Reviews with content warning for Sexual harassment - Byłam Eileen

This novel's setting over the Christmas season creates a uniquely lonely atmosphere. Each scene is packed with description of often mundane things, which, for me, at least, got old after about a hundred pages. Some topics, like alcoholism and child abuse, are explored deeply through multiple characters who experience them.

This novel obviously makes you uncomfortable and grossed out on purpose, but I honestly don't think the story benefits much from that. Most of the sensetive or gross topics feel like they were only included for shock and contributed little to any wider commentary. However, some topics are very well-explored, just not most of those included. That said, make sure you check the content warnings for this book.

Nothing much in the plot happens until about the last third; most of the book leading up to that point is a mix of anecdotes, atmosphere, and gross-out description. For most of the first third, I was really considering picking up another book instead because so little was happening or felt significant. It did create a nice payoff when, in the last third, things started happening, but that didn't outweigh the slowness of the beginning and middle for me.

This book really wasn't for me. It had some merits, like strong descriptions and atmosphere. However, I couldn't look past the overly slow pacing and the overuse of some sensetive topics seemingly for shock.

Content Warnings

hlb2023's review against another edition

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dark mysterious reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

elizabethng2's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

there are no wolves, only mice

Content Warnings

dreamwifu's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this is how girls found out they like other girls before there were buzzfeed "am i gay?" quizzes

Content Warnings

aalayah's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

natsumikan's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

bugcollector's review against another edition

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challenging dark tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.75

At last, I'm done with this book, and it only took me 12 months!

Eileen starts off funny and cunning. A bit suicidal, but mainly stuck in her place craving an escape:
▫️ "Icicles hung from the rafter over the front door, and I stood there imagining them cracking and darting through my breasts, slicing through the thick gristle of my shoulder like bullets or cleaving my brain into pieces." (p. 3)
▫️ "If my daydreams from back then cane true, one day I'd have found him splayed out at the bottom of the stairs, neck broken but still breathing. 'It's about time', I'd say with the most bored affect I could master, peering over his dying body." (p. 5)
▫️ "He was a cruel character. Imagining his parents beating him as a child is the only path to forgiveness that I have found so far. It isn't perfect but it does the trick." (p. 6)
▫️ "I could be very dramatic with my self assessments." (p. 8)
▫️ "I imagined what relief I might feel if I could lie on Dr. Frye's couch just once and confess like some sort of fallen hero that my life was simply intolerable. But, in fact it was tolerable. I'd been tolerating it after all." (p. 22)

As I read on (until about p. 50) Nothing made me want to pick this book again for a long while. I Ended up reading Moshfegh's newest book from this year, Lapnovka, and regretted it dearly, which put me off from this one even more. Determined to cut down my currently reading list before the new year, I found myself working hard to read through it this weekend.

My problem with Eileen is that she stays stuck in the place for most of the book. Near the very end something interesting happens, but by then you have fallen asleep.
Her routine isn't unique, and there's so much you can read about her hating everything, her repeating that she's a new girl now and those things happened in the past, her saying it's the last time she went to the prison, the last time she saw her father, the last time she saw an icicle drop, yada yada yada.
Eileen ends being relatable relatively fast. She is deeply disterbing, pretty vile, and endulged with some hard topics (Moshpeg loves bringing poop and masterbation to the conversation)

I think the plot sounds promising, centering a young girl seeking an escape.
But you won't get an escape with it, you'd end up wanting to escape from it.

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