Reviews tagging 'Chronic illness'

Cows by Matthew Stokoe

1 review

specificwonderland's review

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dark fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
In a sense, I dnf this book. I put it down at 50-55% and did not continue on. In another sense, I did finish it. I reached the end point for me. I've spent years reading fucked up things, watching fucked up things, listening to fucked up things. I wanted to prove to myself I could. I wasn't soft or affected. I was hard and wizened. Fuck all that. 

I read some reviews of this book before I quit, wondering if it would turn out to be fruitful or have some kind of 'good' ending. What I read was not encouraging. To paraphrase, "this is a less good Animal Farm". Yeah, I don't need to debase myself like this. It's ok that I'm soft. It's ok that I get disgusted and traumatized reading about a guy fucking a girl while he guides a colonoscopy camera up (really really up) her anal canal far into her intestines while they both listlessly watch the camera footage. It's ok that I don't want to read about 6 guys punching holes in the same cow while it's alive, so they can fuck the cow holes and then murder the cow so it tenses around their dicks before they finally stop its suffering. It's ok I don't want to hear about a sadistic mother feeding her adult son rotten sheep intestines, then him making her eat his literal shit, on a plate, over and over again. And the poor helpless dog. 

Wherever this book is going, it's ok that I don't want to go. 

From what I did read, I felt it was one dimensional, the detached third person narration of an emotionally delayed (however rightfully so) young man. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. I paid for it , and don't even want to leave it in a FLL without a content warning on it. I feel like Tender is the Flesh tackles these ideas in less harsh ways while still being visceral. 

Some questions I have at this juncture. The biggest question I have is, was the writer in on this? Did the writer do an amazing job at a character study of a depraved man or is the only way a writer could harness this much depravity is if he himself were that depraved man, saying whatever thoughts he thinks. If it's the former, there's some value in this level of repulsion. If it's the latter, I hope to never cross his path in a dark alley.

I do think the animal cruelty question opens an ethical line of questioning. Ok we can all agree THIS is too much, this is beyond the boundaries of what a cow should have to go through. How do we feel (singularly, as a society, or from the author's Australia versus my America) about factory farms? Most of us eat meat, isn't that cruel? Most of us distance ourselves as much as we can from our living breathing food. This book makes the reader look. 

Humans are disgusting, even if we're not unfeeling toxic monsters. We do horrible things to animals. And guess what, we do them to each other. Men rape women. People bring guns to schools, malls, concerts, movies. America is a hella racist place to be for a person of color. England colonized a lot of the world. We treat each other horribly. Is this book beyond that? (Resounding yes for me.) 

And my final question is, if it's not for me, who is this book for? I think it's for someone who wants to be pushed to their limits. I love a sad book that destroys me. If there's an audience who craves that feeling of being destroyed and levelled by a disgusting work, this is the book for that audience. 

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