Reviews with content warning for Emotional abuse - Stay Gold

Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

28 reviews

paydendyer's review against another edition

medium-paced

Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No

2.5

Wish I would've read the other reviews before reading this. It started out good but had quite a lot of triggering things, especially for it being a YA novel. The ending felt very rushed, and the hate crime towards the end was alarming and graphic. I didn't like how the book focused so much on Pony not being out, and how everyone around him pressured him to be out. I think the author was maybe attempting to make a point of why it's not always safe for trans people to be out with the scene towards the end, but it just felt like a terrible way to do that. I don't like the idea that trans people have to be educating other people- some people choose to but nobody should have to. I didn't like Georgia's character and I definitely didn't like how it took Pony being hate crimed to make her want to be with him. Also the dad's words were very triggering as well. Realistic I guess, but just not the type of trans media I was searching for.

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readingwithkaitlyn's review against another edition

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challenging fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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grace_koalateareads's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

“We can’t change those people’s minds. We just love louder and harder than they can hate.”

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith was a difficult yet important read. The story is split into Pony’s (a trans boy) and Georgia’s (a cis girl) point of view. Both are seniors at a Texas high school just outside of Dallas. For Pony it’s all about going “stealth” and just being a normal guy, for Georgia it’s about cheerleading and being the person people expect her to be. I loved both of them so much, they had great personalities and felt real and genuine. I loved the puns, the banter and the deep and meaningful conversations.

“When the school treats trans students like they’re different, it gives the green light for the other kids to do the same, but kids are way meaner.”

The side characters were where my discomfort started, especially with Max, Pony’s “out and proud” best friend, who came across very “black and white” and wanting him to share things on social media that made him feel uncomfortable. I know the ending sort of cleared those things up, but it felt too rushed and too shiny (or gold, if you will) like it wasn’t real. Being “out and proud” is great, it’s awesome, but not if it isn’t safe to do so. It also made me uncomfortable with the amount of trans and queer slurs, especially as they didn’t need to be written down to get the point across.

“Some days, I barely think about being trans. And other days, it’s an obstacle course.”

Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the book, just not as much as I was expecting. A lot of really heavy topics were covered, such as transphobia, misgendering and forced outting - these weren’t the reason for my lower rating, but more how they were handled/written especially when a character was the one causing said topics. I was definitely hooked and finished the book in just over a day. It’s one that I think a lot of people, who don’t understand what being trans means, should read, however, overall it just made me feel drained.

“I raise my glass in toast and say (but not too loudly, “Here’s to being trans in Texas.””

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loiseigenraam's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny informative inspiring sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I really appreciate this book for the story it tells, but it being a YA story I'm just 'too old' to really appreciate the teenage drama that is going on in the book. Things like the prank war between the football team and the cheerleading squad or the 'jokes' Georgia made really had me rolling my eyes.

Besides that, I did enjoy the book and the story. I found it very interesting, and heart wrenching, to see the world through a transgender boy's eyes. I really liked Pony as a character too. Lets just not talk about his name though... I also sobbed my eyes out ofc. I agree with all the reviews saying this book should come with trigger warnings. Please look those up if you have any triggers before you read this book.

I definitely recommend this book for the transgender POV and learning more about that. And if you're a younger reader, you might also enjoy the whole story around that too.

Something that annoyed me very much was Pony's friend Max. I understand him wanting Pony to be out and proud and wanting him to be an advocate. But as someone who’s gone through the same process and is also a receiver of transphobia and harassment, you’d think he’d have more of an understanding towards Pony’s hesitation to be out and would kindly nudge him in the right direction while respecting his choices and his personal timeline, instead of actually putting an ultimatum on their friendship.

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wrinnola's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful lighthearted reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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ian_loves_dragons's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.5

The main cis-trans romance in this book could be described as “why I’m t4t,” except we’re supposed to root for them to be together

-sincerely, a frustrated trans person

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whosfernn's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I knew almost nothing about this book when I picked it up. Looking at the cover and the blurb, I assumed it would be a cute coming-of-age romance. What it actually is is probably the best, most moving tale of a trans boy I've ever read. It's a very realistic look at the trans experience, especially how it can be to be trans in southern America. Beautiful. One of my favourites, probably my favourite read of 2023 so far. Please read this book.

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journey2's review against another edition

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Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

Sometimes I need to take my own advice. If you are not loving a book...it's okay to quit it. And you probably should.
But I wanted to see how it ended.

~☆~ minor spoilers~☆~

Stay Gold was not a good read for me. I found this book frustrating. The characters annoyed me and everyone seemed extremely superficial.

Pony is relentless about the "friend zone" thing with Georgia. She continues to say no to his advances and he continues to pursue. Yes, she likes him, but she has clearly said no and he will not give up and keeps asking for more; including love bombing her with a grand gesture, until he can eventually win her over.

Our main love interest, Georgia, is so obsessed with her image and social standing right til nearly the end and her change of heart is supposed to be endearing, but by the time we got there I was just so tired of how fake she was.

I know that in high school everybody's figuring out who they are and who they want to be, but absolutely every character was so fake and two dimensional. In the end, superficial apologies and excuses like "it's just locker room talk" etc seem to 'fix' every off-colour comment or remark. Pony's dad was absolutely horrible to him throughout the entire book and his mom was kind of just complacent and didn't fight for him. A couple sentences at the very end of the book are supposed to redeem him but they just felt forced. Even though lots of things ended up being happy or at least happier, I found this book extremely problematic, frustrating and annoying and I do not recommend it.

I'm curious as to what the purpose of the storyline about Pony's job served. It didn't really go anywhere except to allow Pony to be nosy and intrusive into somebody else's business and then he got to have a warm fuzzy feeling afterwards. On that note, Pony continued to stick his nose into business that is not his own and it was very annoying. There was a time when Pony and Georgia stuck their noses into something so personal that I actually took time away from the book because I was exasperated. He was rewarded for it eventually, but it was annoying to read.

This book was 100% not for me and was just completely filled with red flags.
I could go on, but I won't!

Also it's list of trigger warnings is a mile long

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cheezyreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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that_bookworm_guy's review against another edition

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dark emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition.

First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.

First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this.

Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person.

The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning.

If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark.

There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname.

I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.

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