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peachmoni's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Racism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Classism
Minor: Biphobia, Bullying, Child abuse, Terminal illness, and Islamophobia
lothlorian's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
If I could give this book 100 stars, I would. Tufayel Ahmed has written a roller coaster of a novel that intersects sexuality, faith, family, and love. I feel like this book fundamentally changed me as a person. Thank you, Tufayel Ahmed.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia and Racism
Minor: Classism
grimm_reads's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This book was fantastic. Please read it!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Islamophobia, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Alcohol and Classism
bookedinsideout's review
4.5
There were a lot of heavy things in this book, which definitely made Amar a sympathetic character even if you wanted him to find his “way out” with fewer detours. It challenged me in that way though, because that’s life — we can sometimes sabotage ourselves, need time or perspective to figure things out, and make our own choices even if others don’t always agree.
What made it easier was that even when Amar was on rocky terrain with family members or his fiancé, he had a couple of really good friends, a mentor, and a therapist to check in with him and support him through all of the change and struggles he was going through. Noting that my experience is as a white reader, I really appreciated learning more about the stigma that can be attached to therapy for different cultures in different ways, how positive things such as an ethos of resilience can sometimes be presented as conflicting with the need to care for your mental health. I’m glad that we got to see Amar attending therapy throughout the book and how he was encouraged to take steps such as seeking out other queer Muslims who might be able to understand his family experience better. And that was another thing I really liked, the way the book presented some nuance in the diversity of queer experiences as it relates to different families, religions, and cultures. You can say a parent/sibling should support their child/brother no matter what, and no doubt that the homomisic language and threats are wrong, but it seems it’s not always so simple if it’s your family and you know that their intentions are to love you in they way they think they’re supposed to rather than the way you’re telling them you need. If they’ve believed one thing their whole lives that is taught as being so intricately connected to their selves and now they’re being asked to think differently, that might take time. Definitely not an excuse for abuse, but it’s also not as simple for everyone.
So yeah, definitely a book that challenged me and made me think. But there were also a few things that niggled at me, like the switch back and forth with Amar’s fiancé Joshua. There were definitely things that Joshua could have done better (from what we saw in the beginning), but Amar recognized that he also needed to communicate with Joshua instead of keeping his feelings in, and we saw some really beautifully supportive scenes that made me believe in Joshua’s readiness to learn from Amar about his cultural blind spots. He might have been somewhat defensive when Amar was telling him about how J’s mother wasn’t considering him or his culture in her wedding planning, but I also kind of wished that Joshua explained that even though he didn’t agree with his mother and would talk with her, she was still his mother and he wouldn’t give up on her — something I’m sure Amar would understand.
Amar hastily calling off their engagement was so sad and when they didn’t talk for 6 weeks it felt so unresolved, but he started saying that he wouldn’t be able to marry Joshua or marry into his family because they were just too different and couldn’t get past this. While I thought that was pretty devastating (and a heavy loss on top of everything else he was going through), I trusted that it was just something I couldn’t fully understand, and I started to be happy for him as he met other gay Muslim men, started to get close to a new friend, and thought this might be the right partner for him. And then all of a sudden the story remembers Joshua and of course it was him all along. Absolutely Amar has the right to change his mind, to make mistakes, to his own choices for his own life. But I also felt like we were just convinced it couldn’t work?
And then very minor, but I kind of liked how when they were trying to save the bookshop they were having struggles with the crowdfunding campaign, with little support or the visibility they wanted — I’m sure sometimes this is incredibly successful but there are probably also many occasions where getting people’s attention or getting them to care isn’t like a Hallmark movie. But then not only do they go viral with a TikTok video promoting the campaign, but it’s made its way to the likes of Courtney Cox? That was just a little too unbelievable for me!
But again, there was so much I liked about this book and the way it explored grief, families, siblings, religion, interracial relationships, white privilege and saviourship, friendship, and… bookshops!
What made it easier was that even when Amar was on rocky terrain with family members or his fiancé, he had a couple of really good friends, a mentor, and a therapist to check in with him and support him through all of the change and struggles he was going through. Noting that my experience is as a white reader, I really appreciated learning more about the stigma that can be attached to therapy for different cultures in different ways, how positive things such as an ethos of resilience can sometimes be presented as conflicting with the need to care for your mental health. I’m glad that we got to see Amar attending therapy throughout the book and how he was encouraged to take steps such as seeking out other queer Muslims who might be able to understand his family experience better. And that was another thing I really liked, the way the book presented some nuance in the diversity of queer experiences as it relates to different families, religions, and cultures. You can say a parent/sibling should support their child/brother no matter what, and no doubt that the homomisic language and threats are wrong, but it seems it’s not always so simple if it’s your family and you know that their intentions are to love you in they way they think they’re supposed to rather than the way you’re telling them you need. If they’ve believed one thing their whole lives that is taught as being so intricately connected to their selves and now they’re being asked to think differently, that might take time. Definitely not an excuse for abuse, but it’s also not as simple for everyone.
So yeah, definitely a book that challenged me and made me think. But there were also a few things that niggled at me,
Amar hastily calling off their engagement was so sad and when they didn’t talk for 6 weeks it felt so unresolved, but he started saying that he wouldn’t be able to marry Joshua or marry into his family because they were just too different and couldn’t get past this. While I thought that was pretty devastating (and a heavy loss on top of everything else he was going through), I trusted that it was just something I couldn’t fully understand, and I started to be happy for him as he met other gay Muslim men, started to get close to a new friend, and thought this might be the right partner for him. And then all of a sudden the story remembers Joshua and of course it was him all along. Absolutely Amar has the right to change his mind, to make mistakes, to his own choices for his own life. But I also felt like we were just convinced it couldn’t work?
And then very minor, but I kind of liked how when they were trying to save the bookshop they were having struggles with the crowdfunding campaign, with little support or the visibility they wanted — I’m sure sometimes this is incredibly successful but there are probably also many occasions where getting people’s attention or getting them to care isn’t like a Hallmark movie. But then not only do they go viral with a TikTok video promoting the campaign, but it’s made its way to the likes of Courtney Cox? That was just a little too unbelievable for me!
But again, there was so much I liked about this book and the way it explored grief, families, siblings, religion, interracial relationships, white privilege and saviourship, friendship, and… bookshops!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Racism
Moderate: Death of parent
Minor: Fatphobia and Classism
Apart from the racial microaggressions and homomisic slurs made by family members, there were a couple of unchallenged fatphobic comments made as well as some classism regarding Amar's in-laws suggesting he'll need to get a better job (than a service job) to "pay his share" when they "inevitably" buy a house once they're married