kate_cunningham's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.25
margaretefg's review
4.0
Complicated story of the author's reunion with her Korean family, her experiences of the world as a transracially adopted person. It's mostly linear but not completely. Lots to think about, especially that yearning for a mother/to be wanted and to belong.
staniel's review
4.0
So poetic, vulnerable, and raw. A beautiful retelling of the strife and convoluted experience of transracial, international adoption. I loved this read - listened as an audiobook. Although intentional, the somewhat abrupt nature of the storytelling (mirroring the experiences of the narrative), made it a bit difficult to follow. I appreciate this was a stylistic storytelling choice and it did help me relate to the jarring experiences shared; unfortunately it just made the listen a bit challenging. I would definitely recommend this book!
liralen's review against another edition
4.0
Finding her birth family as an adult gave Wills some of the answers that she'd searched for all her life—but it couldn't possibly give her the connection she yearned for: it couldn't give her a fluency in Korean, or a shared childhood with her biological sisters, or an easy relationship with her biological parents. It couldn't take away years of racist jokes from white classmates or a sense of never quite knowing where she fit.
There are some similarities here to [b:All You Can Ever Know|30297153|All You Can Ever Know A Memoir|Nicole Chung|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1519748414l/30297153._SY75_.jpg|50777526], though in many ways I think Older Sister is much rawer: more a realisation that there never will be simple answers. Wills was able to forge connections with some, if not all, of her biological relatives, but those connections were not without complications, and they were—for better and for worse—not the connections she'd have if she had been raised with and by them. It was startling to me to consider just how many others must be in Wills' position: enough that there's an entire subset of guest houses specifically for adopted returnees looking for their biological families. I don't have a sense of comparative numbers (e.g., how many Canadian or American children are adopted relative to Korean or Chinese children), but I can't imagine that sort of thing in the US or Canada...but there's the cultural/historical context to consider, of course; Wills' biological parents faced pressures that they might not have elsewhere.
Wills notes, late in the book, that while her homecoming was a joyous occasion for her parents, it was not without complications: for her biological siblings and for the sister with whom she'd been raised; for biological relatives who hadn't known of her existence or had known of it only as a secret to keep buried. Her adoption, done in a shroud of secrecy as it had been—even her biological mother wasn't told her given name, which Wills' grandfather chose—effected in some ways a multigenerational trauma that it sounds like it will take longer than the span the book covers to unpick and stitch back together.
This has gotten some well-deserved attention in Canada, and I hope it'll get a wider audience as well.
There are some similarities here to [b:All You Can Ever Know|30297153|All You Can Ever Know A Memoir|Nicole Chung|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1519748414l/30297153._SY75_.jpg|50777526], though in many ways I think Older Sister is much rawer: more a realisation that there never will be simple answers. Wills was able to forge connections with some, if not all, of her biological relatives, but those connections were not without complications, and they were—for better and for worse—not the connections she'd have if she had been raised with and by them. It was startling to me to consider just how many others must be in Wills' position: enough that there's an entire subset of guest houses specifically for adopted returnees looking for their biological families. I don't have a sense of comparative numbers (e.g., how many Canadian or American children are adopted relative to Korean or Chinese children), but I can't imagine that sort of thing in the US or Canada...but there's the cultural/historical context to consider, of course; Wills' biological parents faced pressures that they might not have elsewhere.
Wills notes, late in the book, that while her homecoming was a joyous occasion for her parents, it was not without complications: for her biological siblings and for the sister with whom she'd been raised; for biological relatives who hadn't known of her existence or had known of it only as a secret to keep buried. Her adoption, done in a shroud of secrecy as it had been—even her biological mother wasn't told her given name, which Wills' grandfather chose—effected in some ways a multigenerational trauma that it sounds like it will take longer than the span the book covers to unpick and stitch back together.
This has gotten some well-deserved attention in Canada, and I hope it'll get a wider audience as well.
ellieafterall's review
3.0
“Every place that I witnessed for the first time was at once new and nostalgic.”
No other topic is as crucial as identity to writers from Asian diaspora, and Wills’ memoir explores hers to its most painful, true corners. She writes that Korea is simultaneously “new and nostalgic,” these paradoxes that make up the lives of first-generation immigrants. Maybe when you leave behind a country, you leave behind a part of yourself. And just like any other misplaced item, the thing you lost comes back to you — when you least expect it.
No other topic is as crucial as identity to writers from Asian diaspora, and Wills’ memoir explores hers to its most painful, true corners. She writes that Korea is simultaneously “new and nostalgic,” these paradoxes that make up the lives of first-generation immigrants. Maybe when you leave behind a country, you leave behind a part of yourself. And just like any other misplaced item, the thing you lost comes back to you — when you least expect it.