Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder by Jane Monckton-Smith

6 reviews

shelfofunread's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Stalking, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Child abuse, Child death, Misogyny, Sexual violence, Violence, and Murder

kirstym25's review against another edition

challenging emotional medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Violence, Murder, and Gaslighting

crazytourists_books's review

dark emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

5.0

An extremely interesting and important book, showing how control and coercion can lead to abuse and murder. 
As mentioned quite a few times in the book, society needs to stop excusing the perpetrators and blaming victims. It is time to realise that the "crime of passion" is a myth, that domestic abuse is a heinous crime, that coercive control leaves people (predominantly women and children) live in constant fear. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Grief, Stalking, Murder, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

sauvageloup's review

challenging informative reflective sad

4.0

an important and interesting book

Pros:
- definitely challenged my assumptions about domestic violence and femicide - the crime of passion myth and the idea that victims of domestic violence behave in unexplainable ways. the author does a very good and comprehensive job of explaining exactly why victims behave as they do and focuses on them (and protecting them) throughout, not their killers.
- her homicide timeline is very interesting and the clear pattern is as scary as it is useful. the sheer numbers of domestic intimate partner murders are awful, but the timeline she proposes does offer some hope in starting to combat it.
- i've known that the courts aren't a good place for victims and families suffering from domestic abuse, but the author does a great job of explaining it and arguing why change is needed.
- though the writing is plain, it's still obvious how much the author is passionate about helping people and the stories she provides, and the sheer number of them, is painful to read (in a good way).

cons:
- the information was a bit repetitive at times, probably because Monckton smith was very keen to get her viewpoint and research across.
- the writing is also pretty bland and stiff at times (unlike the more compelling style of The Body Keeps the Score), but is informative and gets all the necessary points across. i did feel like some of the impact of the horrible deaths and circumstances the author was describing wasn't given enough emotional punch in the book, but then the author herself might be inured to it from the years she's spent studying it and training herself to look at such stories and statistics in an academic matter. it was clear that she cared very deeply for these victims, but i didn't feel that was imparted very well on the reader. 
- i was left still with the question of how a person who identifies that they are controlling might help themselves to end their behaviour patterns and stop the timeline from happening. but i think the author wasn't trying to answer this, just what society and victims can do to get themselves out of there, which is fair enough.

overall, a very worthwhile and disturbing yet powerful book that i think everyone should read, not just women.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Murder, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Forced institutionalization, Death of parent, and Pregnancy

none of the descriptions are gratuitous but its still a hard read. heavy focus on stalking, abuse and murder by nature of the book's contents.

queengaynor's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Gun violence, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

dr_aish's review against another edition

challenging dark informative sad fast-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting