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saramdeuri's review against another edition
4.0
very moving and thoughtful. I'm always interested in books that take me through experiences and get me close to minds that I'd never have known otherwise, and this did a wonderful job of it. really made me feel so much empathy for the mother even though I was so far removed from the way she thought, Kim Hye-Jin really knows how to bring you to look her in the eye. an ambiguous ending, but well-done. doesn't leave you yearning for more, just hoping that they'll be alright.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Chronic illness, Homophobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Police brutality, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
nad_books623's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Wow this was a raw story that a lot of people in the lgbtq+ community can relate to while reading. The mother was so annoying and hypocritical. The whole time that she was reflecting towards the end of the book with the nursing home and her inner homophobia we never got to see her challenge her hypocrisy. Which, I guess makes the story more raw in a sense but still would be interested to see. I did like the stories comment on being elderly and what happens in society when someone no longer has a purpose.The scene when the reporters came to interview Jen was a good moment that showed how she was seen as disposable since she could not give what they wanted from her. Another moment in the book was towards the end when Jen is in the last nursing home and how the carer says they're all just going to die there always. I think this book also discusses well how care taking is a commodity in society and that due to capitalism people who need care do not get the proper care they need.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Chronic illness, Death, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Dementia, Grief, Medical trauma, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Classism
Moderate: Physical abuse
Minor: Excrement and Vomit
minxtte's review against another edition
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Confinement, Homophobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
karolinak's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
An interesting book about empathy and lack of it. The main character feels a lot of empathy for an old lady she cares for at a nursing home, going out of her way to ensure better treatment for her. At the same time, she can't find it in herself to feel the same empathy for her own daughter, who is gay, which she disapproves of to such a degree she's completely in denial about it. It's difficult to read the homophobia in the book, the main character's treatment of her daughter's partner who is perhaps the kindest character in the story.
There's interesting ponderings on family here too. 'Traditional' family model is the only family model the main character acknowledges. Found family of friends or same sex families are constructs she sees as lesser than, bound to break apart. Which is interesting, since her homophobia has distanced her from her daughter.
I have complicated feelings about the main character. She's a product of the cultural setting she is in, her upbringing. She cares about her daughter deeply, but can't or won't let go of her ideas of a life she imagined for her, making herself and their relationship miserable. Every parent must struggle with this to a degree as their children become adults, their own individual people, hopefully most deal with it better.
There's interesting ponderings on family here too. 'Traditional' family model is the only family model the main character acknowledges. Found family of friends or same sex families are constructs she sees as lesser than, bound to break apart. Which is interesting, since her homophobia has distanced her from her daughter.
I have complicated feelings about the main character. She's a product of the cultural setting she is in, her upbringing. She cares about her daughter deeply, but can't or won't let go of her ideas of a life she imagined for her, making herself and their relationship miserable. Every parent must struggle with this to a degree as their children become adults, their own individual people, hopefully most deal with it better.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Death, Homophobia, and Dementia
Moderate: Excrement