ophaelias's review
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Incredible book. Repetitive at times, but I felt it was necessary. He challenged quite a large part of my existing belief structure, and the overlaying of ideas across all the different rules helped me to, in part, unwrite some of the certainty and some of the idealization I held towards this belief system (especially regarding the patriarchy and capitalism). I feel that that his words genuinely come from a place of immense gratitude for what human beings have built, wonder for what human beings achieve every day, and so much reverence for what we could be if we had the tools (or the structure, or the rules) to straighten ourselves out and optimize our functioning in this world. I appreciated his optimism despite having stared at the depth of humanity’s darkness (and analyzed it at length too). It mirrors some of my own stubborn dedication to life, to the potential goodness of humanity, but he managed to deliver his thoughts in a much more realistic and practical fashion. Much of his “advice” has already helped me immensely; I feel more in control of my life, I feel less crazy about my desires, emotions, I feel more sane about being a woman, and I have a deeper understanding of myself, my relationships, my friendships, my world... and I am developing a working framework of my life. I am sure the questions he asked and addressed in the book will continue to shape me as I think about them more. Couldn’t ask for anything more in a book :)
sallysimo's review against another edition
1.0
I really tried to give this book a chance, to ignore the things JP has said since this book came out, and to leave my own political beliefs aside. I tried to be Derrida about this, and what choice do you have with someone like JP and his statements of the past years?
What I've discovered with this approach to this book: why was anyone surprised to see JP at the more right-wing side of things? The book is peppered with conservative ideology, Christian mythology and absurd arguments (e.g. that New Orleans was punished by God with the hurricane and not preparing for such things is a sin). JP either seems unaware of just how ideologically charged this book is or he chooses to ignore it to uphold his claim to write for a broader audience. Now, I have read some self-help books that all contain certain beliefs and philosophies, and only a few are explicit about it. The point of this industry is to sell something many, many times, so you can't explicitly exclude people. But JP is quite explicit about this.
Reading this book is like JP manifesting in your living room, slapping you with a steak repeatedly and telling you in a condescending tone to get it together. This approach may help some people. Some find comfort in authoritative figures, providing them with a structure and laying down rules, no questions asked! And on a basic level, I do agree with these rules. There were times when I thought "this is really helpful", there were times the anecdotes were appealing and nicely illustrated JP's message; heck, I even found myself chuckling a few times.
But the delivery doesn't sit right with me. I can live without pages and pages explaining the Bible to me (and I am interested in Christianity, but I didn't think I was reading a Christian self-help book). "He was a preacher, more than a teacher," said his former colleague. This book is the epitome of this. JP is delivering a sermon.
I can also live without the constant sidetracking. Again, in the foreword, it is claimed that this book should be accessible to a broader audience. The sidetracking makes it hard to follow, however, sometimes even eclipsing the rules themselves. Occasionally you find yourself in the middle of random ramblings and wonder: "uhm, what was the rule again?" For the sake of helping people to sort their lives out, I feel that leaving out these comments would have helped to get the main message of the book (which are the 12 rules, after all) across better.
And finally. The citations are sloppy. This is also not new in the self-help genre and this is not an academic text. But it again doesn't sit right with me for which claims JP cites sources and which claims he decides are "truisms". I also find it bad practice to back up highly controversial statements with merely one source.
Again, the rules can be helpful (and I heard variations of them during therapy and have incorporated them into my personal life long before I read this book). If JP force-feeding you his message, then patting your head and telling you you're a good boy (one of his anecdotes for raising children) helps you to get it together, godspeed. But without a critical lens, this book may put you in a very uncomfortable pipeline where at best, you find yourself frustrated (what happens if you break the rules? You have failed. JP is frank about this. You deserve to suffer because life is suffering), and at worst you end up with very questionable worldviews that may alienate you further.
My friend once asked me what my problem with JP was in one sentence. I replied, "a lack of critical self-reflection of his own beliefs and missing flexibility regarding difference".
I can only stand by this claim after reading this book.
What I've discovered with this approach to this book: why was anyone surprised to see JP at the more right-wing side of things? The book is peppered with conservative ideology, Christian mythology and absurd arguments (e.g. that New Orleans was punished by God with the hurricane and not preparing for such things is a sin). JP either seems unaware of just how ideologically charged this book is or he chooses to ignore it to uphold his claim to write for a broader audience. Now, I have read some self-help books that all contain certain beliefs and philosophies, and only a few are explicit about it. The point of this industry is to sell something many, many times, so you can't explicitly exclude people. But JP is quite explicit about this.
Reading this book is like JP manifesting in your living room, slapping you with a steak repeatedly and telling you in a condescending tone to get it together. This approach may help some people. Some find comfort in authoritative figures, providing them with a structure and laying down rules, no questions asked! And on a basic level, I do agree with these rules. There were times when I thought "this is really helpful", there were times the anecdotes were appealing and nicely illustrated JP's message; heck, I even found myself chuckling a few times.
But the delivery doesn't sit right with me. I can live without pages and pages explaining the Bible to me (and I am interested in Christianity, but I didn't think I was reading a Christian self-help book). "He was a preacher, more than a teacher," said his former colleague. This book is the epitome of this. JP is delivering a sermon.
I can also live without the constant sidetracking. Again, in the foreword, it is claimed that this book should be accessible to a broader audience. The sidetracking makes it hard to follow, however, sometimes even eclipsing the rules themselves. Occasionally you find yourself in the middle of random ramblings and wonder: "uhm, what was the rule again?" For the sake of helping people to sort their lives out, I feel that leaving out these comments would have helped to get the main message of the book (which are the 12 rules, after all) across better.
And finally. The citations are sloppy. This is also not new in the self-help genre and this is not an academic text. But it again doesn't sit right with me for which claims JP cites sources and which claims he decides are "truisms". I also find it bad practice to back up highly controversial statements with merely one source.
Again, the rules can be helpful (and I heard variations of them during therapy and have incorporated them into my personal life long before I read this book). If JP force-feeding you his message, then patting your head and telling you you're a good boy (one of his anecdotes for raising children) helps you to get it together, godspeed. But without a critical lens, this book may put you in a very uncomfortable pipeline where at best, you find yourself frustrated (what happens if you break the rules? You have failed. JP is frank about this. You deserve to suffer because life is suffering), and at worst you end up with very questionable worldviews that may alienate you further.
My friend once asked me what my problem with JP was in one sentence. I replied, "a lack of critical self-reflection of his own beliefs and missing flexibility regarding difference".
I can only stand by this claim after reading this book.
jahans's review against another edition
Too padded with biblical crap which adds nothing new to the essays, instead they serve as sickening repetition to keep the book a standard length whereas it should be a third of its length.
dorothy_gale's review
1.0
I only finished HALF of this book (about 7.5 hours). The author tried to pack far too much into each rule. By the time I got to the end of the chapter or rule, I forgot what the rule was! There were definitely interesting tidbits throughout, but I've decided that if a book is too painful to finish, it automatically gets one star. 2.5 months went by and I couldn't bring myself to pick it back up. I tried. Spoiler Alert... below are the 12 rules:
1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
10. Be precise in your speech
11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
10. Be precise in your speech
11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
ikon_biotin_jungle_lumen's review
There’s so much I could say about this book, but I’ll keep it brief. 1) JBP has a thorough grounding in Christian theology that does him great service in his search for truth. He rejects the ultimate truth of Salvation through Jesus Christ, and is thereby doomed to be ultimately unfulfilled in his search. It grieves me to see such a powerful mind miss the mark in this way. 2) I’m grateful for the appreciation for Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky JBP’s reflections instilled in me. I tend to ignore the Russian post-classical authors, and this helped fill that gap for me somewhat. 3) These rules (perhaps 12 humanist “Theses” in the style of Luther) though inevitably flawed, all resonate with me on some level because they’re rooted in the biblical framework of morality.
Would recommend to the firmly rooted Christian as one of best fruits of contemporary humanist wisdom. In this era of division and polarization, listening closely to those who are different than you is absolutely essential.
Would recommend to the firmly rooted Christian as one of best fruits of contemporary humanist wisdom. In this era of division and polarization, listening closely to those who are different than you is absolutely essential.
trent24's review
5.0
Best parts of this book:
- encourages you to find meaning and purpose through responsibility
- understand that life is hard and will be hard
- see the wisdom of great minds like Freud, Jung, Dostoyevsky, Nietsche explained in a tangible way
- connect the great truths of archetypal stories from religious works to classic stories, especially insightful for someone coming from a Christian tradition. If you didn't, then it does a great job highlighting the signifance of so many biblical stories.
- overall uplifting and intellectual, and a novel approach to the self-help world (hate to even call it that).
- his personal stories are great and I progressed through those parts the fastest
Cons
- a few sections were a tad lengthy, but worth pushing through
- encourages you to find meaning and purpose through responsibility
- understand that life is hard and will be hard
- see the wisdom of great minds like Freud, Jung, Dostoyevsky, Nietsche explained in a tangible way
- connect the great truths of archetypal stories from religious works to classic stories, especially insightful for someone coming from a Christian tradition. If you didn't, then it does a great job highlighting the signifance of so many biblical stories.
- overall uplifting and intellectual, and a novel approach to the self-help world (hate to even call it that).
- his personal stories are great and I progressed through those parts the fastest
Cons
- a few sections were a tad lengthy, but worth pushing through