The design and UX isn't done, Rob and Abbie, okkurrrr! š
krisalys's review against another edition
3.0
This book was not what I expected.
I thought it would explore what it means to be a single woman in the 21st century and the history of spinsterhood. Instead what I got were five biographies of female writers, plus the history of relationships of the author herself. While this was an educational and entertaining read, it wasn't really hat I had been looking for.
I enjoyed the read for sure, and some elements that I had expected, e.g. number of spinsters over time, the change of the status of single women in history etc., were included, but those were mainly footnotes and little asides.
What brought the rating down for me was that almost none of the writers mentioned were actually "proper" spinsters, i.e. most of them ended up married at some point. Moreover, the author herself is a serial monogamist, which again defies the description of what it means to be a single woman. Sure, she never got married, but she was in relationships of some sort or another literally her entire adult life. So while I enjoyed reading about her struggle with the pressure to "settle down" and marry her partner(s), I couldn't really identify with her as a single woman.
I thought it would explore what it means to be a single woman in the 21st century and the history of spinsterhood. Instead what I got were five biographies of female writers, plus the history of relationships of the author herself. While this was an educational and entertaining read, it wasn't really hat I had been looking for.
I enjoyed the read for sure, and some elements that I had expected, e.g. number of spinsters over time, the change of the status of single women in history etc., were included, but those were mainly footnotes and little asides.
What brought the rating down for me was that almost none of the writers mentioned were actually "proper" spinsters, i.e. most of them ended up married at some point. Moreover, the author herself is a serial monogamist, which again defies the description of what it means to be a single woman. Sure, she never got married, but she was in relationships of some sort or another literally her entire adult life. So while I enjoyed reading about her struggle with the pressure to "settle down" and marry her partner(s), I couldn't really identify with her as a single woman.
brendaclay's review against another edition
3.0
This is equal parts the memoir of a never-married 40something woman, and a reflection on/biography of the five historical "awakeners" she's adopted over the course of her life - Neith Boyce, Maeve Brennan, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Edith Wharton. At times I was fascinated, and I highlighted a lot. There aren't enough books that treat singleness as a valid, empowered life choice. Her thoughts about singleness in the context of a creative temperament are also interesting. But at the same time, I got a little weary of the navel-gazing and "Woe is me, men love me and I just want to be aloooone."
spacebee's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.0
This was a book by someone who obviously writes very well, but seems to lack some self awareness. It was extremely self important and basically when speaking on her own life, she came off as a privileged woman who doesnāt realize the amount of pretty privilege she holds. She was constantly on dates and almost brags about how easy it was for her to go on dates and she has almost always been in some sort of relationship. Instead of examining that, she just shrugs her shoulders and says āGuess Iām just social!ā Ok, then maybe writing a book about spinsterhood isnāt the angle you should take?
As for her writing on the authors that inspired her, I liked those parts and thought her writing was really good, but, thereās this whole lack of queer examination of these writers that it feels like she was unwilling to even entertain the possibility that these authors may have wanted independence and what may have looked like a solitary life because they were not attracted to men or were discreetly dating women. Seems like a weird omission.Ā
Thereās a great review on The Guardian that I pretty much agree wholeheartedly with if you feel like looking for it on Google. Extremely disappointed with this book.Ā
As for her writing on the authors that inspired her, I liked those parts and thought her writing was really good, but, thereās this whole lack of queer examination of these writers that it feels like she was unwilling to even entertain the possibility that these authors may have wanted independence and what may have looked like a solitary life because they were not attracted to men or were discreetly dating women. Seems like a weird omission.Ā
Thereās a great review on The Guardian that I pretty much agree wholeheartedly with if you feel like looking for it on Google. Extremely disappointed with this book.Ā
sonjaloviisa's review against another edition
5.0
Never did I think I would give an autobiography five stars. However, since I feel that this book has altered the way I view my very existence, I think it more than deserves it.
Bolickās Spinster is exactly what a biography should be. Her life is in no way glorified or turned into an instruction manual for others who want to be just like her. Instead, she places her own honest experiences into the context of history, constantly in conversation with the lives of others. As someone who generally zones out when reading about history, Bolick did a fantastic job of changing the pace at appropriate intervals, able to keep even me interested.
I cried so many times reading this book, out of pure relief. I had never before realized the mental limitations I had placed on my own future, due to what is historically expected out of women. The journey of reading this book opened my eyes to possibilities that I did not know existed. I was finally introduced to role models who feel right for me and was filled with a sense of purpose. So many of the things Bolick writes about, resonate with me in a way that I didnāt think was possible. After finishing this book, Iām filled with a sense of ease and feel a lot less alone in this world. Iām excited to dive even deeper into this wormhole of single women and spinsters!
Bolickās Spinster is exactly what a biography should be. Her life is in no way glorified or turned into an instruction manual for others who want to be just like her. Instead, she places her own honest experiences into the context of history, constantly in conversation with the lives of others. As someone who generally zones out when reading about history, Bolick did a fantastic job of changing the pace at appropriate intervals, able to keep even me interested.
I cried so many times reading this book, out of pure relief. I had never before realized the mental limitations I had placed on my own future, due to what is historically expected out of women. The journey of reading this book opened my eyes to possibilities that I did not know existed. I was finally introduced to role models who feel right for me and was filled with a sense of purpose. So many of the things Bolick writes about, resonate with me in a way that I didnāt think was possible. After finishing this book, Iām filled with a sense of ease and feel a lot less alone in this world. Iām excited to dive even deeper into this wormhole of single women and spinsters!
earlyandalone's review against another edition
5.0
It's rare that I feel a book is speaking to me directly, but I felt that with this book, despite some feelings of petty jealousy about the author's life that distracted me at certain points. But I guess such strong feelings of envy only added to the experience of relating to the book so much.
I've always been drawn to discussions of the female experience, and most especially, the single female experience, which has been a "hot topic" as of late. What I liked about this particular foray was that Kate Bolick couches her exploration with the stories of her five "awakeners," women who strongly influenced her thinking about creativity and marriage and "making a life of one's own," but also delves rather fearlessly into her own personal experiences with dating, sex, work, and art.
I'd never heard of Maeve Brennan or Neith Boyce before reading this book, and I know plan on reading more about them. I never knew Charlotte Perkins Gilman made her life in Providence, so close to where I grew up. I didn't know that Edna St. Vincent Millay had been such a pioneer for female sexuality. And my admiration for Edith Wharton, sprung from my own solo visit to her home, The Mount, two summers ago, only grew through Bolick's empathic and generous rendering.
As someone navigating single life and the creative struggles of being a writer and editor, Bolick's own experiences spoke to me even more directly than those of her muses. Even though, in my view, Bolick has led an incredibly charmed life, both professionally and romantically, it's also clear that her road hasn't been without struggles, and I admire the honesty and openness with which she writes.
I've always been drawn to discussions of the female experience, and most especially, the single female experience, which has been a "hot topic" as of late. What I liked about this particular foray was that Kate Bolick couches her exploration with the stories of her five "awakeners," women who strongly influenced her thinking about creativity and marriage and "making a life of one's own," but also delves rather fearlessly into her own personal experiences with dating, sex, work, and art.
I'd never heard of Maeve Brennan or Neith Boyce before reading this book, and I know plan on reading more about them. I never knew Charlotte Perkins Gilman made her life in Providence, so close to where I grew up. I didn't know that Edna St. Vincent Millay had been such a pioneer for female sexuality. And my admiration for Edith Wharton, sprung from my own solo visit to her home, The Mount, two summers ago, only grew through Bolick's empathic and generous rendering.
As someone navigating single life and the creative struggles of being a writer and editor, Bolick's own experiences spoke to me even more directly than those of her muses. Even though, in my view, Bolick has led an incredibly charmed life, both professionally and romantically, it's also clear that her road hasn't been without struggles, and I admire the honesty and openness with which she writes.
sarahelem's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Very informative. I will be thinking about this one for a while
lauren_brook_books's review against another edition
informative
reflective
slow-paced
1.5
I think Kate Bolick might actually be a pen name for Rory Gilmore. And I'm specifically talking the Rory Gilmore from Logan's launch party who thinks she's Joe Bus Driver. "Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own" is entitled, over written, privileged, and holier-than-thou.
Bolick seems to think she's above everyone and everything but her beloved "Awakeners." She's above home dƩcor (though she admits she has very strong opinions about it for someone who'd never read a decorating magazine)--until Edith Warton turned out to have a love of interior design. Then suddenly her full time, well paying, with benefits job editing a home dƩcor magazine, wasn't just something to pay the bills while not offering "anything meaningful to the world." Bolick freely comments on the "entitlement" of the white, upper-class, Ivy League" members of the publishing industry without ever addressing her own immense privilege and entitlement. Her need to "prove" herself independent and accomplished apart from any help (though she had tons of it) is exactly the frequent attitude of the prep school and Yale educated girl dating the son of a multi-millionaire (and living rent free in his apartment) we know from Gilmore Girls.
As a self appointed spinster, I would say that Bolick gives a bad name to Spinsters everywhere. Although as it turns out, she's hardly a spinster. She's in multiple long term relationships throughout the narrative and ends the book in a long term relationship where she admits that she isn't sure whether or not they'll have kids together. Her desire to co-opt the word "Spinster" to fit whatever arbitrary definition she wants (she admits in her world, reclaiming the word spinster means applying it to any woman who wants to define herself apart from men, even if that woman is married, or happily coupled) is just another example of her entitlement and privilege. She, as a current member of the predominant class--people in romantic partnerships--wants to be able to define herself as a member of the minority group to be able to claim their sense of identity.Ā
There were some interesting historical aspects to learning about the lives of her five "awakeners," so at least there is that.
Bolick seems to think she's above everyone and everything but her beloved "Awakeners." She's above home dƩcor (though she admits she has very strong opinions about it for someone who'd never read a decorating magazine)--until Edith Warton turned out to have a love of interior design. Then suddenly her full time, well paying, with benefits job editing a home dƩcor magazine, wasn't just something to pay the bills while not offering "anything meaningful to the world." Bolick freely comments on the "entitlement" of the white, upper-class, Ivy League" members of the publishing industry without ever addressing her own immense privilege and entitlement. Her need to "prove" herself independent and accomplished apart from any help (though she had tons of it) is exactly the frequent attitude of the prep school and Yale educated girl dating the son of a multi-millionaire (and living rent free in his apartment) we know from Gilmore Girls.
As a self appointed spinster, I would say that Bolick gives a bad name to Spinsters everywhere. Although as it turns out, she's hardly a spinster. She's in multiple long term relationships throughout the narrative and ends the book in a long term relationship where she admits that she isn't sure whether or not they'll have kids together. Her desire to co-opt the word "Spinster" to fit whatever arbitrary definition she wants (she admits in her world, reclaiming the word spinster means applying it to any woman who wants to define herself apart from men, even if that woman is married, or happily coupled) is just another example of her entitlement and privilege. She, as a current member of the predominant class--people in romantic partnerships--wants to be able to define herself as a member of the minority group to be able to claim their sense of identity.Ā
There were some interesting historical aspects to learning about the lives of her five "awakeners," so at least there is that.
marmoset737's review against another edition
4.0
Not quite what I expected from initial press released on the book but I enjoyed it. Bolick combines a historical look at traditional women "spinsters" that have influenced her own approach to life with some memoir-style essays. Was more interested by the history than the personal, although I appreciated Bolick's humility in the personal essays (which could easily have overshadowed the interesting, thoughtful research and made the book all about "her" but instead were used as a plot-device, forward-moving framework for the research).