

the person being cheated on was an adult college student (at least 21 yrs old) who had no business being with a child anyway (there is an important subplot to this and it, thankfully they aren't together by the end, but these details should be noted. That, along with some other behaviors from the bf, as well as some background info on the MC and the LI, there's just a lot going on.

While I don't think these things make the cheating okay by any means, I think context matters a lot.

So, with that being said, the characters ! I loved the MC, Tommy. He was a messy character, but what I felt in all this was that these characters felt so real and authentic, it was kind of wild how well Erik J. Brown was able to capture the woes of being a teenager. That was probably my favorite aspect of this entire book. The teenagers felt like teenagers. Tommy was stupid at times and made really bad decisions, same for Gabe. Sometimes, I wanted to shake Tommy and plead for him to stop this nonsense and attempts on getting someone to like him. But I feel like that's kinda what having an unrequited crush as a teenager feels like? I remember feeling the exact same way as him and I can't applaud the author enough for capturing such complex feelings so authentically. Not only that, but all the characters felt very authentic to me in their motivations and reactions. And I liked that this book will show teenagers there's not one, correct path to take after high school.

This brings me to my next point: the message of this book is beautiful. I truly want to cry just thinking about it. Life doesn't always go how we plan, no matter how hard we plan. And it's so amazing how the author weaved this into the storyline so many different ways. I think it's an extremely important message that any teenager reading this book needs to know. I wish I had this book when I was in high school because I think it would've done wonders for me (it's still done wonders for me as someone in her early twenties).

My main critique for this is that I felt like some scenes/plotlines went on longer than they needed and some should've been longer. Also, I would've liked to have seen more scenes with Brad (for reasons more obvious once you finish the book). He stole every scene he was in and I liked his growth a lot, but I needed like 2 scenes more with him haha. But, those are small gripes. The ending was exactly how I wanted it to be and it made me smile so big. This book is really great and I will be recommending it to many. I'm so happy Erik J. Brown wrote it.

Thank you so much to Balzer + Bray and NetGalley for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

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