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bookishkellyn's review against another edition
challenging
informative
4.0
Black women are historically dedicated and remaining single due to scarcity of eligible Black male partners (despite consistently “marrying down”). Marriage (across the board) has declined as it has become less about necessity and more about status and personal fulfillment. The author’s suggestion: Black women opening themselves up to interracial marriage is the solution to their imbalance. The research and tie-in interviews didn’t feel like propaganda, but they did feel outdated as the racial, political, and economic landscape has significantly warped since this book’s publication in 2011. I feel like if you’re on social media and have done some introspection, then nothing in this book will feel new.
sunshine608's review
3.0
Overall this book is pretty depressing for an African American women to read, whether married or single. All we heard from were single and divorced women. No notes from married women and especially married men or even single men.
I'm also not sure how I feel about the conclusion, that the solution is for African American women to date and marry interracial in hopes of attracting back African American males. It seems like a big fallacy.
I did enjoy the chapters on "mixed marriages".
I'm also not sure how I feel about the conclusion, that the solution is for African American women to date and marry interracial in hopes of attracting back African American males. It seems like a big fallacy.
I did enjoy the chapters on "mixed marriages".
ebonyutley's review
2.0
I was biased about Is Marriage for White People? before I began reading. The popular culture perception (round this way) was yet another black man telling black women that they should settle for something other than their desires in order to marry. I didn’t like the fact that another man is pimping, I mean profiting from black women’s relationship woes. I didn’t like that the brass ring is marriage (as if all all black women want is to get married insert eye roll and side eye). I didn’t like the fact that in media his message seemed primarily to be that the keepers of this elusive brass ring are white men (as if they don’t have control over enough already). So yeah, no high expectations here, but before I write my own marriage stuff, I had to survey the terrain and to my surprise, the book isn’t terrible.
It’s a good primer for the history of black relationships. It systematically walks down the black history aisle with data to support his key points. The anecdotes from his interviews make the book a livelier read. The arguments are pretty solid because they come from black women who believe them. I don’t have to agree but I concede there are women who feel this way. I thought his arguments about the structural problems that plague black marriages were right on. The argument follows that if marrying down creates black mixed marriages then why not marry out? We’re already mixing. It’s just that the last prescription for more black women to marry out so more black women can marry black seemed suspect. If the goal was to advocate for interracial marriage then why not let it just be that? Or is Banks really trying to save black marriage by dumping the outliers that make it difficult? The super successful ones should marry out (instead of down) so that the less successful ones can marry (up a little). The prescription is perplexing to me. But then I’m also not an advocate of everyone needs to be married to be happy. One would only care about the book as long as s/he accepted the premise that marriage is the relational ideal. Which I don’t. Which means there’s no need to get up in arms. Yes, there are lots of nonblack men to whom black women could marry if they wanted. Or they could marry black men. Or they could not get married at all. Options abound.
It’s a good primer for the history of black relationships. It systematically walks down the black history aisle with data to support his key points. The anecdotes from his interviews make the book a livelier read. The arguments are pretty solid because they come from black women who believe them. I don’t have to agree but I concede there are women who feel this way. I thought his arguments about the structural problems that plague black marriages were right on. The argument follows that if marrying down creates black mixed marriages then why not marry out? We’re already mixing. It’s just that the last prescription for more black women to marry out so more black women can marry black seemed suspect. If the goal was to advocate for interracial marriage then why not let it just be that? Or is Banks really trying to save black marriage by dumping the outliers that make it difficult? The super successful ones should marry out (instead of down) so that the less successful ones can marry (up a little). The prescription is perplexing to me. But then I’m also not an advocate of everyone needs to be married to be happy. One would only care about the book as long as s/he accepted the premise that marriage is the relational ideal. Which I don’t. Which means there’s no need to get up in arms. Yes, there are lots of nonblack men to whom black women could marry if they wanted. Or they could marry black men. Or they could not get married at all. Options abound.
a_briggs's review
3.0
"Is Marriage for White People?" delves into the complex issue of Black women's perpetual singlehood. Upon diving into the book's content, I found it to be a fascinating examination of the decline in Black women's marriages, even though it didn't present entirely new theories. Considering the book's publication in 2011 and my reading in 2023, it's essential to acknowledge the changing landscape and evolving perspectives on relationships.
One notable recommendation in the book was for Black women to "marry out" as a solution to the disparity in Black men dating outside their race. However, I personally struggled with this suggestion, as it may not be fair to ask Black women to make such a decision, especially given their genuine reasons for wanting to marry within their race. The book could have benefitted from including more recommendations or discussions that also involved Black men's perspectives to provide a more comprehensive viewpoint on the issue.
One notable recommendation in the book was for Black women to "marry out" as a solution to the disparity in Black men dating outside their race. However, I personally struggled with this suggestion, as it may not be fair to ask Black women to make such a decision, especially given their genuine reasons for wanting to marry within their race. The book could have benefitted from including more recommendations or discussions that also involved Black men's perspectives to provide a more comprehensive viewpoint on the issue.
hmrick's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Important read for all black women.
rbrown88's review against another edition
3.0
The book's topic was extremely interesting but the author lacked to provide other evidence. It was as if he shared a point and missed other information that could contradict his statement. However, the topics he was addressing in the book are difficult to discuss in a short amount of pages. I would be interesting to see a follow-up on this book research
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