alexblackreads's review
3.0
A caveat to this review: I'm thin. I'm sure that influences how I experienced this book.
I didn't go into this book expecting it to be straight body positivity and all about acceptance. I expected some of that, but mostly I thought it was going to be fat authors discussing their experiences. That is kind of how it was described on the back. It was partially like that, but so much of this book was just actively unpleasant. I was kind of okay to sit through that when it was fat writers discussing their own unpleasant thoughts and experiences, but there were a number of essays by thin authors that were horrible to read.
The standout was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She is a thin woman who once dated a fat man and basically just treated him horribly because of his weight for the entire 40 pages of the essay until they broke up. And then she expressed no remorse and said her friends were full of shit for calling her closed minded. I'd like to give that particularly essay negative stars because it's one of the most vile things I've ever read.
There was also an essay about men who dehumanize and have sex with fat women and talk about how gross it is afterward and another essay written by a therapist who was incredibly fatphobic toward a patient. One essay was by a doctor about gastric bypass surgery and while the information about the surgery was interesting, his personal prejudice was woven throughout it.
But it seemed like a disservice to some of the other authors to rate this book lower than three stars because for every awful essay, there was an interesting one that actually did hold some insights for people's experiences. Some were really lovely to read. Pam Houston's and Donna Jarrell's essays ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" and "Fat Lady Nuding" respectively) were both standouts. They made the book worth it, along with a few others that I found worthwhile.
I honestly picked up this book because I like essays and specifically noticed David Sedaris and Anne Lamott were among the authors, but Sedaris's essay was fine while forgettable. Anne Lamott's was beautiful, as is most her writing, and mostly focuses on her history of eating disorders, but doesn't really have anything to do with fatness.
But I couldn't recommend this book just for the awful essays. They, and Lori Gottlieb specifically who I looked up so I can be sure to never read her again, tainted this whole book for me. Which is disappointing because I do think a number of the essays were worth reading. If you can find Jarrell's or Houston's essays elsewhere, I'd recommend them if nothing else.
I didn't go into this book expecting it to be straight body positivity and all about acceptance. I expected some of that, but mostly I thought it was going to be fat authors discussing their experiences. That is kind of how it was described on the back. It was partially like that, but so much of this book was just actively unpleasant. I was kind of okay to sit through that when it was fat writers discussing their own unpleasant thoughts and experiences, but there were a number of essays by thin authors that were horrible to read.
The standout was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She is a thin woman who once dated a fat man and basically just treated him horribly because of his weight for the entire 40 pages of the essay until they broke up. And then she expressed no remorse and said her friends were full of shit for calling her closed minded. I'd like to give that particularly essay negative stars because it's one of the most vile things I've ever read.
There was also an essay about men who dehumanize and have sex with fat women and talk about how gross it is afterward and another essay written by a therapist who was incredibly fatphobic toward a patient. One essay was by a doctor about gastric bypass surgery and while the information about the surgery was interesting, his personal prejudice was woven throughout it.
But it seemed like a disservice to some of the other authors to rate this book lower than three stars because for every awful essay, there was an interesting one that actually did hold some insights for people's experiences. Some were really lovely to read. Pam Houston's and Donna Jarrell's essays ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" and "Fat Lady Nuding" respectively) were both standouts. They made the book worth it, along with a few others that I found worthwhile.
I honestly picked up this book because I like essays and specifically noticed David Sedaris and Anne Lamott were among the authors, but Sedaris's essay was fine while forgettable. Anne Lamott's was beautiful, as is most her writing, and mostly focuses on her history of eating disorders, but doesn't really have anything to do with fatness.
But I couldn't recommend this book just for the awful essays. They, and Lori Gottlieb specifically who I looked up so I can be sure to never read her again, tainted this whole book for me. Which is disappointing because I do think a number of the essays were worth reading. If you can find Jarrell's or Houston's essays elsewhere, I'd recommend them if nothing else.
melanie_page's review
5.0
Donna Jarrell's and Ira Sukrungruang's anthologies (they also have a fat fiction anthology) have become important to me. Fall of 2013 I taught from the fiction anthology as part of a Contemporary Fiction class. None of my students were even chubby, let alone fat, so the anthology meant little to them--at first. I found that some of them were so thin because they had obsessive parents. One young man's father was obese and constantly trying to work it off. Another your woman's mother was a personal trainer who warned over and over the dangers of eating the "wrong foods" and becoming fat.
However, when I read this nonfiction anthology, I felt a deeper connection because these were real people explaining in words that I often couldn't put together the way they felt about fat. The authors are not all fat or obese; some are quite thin, but write to explain how they feel about seeing or being with fat people.
In "Letting Myself Go," Sallie Tisdale weights about 165 lbs, a weight many fat people would kill to be. She is a frequent dieter. She notes, "The pettiness is never far away; concern with my weight evokes the smallest, meanest parts of me. I look at another woman passing on the street and think, At least I'm not that fat." I myself have had such thoughts, and so Tisdale made me consider how I internalize the bodies of others.
Natalie Kusz writes in "On Being Invisible" that she takes up more space, but is less seen. She points out, "The fact is, the old racist attitude that 'all black (or Asian or Latin) people look alike' also applies to fat people, with the same main corollary: We look alike to other beings because they cannot see us at all." I was surprised by this comparison and began to reassess the way I look at people I see who take up more room. Do I look away? Do I see these people as all the same because they have one shared quality?
"Tight Fits" by Ira Sukrungruang is more like a guide with examples. How does an obese person get around the challenges of getting into small places, like airplane seats or sacred temples in Thailand. The goal seems to be to avoid embarrassment, and I felt embarrassed that I've considered such tactics myself (only in different scenarios). The accommodations for others can feel endless when you are abandoned for being "too big."
Atul Gawande describes "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" from a doctor's point of view. Gawande is always concerned that his patient will regain all of the weight lost after gastric bypass surgery. It turns out that he learns the patient is also concerned. Is this problem bigger than his desires? I really liked seeing the exchanges between the doctor and patient outside of the hospital because the doctor could give facts from a medical standpoint while still engaging with the human patient who fears for his life and wonders how quality it can be if he remains morbidly obese.
I thought it was a fantastic choice on the part of the editors to put Sondra Solovay's piece "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" right after Gawande's essay. While Gawande describes the high success rates of G.B. surgery and how it is the best option medical science has, Solovay points out immediately that she had a friend who was 310 lbs looking happy in on the steps of a pyramid in El Salvador. And how that friend had G.B. surgery and died. What this achieves is showing readers that no matter which option is the best in terms of losing weight, they can all be dangerous. Should the 310 lb friend have continued her life at 310 lbs? A friend of mine who had G.B. surgery and became pregnant and then regained most of the weight pointed out to me that she cut up her insides to get society to look at her. She has a lot of health problems now, and I'm not sure how long she'll be a mother to her toddler.
Steven A. Shaw celebrates being a chubby man in "Fat Guys Kick Ass." This is mostly a list of ways that fat guys are better lovers and boyfriends who are stronger but more peaceful. This is a very fun-loving piece that makes me rethink what others feel internally. Not all fat people feel bad inside, I must remember.
Many other readers have commented on the remaining essays (written by giants like David Sedaris and Anne Lamott or that describe a thin person's hate for fat individuals, like Irvin Yalom or the "hoggers"), but one that struck me was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She was so happy when she didn't know that Tim, who was on the other end of her email, was fat. When they are together, she is embarrassed that people will think she's with him and she calls him a friend. At home, though, they have fantastic sex and she is very happy with him. However, I read that Gottlieb's essay is mostly untrue. This could be the result of her stretching the truth, or it could be that her ex is humiliated, and why wouldn't he be? This is the sort of thing that really requires prior approval since the situation is so specific (no one will not know who this guy is in real life whether we call him "Tim" or not).
Overall, this book made me assess myself and the way others perceive me and the way I perceive them, regardless of size, but with fat in mind.
Originally posted on Grab the Lapels.
However, when I read this nonfiction anthology, I felt a deeper connection because these were real people explaining in words that I often couldn't put together the way they felt about fat. The authors are not all fat or obese; some are quite thin, but write to explain how they feel about seeing or being with fat people.
In "Letting Myself Go," Sallie Tisdale weights about 165 lbs, a weight many fat people would kill to be. She is a frequent dieter. She notes, "The pettiness is never far away; concern with my weight evokes the smallest, meanest parts of me. I look at another woman passing on the street and think, At least I'm not that fat." I myself have had such thoughts, and so Tisdale made me consider how I internalize the bodies of others.
Natalie Kusz writes in "On Being Invisible" that she takes up more space, but is less seen. She points out, "The fact is, the old racist attitude that 'all black (or Asian or Latin) people look alike' also applies to fat people, with the same main corollary: We look alike to other beings because they cannot see us at all." I was surprised by this comparison and began to reassess the way I look at people I see who take up more room. Do I look away? Do I see these people as all the same because they have one shared quality?
"Tight Fits" by Ira Sukrungruang is more like a guide with examples. How does an obese person get around the challenges of getting into small places, like airplane seats or sacred temples in Thailand. The goal seems to be to avoid embarrassment, and I felt embarrassed that I've considered such tactics myself (only in different scenarios). The accommodations for others can feel endless when you are abandoned for being "too big."
Atul Gawande describes "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" from a doctor's point of view. Gawande is always concerned that his patient will regain all of the weight lost after gastric bypass surgery. It turns out that he learns the patient is also concerned. Is this problem bigger than his desires? I really liked seeing the exchanges between the doctor and patient outside of the hospital because the doctor could give facts from a medical standpoint while still engaging with the human patient who fears for his life and wonders how quality it can be if he remains morbidly obese.
I thought it was a fantastic choice on the part of the editors to put Sondra Solovay's piece "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" right after Gawande's essay. While Gawande describes the high success rates of G.B. surgery and how it is the best option medical science has, Solovay points out immediately that she had a friend who was 310 lbs looking happy in on the steps of a pyramid in El Salvador. And how that friend had G.B. surgery and died. What this achieves is showing readers that no matter which option is the best in terms of losing weight, they can all be dangerous. Should the 310 lb friend have continued her life at 310 lbs? A friend of mine who had G.B. surgery and became pregnant and then regained most of the weight pointed out to me that she cut up her insides to get society to look at her. She has a lot of health problems now, and I'm not sure how long she'll be a mother to her toddler.
Steven A. Shaw celebrates being a chubby man in "Fat Guys Kick Ass." This is mostly a list of ways that fat guys are better lovers and boyfriends who are stronger but more peaceful. This is a very fun-loving piece that makes me rethink what others feel internally. Not all fat people feel bad inside, I must remember.
Many other readers have commented on the remaining essays (written by giants like David Sedaris and Anne Lamott or that describe a thin person's hate for fat individuals, like Irvin Yalom or the "hoggers"), but one that struck me was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She was so happy when she didn't know that Tim, who was on the other end of her email, was fat. When they are together, she is embarrassed that people will think she's with him and she calls him a friend. At home, though, they have fantastic sex and she is very happy with him. However, I read that Gottlieb's essay is mostly untrue. This could be the result of her stretching the truth, or it could be that her ex is humiliated, and why wouldn't he be? This is the sort of thing that really requires prior approval since the situation is so specific (no one will not know who this guy is in real life whether we call him "Tim" or not).
Overall, this book made me assess myself and the way others perceive me and the way I perceive them, regardless of size, but with fat in mind.
Originally posted on Grab the Lapels.
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