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syntaxx's review against another edition
Returned to library and note they no longer carry the ebook
raegold's review against another edition
3.0
A book about divorce, that’s really not about divorce. I’m a bit confused about the book’s message - - she loves her husband, but she’s not in love with her husband. But they still live together, have separate bedrooms and occasionally have sex. Marriage is a relationship, each one is different, it’s work. Hey, you do you.
kimball_hansen's review against another edition
2.0
2.5 stars. The author (a loser gen x-er) describes the beginning of the book on marriage the way I imagine my ex-wife would. It's one way to view marriage/life albeit a very flawed way.
Grief comes by expecting life to be different than what it is.
Grief comes by expecting life to be different than what it is.
k8can's review
2.0
I love the idea of this book.. I don't know what I was looking for here, maybe just wisdom from a person who's experienced marriage and knows more than myself? But I feel like I just couldn't relate to the things she expected to find in her relationship. I couldn't get into this one, unfortunately.
90sinmyheart's review
5.0
It took me a long time to finish this book. I had to let some of the chapters marinate before I could continue. It is exactly the right mix between heartfelt and sardonic and introspective and deep and just fucking witty as fuck and any of this chapters could have been internet viral.The pandemic epilogue was the cherry on top of this already really nourishing read. Look, I'm bad at writing and that's why I don't write books. I asked the library to buy a copy even though I already bought my own. Like Cheryl Strayed said, wanting to leave is enough.
nerissassippi's review
2.0
I’m on the fence about this personal story of a marriage and divorce. There were bits that were funny and parts that were insightful, but a lot of it was self-absorbed navel gazing.
kimmeyer's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
lattelibrarian's review against another edition
3.0
"Feeling unhinged at fifty is quite different than feeling unhinged at, say, twenty-eight. At twenty-eight you can arrogantly assume you have loads of runway left. Unhinged is even a bit adorable when you're that age, like you're the lead character in your own rom-com. If you're fifty and unhinged, your movie is going to be a drama and it will not be a good one."
I checked out this book either just as I was about to or immediately after I ended my two and a half year relationship. It's not the twenty years that Harrington discusses in her text, but it was my longest relationship to date. I found her "problem" to be the same as mine: He's a nice guy, but sometimes being nice just isn't enough. It's disappointing and dismaying. How could being nice be a problem? Why isn't it enough? And am I a cruel, heartless void of a person for breaking up with someone who really doesn't have anything disagreeable to him?
Harrington chronicles her views of marriage from childhood and viewing her own parents' divorce through breaking the news of her divorce to her children and the way it affected her and her kids. This was interspersed with diary entries from her youth, adding a bit of humorous flair to her essays.
(Also, a nod to the quote above, I'm turning 28 today and feeling quite unhinged. I'm rather excited to see what it will feel like in 22 years.)
From the tales of her youth working at an adult shop through her move across America and finding the perfect yet bedraggled house with her husband, nothing about her story comes across as the picture perfect idea one might associate with the word "normal". But that's her point--there is nothing normal about a life, nothing normal about marriage, nothing normal about divorce. Certainly there might be some traditions associated with it, or perhaps some stereotypes, but a relationship is just that: a relationship. And sometimes, those happen to come to an end.
She argues that endings should not necessarily fill others with dismay or pity. Sometimes they are natural and sometimes they are necessary. It doesn't always mean the pair loves each other any less, or that they love what they have built together any less. It's just that it is no longer working out in the way they had expected. And that is okay.
That is okay, I tell myself, three months after breaking up with my boyfriend. It is okay for Harrington. It is okay for me. Good things can come to an end, and it doesn't make them any less good.
I checked out this book either just as I was about to or immediately after I ended my two and a half year relationship. It's not the twenty years that Harrington discusses in her text, but it was my longest relationship to date. I found her "problem" to be the same as mine: He's a nice guy, but sometimes being nice just isn't enough. It's disappointing and dismaying. How could being nice be a problem? Why isn't it enough? And am I a cruel, heartless void of a person for breaking up with someone who really doesn't have anything disagreeable to him?
Harrington chronicles her views of marriage from childhood and viewing her own parents' divorce through breaking the news of her divorce to her children and the way it affected her and her kids. This was interspersed with diary entries from her youth, adding a bit of humorous flair to her essays.
(Also, a nod to the quote above, I'm turning 28 today and feeling quite unhinged. I'm rather excited to see what it will feel like in 22 years.)
From the tales of her youth working at an adult shop through her move across America and finding the perfect yet bedraggled house with her husband, nothing about her story comes across as the picture perfect idea one might associate with the word "normal". But that's her point--there is nothing normal about a life, nothing normal about marriage, nothing normal about divorce. Certainly there might be some traditions associated with it, or perhaps some stereotypes, but a relationship is just that: a relationship. And sometimes, those happen to come to an end.
She argues that endings should not necessarily fill others with dismay or pity. Sometimes they are natural and sometimes they are necessary. It doesn't always mean the pair loves each other any less, or that they love what they have built together any less. It's just that it is no longer working out in the way they had expected. And that is okay.
That is okay, I tell myself, three months after breaking up with my boyfriend. It is okay for Harrington. It is okay for me. Good things can come to an end, and it doesn't make them any less good.