Reviews

The Kelping by Jan Stinchcomb

kkehoe's review against another edition

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3.0

A decent, if somewhat unsurprising, tale of mermaid "horror". Well-written, but lacking in any real suspense.

oddly's review against another edition

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3.0

Yet another entry in the Rewind or Die series, this novella follows Dr. Craig Bo as he learns that the cute beach festival he participated in is way more than he bargained for.

I found the narrative a little tangled and confusing, and desperately wished that the main character had been anyone but Craig. Perhaps if the story's perspective had been shared with his wife Penelope, I would have found the story more compelling. Craig's infidelity and self-absorption made him unlikable and you definitely root for his downfall. But I just wish the story hadn't been so much about him, because the other things going on in this little town seemed so much more interesting.

I wanted more background about the mermaid lore—the kelping itself was such a weird idea that I'd never heard of. And what about that mermaid on the top floor of the museum?! I need more of that.

n0rmann's review against another edition

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3.0

A quick read with some decent fun parts.

thomaswjoyce's review against another edition

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3.0

The Kelping makes for a fairly unique take on the monstrous mermaid story, but maybe doesn't go deep enough with the idea, for my personal liking. The main character does start off very unlikeable, and that doesn't change until the very end of the book (and even then he is only slightly more bearable), but the supporting cast are more interesting, especially the MC's wife. It is a pretty good tale, overall.

inciminci's review against another edition

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3.0

Confusing is what this book is…
Dr. Craig is a vain, shallow, self-centered plastic surgeon who lives in the equally vain and shallow seaside town of Beachside with his equally vain and shallow wife Penelope. During their leisure time they like to post pictures on the social media platform Yay Me! or ditch their children to have sex. What he does in his leisure time is to ditch her to have sex with other women, even though he assures she is his absolute “Queen”.
When Craig is chosen the Sea King of Beachside in the annual festival, that’s not only an opportunity for him to boost his prestige, it is also the beginning of a really weird transformation period for him and a chance to see the real nature of his gorgeous wife.
There are so many elements in this book that are promising yet failed to come together in a meaningful way. I appreciate the idea of putting the unlikeable, unrelatable Craig in the focus of a horror story but I ended up not being able to figure out what exactly happened to him and why (I have a guess, though). Penelope’s background and what’s going on in the attic of the history museum are much more interesting than Craig.

lilly_borrell8's review against another edition

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1.0

Just awful

I’ll break this book down into pros and cons

Cons: absolutely 0 explanation of anything
Conversations were clunky at best
The entire book read like a run on sentence

Pro: it was short enough that I was able to finish it before completely wanting to gouge my eyes out

catsluvcoffee's review

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3.0

The Kelping by Jan Stinchcomb is number nine in Unnerving's Rewind or Die series. Those of you expecting a horror-filled flesh-eating mermaid tale might find it a little tame. What's inside these 67 pages is a more insidious tale of mermaids infiltrating a sleepy little seaside town. It starts out quite strong with out-of-towner Nick meeting a beautiful woman on the beach and ends with Nick caught up in a deadly Beachside tradition. Then we meet Dr. Craig Bo.

Bo is a pretty despicable human. From the outside in, he has the perfect life with a beautiful wife and kids but that's not good enough for Dr. Bo. A big donor, a family man, the town's prominent dermatologist, he sees himself as a god, personally responsible for the beauty of the faces around him. He has a dirty little secret though. He's being blackmailed after an indiscretion at the beach one night. Not that it's the first time. He has a long history but it's okay because he never kissed them and it wasn't with minors or men. It was easy to lie to his wife, Penelope because he loved her so much. Gag.

After the Kelping, a tradition where the year's Sea King is crowned and then layered with sea kelp, something bizarre starts happening. He slowly realizes that there's much more to the women of his town and his wife that he ever knew. The kelp starts overtaking his body as he turns into another being—one that craves the sea. And he's the kind of man who gets what he deserves.

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kkehoe's review

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3.0

A decent, if somewhat unsurprising, tale of mermaid "horror". Well-written, but lacking in any real suspense.

leahrosereads's review against another edition

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dark fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Oh, I liked this a lot.  Of the Rewind or Die's I've read, this one isn't as gory, and maybe not even viewed as horrifying (in the beginning)...but that ending! If it wasn't for some convenient monologuing, I think this could've been 5 stars.  It had a lot of things I loved - an unlikeable character, cryptids, and vengeance.  

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errantdreams's review against another edition

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mysterious slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

I love the concept of the “Rewind or Die” series of kind of classic-style horror novels, but the quality seems to vary a lot. I give Jan Stinchcomb’s The Kelping (Rewind or Die) a 3/5.

Craig is a dermatologist creating beautiful faces in the lovely town of Beachside. He’s a shoe-in for the Sea King Festival’s crowning of the Sea King, and his wife Penelope takes getting to be the Sea Queen very seriously. But someone seems to be trying to blackmail him about “that little cutie on the bike path,” and, well, Craig is a serial adulterer. Penelope knows, and seems to forgive him, although she wants him to stop. He’s tried, but he always falls into his old habits. After the Sea King festival, something strange starts to affect him–and he’s afraid it’s going to kill him.

The first half of this book or so was… shallow. Very surface level. I never really felt like I got a handle on any of the characters. Other than Craig, they all had one, maybe two traits, and that was it. Then he meets up with a man named “Dude Pelikan” who info-dumps a massive amount of information on him, and we’re shoved straight down to the depths with no real transition. The latter half of the book is much better and more interesting than the first, despite the massive info-dump on Dude’s part. I think this would have been a lot better as a short story that focused on the second half of the story and didn’t try to include so many unexplained, unfinished ideas (see the spoiler paragraph below for some of the questions I was left with).

SpoilerSPOILER WARNING: There are a bunch of things that never get dealt with. What was with the odd cake Craig found? What was the deal with the “kiss” the mermaid in the attic wanted passed along to him before the festival? What about the small woman who waded into the sea, and why did she waylay Craig? Why did none of this happen to the previous “Sea King”? Was it really the kelp and odd “glaze” that did this to him, or was it that small woman, or was it because he didn’t get the kiss, or was it Penelope’s doing, or was it a combination of some of these things? Why would someone think that attempting to blackmail Craig would be the best way to get to talk to him alone?


This is an interesting book with a clever idea, but it really takes a while to get into the meat of things.