Scan barcode
Reviews
How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties: 40 Strategies to Fail at Adulting by Randy J. Paterson
pumpkinspies's review
2.0
Based on the premise that "downhill is easier than uphill," Paterson suggests thinking of how to make everything the very worst it could possibly be, and then do the opposite.
It's a lot of tongue in cheek humor, and assumes some privilege and nuance, but the general gist is: identify the factors you have control over, and focus your energy on those instead of the factors you can't control (like other people's opinions and attitudes). If there's a way to control those uncontrolled factors, find a way to obtain that control.
It's not for everyone. But what I like is that he acknowledges repeatedly that we treat kids like kids until they're 18, and then expect them to have everything figured out. We either make them terrified of trying because they'll just mess it up, or we don't even tell them there are tools that can give them a fighting chance.
It was a fun read. I took what was useful or applicable to me, turned the page on the rest, as we should do with any generalized self help books.
It's a lot of tongue in cheek humor, and assumes some privilege and nuance, but the general gist is: identify the factors you have control over, and focus your energy on those instead of the factors you can't control (like other people's opinions and attitudes). If there's a way to control those uncontrolled factors, find a way to obtain that control.
It's not for everyone. But what I like is that he acknowledges repeatedly that we treat kids like kids until they're 18, and then expect them to have everything figured out. We either make them terrified of trying because they'll just mess it up, or we don't even tell them there are tools that can give them a fighting chance.
It was a fun read. I took what was useful or applicable to me, turned the page on the rest, as we should do with any generalized self help books.
toggle_fow's review against another edition
4.0
This book was helpful.
It's all the things you already know you should be doing/not doing, but presented in a counter-intuitive way that gives you a fresh perspective on long-held unhelpful thought habits. That may seem gimmicky, but for me, a person who hates the smarmy "health, wellness, and gratitude" aesthetic that internet influencer culture seems to be relentlessly touting, it was useful.
I know that holding onto anger hurts only me, and I know that a poor-me attitude leads nowhere, etc. but Paterson's structure and mirror-image approach helped me look at several things in a new way. Also, as an actual psychologist and not just a well-connected New York City writer, his understanding of how to actually help people seemed deeper to me than that of most self-help happiness gurus.
It's all the things you already know you should be doing/not doing, but presented in a counter-intuitive way that gives you a fresh perspective on long-held unhelpful thought habits. That may seem gimmicky, but for me, a person who hates the smarmy "health, wellness, and gratitude" aesthetic that internet influencer culture seems to be relentlessly touting, it was useful.
I know that holding onto anger hurts only me, and I know that a poor-me attitude leads nowhere, etc. but Paterson's structure and mirror-image approach helped me look at several things in a new way. Also, as an actual psychologist and not just a well-connected New York City writer, his understanding of how to actually help people seemed deeper to me than that of most self-help happiness gurus.
More...