mgann1's review against another edition
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
SPOILERS**
This book felt like trauma-porn and a Frankenstein’s monster of genres that went every which way. The main plot ended about 60% through and the rest was just insufferable.
I would have enjoyed this book more if the author had expanded on the relationship between Jonah and Richard for a few more chapters. Building up some sort of emotional connection between the reading and the MC before devolving into the madness and abuse. Instead, the relationship was expedited and shallow, and the abuse began immediately before the MC could really believably become drawn to the abuser. In turn, there was no stakes and instead the reader watched as the MC knowingly put himself in harmful situations.
It easily could have ended after Jonah and Mace escaped and it would have been a satisfying ending to a thriller. Instead, the capture and escape happened within chapters of each other, and then the book continued for another 100 pages of internal dialogue, MORE trauma, and weird church propaganda.
I really wanted to like this book, but between the unlikeable MC and the copious amounts of rape, I really disliked it through and through.
This book felt like trauma-porn and a Frankenstein’s monster of genres that went every which way. The main plot ended about 60% through and the rest was just insufferable.
I would have enjoyed this book more if the author had expanded on the relationship between Jonah and Richard for a few more chapters. Building up some sort of emotional connection between the reading and the MC before devolving into the madness and abuse. Instead, the relationship was expedited and shallow, and the abuse began immediately before the MC could really believably become drawn to the abuser. In turn, there was no stakes and instead the reader watched as the MC knowingly put himself in harmful situations.
It easily could have ended after Jonah and Mace escaped and it would have been a satisfying ending to a thriller. Instead, the capture and escape happened within chapters of each other, and then the book continued for another 100 pages of internal dialogue, MORE trauma, and weird church propaganda.
I really wanted to like this book, but between the unlikeable MC and the copious amounts of rape, I really disliked it through and through.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Suicide attempt, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Physical abuse, and Sexual content
aely's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book was extremely depressing. Jonah simply wanted to have a roof over his hand, and what happened to him was truly awful to read.
Parks-Ramage managed to write realistic characters who go through SO much trauma, with a bittersweet ending that left me feeling… complicated.
My only critique would be that the book felt so depressing and hopeless that at times it was very hard to return to the story.
Other than that, the book is a grim cautionary tale about abusive relationships and sexual assault. It was very emotional and well written. I hope that Jonah is able to live happily after the books ends. That is all.
Parks-Ramage managed to write realistic characters who go through SO much trauma, with a bittersweet ending that left me feeling… complicated.
My only critique would be that the book felt so depressing and hopeless that at times it was very hard to return to the story.
Other than that, the book is a grim cautionary tale about abusive relationships and sexual assault. It was very emotional and well written. I hope that Jonah is able to live happily after the books ends. That is all.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Child abuse, Cursing, Gaslighting, Religious bigotry, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Homophobia, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Classism, Bullying, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Addiction, Death, Murder, Domestic abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, and Self harm
Minor: Body shaming, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Stalking, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Animal cruelty, Blood, Trafficking, Dementia, and Abortion
pierrereads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Rape, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, and Violence
mangofandango's review against another edition
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
3.0
I have mixed feelings about this one! I signed up for one thing and got sort of another, and I think that was intentional but it was less fun than I imagined it would be. Like, I expected dark, sexy gay thriller, and what it actually is is...dark, grim, sort of mysterious but not quite a thriller, not so much consensually sexy sex but definitely full of many rape scenes, with a main character that seems more like a symbol than an actual character somehow.
I read the discussion guide in the back because I found I finished the book somewhat unclear as to the author's intentions here. Like, it's a story about an ex-evangelical who was forced into conversion therapy, it's got lots of "you deserve this sexual assault, rape and abuse because you're gay" stuff going on because of that, it's trauma after trauma, and the specter of evangelicalism doesn't ever really leave - it gets a kinder re-brand toward the end. So I honestly couldn't tell if this book was operating on stereotypes, playing into some of the poison it represents, or intended to be an exploration of the ways spiritual, sexual, and emotional abuse plays out in these contexts. The author says he was trying to diversify the idea behind #MeToo and bring gay voices and an imperfect victim into it, so it's more the latter, but I didn't find that it was a very strong statement of anything because I couldn't quite tell which side he was on sometimes? Though now that I think about it, it is in some ways a sort of systematic way of telling the story of how someone might fall into an abusive situation, be traumatized, and find potential for healing afterwards.
Overall, I did like the book well enough and feel invested in the story. But I didn't love it. And if...any triggers around spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, rape, false reporting, relationship abuse, isolation etc etc. are an issue for you, I think you should steer clear of this one.
I read the discussion guide in the back because I found I finished the book somewhat unclear as to the author's intentions here. Like, it's a story about an ex-evangelical who was forced into conversion therapy, it's got lots of "you deserve this sexual assault, rape and abuse because you're gay" stuff going on because of that, it's trauma after trauma, and the specter of evangelicalism doesn't ever really leave - it gets a kinder re-brand toward the end. So I honestly couldn't tell if this book was operating on stereotypes, playing into some of the poison it represents, or intended to be an exploration of the ways spiritual, sexual, and emotional abuse plays out in these contexts. The author says he was trying to diversify the idea behind #MeToo and bring gay voices and an imperfect victim into it, so it's more the latter, but I didn't find that it was a very strong statement of anything because I couldn't quite tell which side he was on sometimes? Though now that I think about it, it is in some ways a sort of systematic way of telling the story of how someone might fall into an abusive situation, be traumatized, and find potential for healing afterwards.
Overall, I did like the book well enough and feel invested in the story. But I didn't love it. And if...any triggers around spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, rape, false reporting, relationship abuse, isolation etc etc. are an issue for you, I think you should steer clear of this one.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Drug use, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Alcohol
forrestalexander's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Warning: SPOILERS
I have mixed feelings about this book. I didn't know what to expect and I like the concept, but in my opinion, it didn't follow through.
As someone else said, the book is too short to properly address the multitude of issues it presented.
The book touches on:
I have mixed feelings about this book. I didn't know what to expect and I like the concept, but in my opinion, it didn't follow through.
As someone else said, the book is too short to properly address the multitude of issues it presented.
The book touches on:
- a gay main character with unaccepting parents
- religious trauma
- conversion therapy and the resulting trauma
- domestic abuse, toxic and abusive relationships
- manipulation and general abuse
- rape, sexual assault, and casual sexual harassment
- drug abuse
- suicide, suicidal thoughts
& more. There aren't enough pages in the book to have us become invested in the characters and touch on all of the above topics and do them justice - instead, it half touches on all of them and is just busy and feels cluttered. It is trying to do too much at once.
Because it was trying to cram so much into each page, I wasn't invested in the characters and it made me care less about the story overall.
Also, coming from a queer man living in bushwick from somewhat similar circumstances, I hated the main character. He relied on everyone else and did nothing but pity and feel bad for himself instead of trying to do anything to change his life. He was selfish and self-centered, and how he acted in court destroyed the lives of others to the point of no return. How I am supposed to feel any level of empathy for him, or happiness when he finally sort of gets his shit together at the end, is beyond me.
The religious trauma was a bit trite for a gay character, and I understand the second half was supposed to set it apart from other stories with similar themes - but the second half felt forced, strange, and left me weirded out. I am still not sure what the message was supposed to be, it didn't translate.
With all of that being said, I think if a few of the themes were left out and the author focused on one or two things, it could have been great. For that reason, I have no doubt the author has potential - but I hope in his next book, it feels less crammed.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Rape, and Sexual content
Moderate: Death, Drug use, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Drug abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual harassment, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Body shaming and Bullying
dalmavatai's review against another edition
Ah I usually don't dnf books this far into them but I'm just really not feeling this one. The idea behind the story is really solid: exploring the power dynamics between wealthy, successful, older gay men and young, aspiring, broke gay men and the exploitation and abuse that can happen within those relationships.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Alcohol, Confinement, Drug use, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, and Violence
kwarnimont's review against another edition
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
This was a hard read. 100% check the content warnings before giving it a go. I thought it was well written and (unfortunately) very easy to visualize what's going on. Tons of great conversation about consent and classism that unfortunately didn't have a satisfying ending. Just heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, Religious bigotry, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Rape, Kidnapping, Violence, Drug use, Drug abuse, Toxic relationship, Torture, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, and Confinement
Moderate: Classism
cherryblossomreads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Jeg har ikke så mange ord om den her endnu, men jeg var fanget og fastholdt, rørt og ødelagt, så noget har den da gjort.
Den beskrives dog som en historie, hvor et 'idyllic' forhold mellem Jonah og Richard ændrer sig til noget mørkt, men jeg følte ærligt aldrig at det var godt mellem dem, og et ødelagde lidt starten af historien for mig.
Men den er voldsom. Virkelig voldsom. Læs CW og TW (Content og Trigger Warnings) inden, du går i gang, hvis du vil være forberedt.
Den beskrives dog som en historie, hvor et 'idyllic' forhold mellem Jonah og Richard ændrer sig til noget mørkt, men jeg følte ærligt aldrig at det var godt mellem dem, og et ødelagde lidt starten af historien for mig.
Men den er voldsom. Virkelig voldsom. Læs CW og TW (Content og Trigger Warnings) inden, du går i gang, hvis du vil være forberedt.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Pedophilia, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, Violence, Sexual violence, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual content, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Classism and Suicide
bells_shelves's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
The first half of this book was absolutely incredible. I read the first two hundred pages in one sitting. However, after the trial, a lot of the plot began to grow unbelievable and unconvincing. Some things that happened were outside of one’s character traits, or just didn’t make sense, and that pulled me out of the story. I still enjoyed it, and I think a lot of the themes and overall messages discussed in the Q&A session are especially important in reading this book, especially when it comes to understanding trauma and survivorship.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Torture, Trafficking, Murder, Rape, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Violence, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, and Homophobia
jessicamarie's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Trafficking, Torture, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Confinement