villyidol's review
3.0
Yes, you've read that right.
This story begins with the world's end. Ram Rogan, former quarterback of the St. Louis Rams (naturally) wakes up to burning air and acid rain. All around people are melting. Not Ram, though. Because he jumps out of the window of his third story apartment, and right into the pool. He then gets blown out of said pool because of an erupting volcano the whole complex apparently was built upon, and gets saved by some old guy, thanks to the pretty resistent silver blanket he’s carrying. Blanket guy tells him to take care of his daughter and leave for Second Earth with her, before the old man himself melts to, well, nothing, and Ram and Gaby get picked up by some sort of space ship.
They are brought to the Redeemer, a much much much bigger spaceship that's a bit of a cross between a shopping mall and a hotel complex and had been secretly built to get the world’s elite off the planet. Just why exactly the security guards don’t realize that Ram isn’t Gaby’s father remains a mystery. But this is not a book that concerns itself too much with plausibility. If you’re looking for that, take another look at the book’s title. Just sayin‘.
Anyways, at some point someone that is not in dire need of better glasses realizes that Ram is in fact Ram the footballer and not some old and ailing guy (with a blanket), and that means trouble.
The reason for that is pretty obvious. Because as soon as the people in charge find out about the fomer star quarterback’s presence they suspect he'll mate with everyone on board and therefore screw up their carefully calculated composition of the populace. Duh.
That’s not Ram’s only problem though, as a band of religious terrorists somehow managed to get aboard the spaceship, in spite of the apparently thorough security procedures. Oh, and then there are the sharks, of course. But here it all gets a little murky and the book loses some points in the I totally believe this could actually happen department. But, details. Amiright?!
What else? There are not only sharks, but also barracudas, squid, crabs, carps and whatnot aboard the ship. Because, reasons. And then some quite ridicilous mutations happen, because … well, it’s more fun that way.
And then things get pretty messy.
Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this book. It’s not exactly high literature, in spite of everything I‘ve described above. No, it’s gory, cheesy, ridiculous fun. And it’s funny too. Though most of that stems from how outrageous it all is, rather than from actual humorous dialogue or situations. And also that it doesn’t take itself serious at any point. Which is a good thing.
You should know, though, that you’ll need a strong stomach. For the laughs, of course, but also because of the huge amount of gore. It’s not a book for the faint of heart. But if you want to give your brain a little break and you think you might enjoy some creature feature that doesn’t take itself too serious, than this just might be the book for you.
So what about the rating? I’ve changed it a couple of times already between three and four stars. I just can’t seem to decide. The book does what it sets out to do pretty well and I had several good laughs. However, there are a few stretches when it seemed the author was running out of ideas a bit. But then again, it never got boring and always kept moving at a pleasantly fast clip.
Yeah, I really don’t know. It’s quite simply 3.5 stars for me.
There you have ‘em:
********
Pre-review musings:
Space
...
Sharks
Those two simply belong together.
Well, it certainly delivered on its premise.
Why isn't this a Syfy movie?
3.5 stars
This story begins with the world's end. Ram Rogan, former quarterback of the St. Louis Rams (naturally) wakes up to burning air and acid rain. All around people are melting. Not Ram, though. Because he jumps out of the window of his third story apartment, and right into the pool. He then gets blown out of said pool because of an erupting volcano the whole complex apparently was built upon, and gets saved by some old guy, thanks to the pretty resistent silver blanket he’s carrying. Blanket guy tells him to take care of his daughter and leave for Second Earth with her, before the old man himself melts to, well, nothing, and Ram and Gaby get picked up by some sort of space ship.
They are brought to the Redeemer, a much much much bigger spaceship that's a bit of a cross between a shopping mall and a hotel complex and had been secretly built to get the world’s elite off the planet. Just why exactly the security guards don’t realize that Ram isn’t Gaby’s father remains a mystery. But this is not a book that concerns itself too much with plausibility. If you’re looking for that, take another look at the book’s title. Just sayin‘.
Anyways, at some point someone that is not in dire need of better glasses realizes that Ram is in fact Ram the footballer and not some old and ailing guy (with a blanket), and that means trouble.
The reason for that is pretty obvious. Because as soon as the people in charge find out about the fomer star quarterback’s presence they suspect he'll mate with everyone on board and therefore screw up their carefully calculated composition of the populace. Duh.
That’s not Ram’s only problem though, as a band of religious terrorists somehow managed to get aboard the spaceship, in spite of the apparently thorough security procedures. Oh, and then there are the sharks, of course. But here it all gets a little murky and the book loses some points in the I totally believe this could actually happen department. But, details. Amiright?!
What else? There are not only sharks, but also barracudas, squid, crabs, carps and whatnot aboard the ship. Because, reasons. And then some quite ridicilous mutations happen, because … well, it’s more fun that way.
And then things get pretty messy.
Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this book. It’s not exactly high literature, in spite of everything I‘ve described above. No, it’s gory, cheesy, ridiculous fun. And it’s funny too. Though most of that stems from how outrageous it all is, rather than from actual humorous dialogue or situations. And also that it doesn’t take itself serious at any point. Which is a good thing.
You should know, though, that you’ll need a strong stomach. For the laughs, of course, but also because of the huge amount of gore. It’s not a book for the faint of heart. But if you want to give your brain a little break and you think you might enjoy some creature feature that doesn’t take itself too serious, than this just might be the book for you.
So what about the rating? I’ve changed it a couple of times already between three and four stars. I just can’t seem to decide. The book does what it sets out to do pretty well and I had several good laughs. However, there are a few stretches when it seemed the author was running out of ideas a bit. But then again, it never got boring and always kept moving at a pleasantly fast clip.
Yeah, I really don’t know. It’s quite simply 3.5 stars for me.
There you have ‘em:
********
Pre-review musings:
Space
...
Sharks
Those two simply belong together.
Well, it certainly delivered on its premise.
Why isn't this a Syfy movie?
3.5 stars
More...