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fkshg8465's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I had a really horribly difficult day at work - the kind that makes me need to have a really good cry. I give this book a five because it gave me a good reason to let myself cry. I don’t know what a diffident experience I would’ve had with this book on another day, but because I read it today and because I had the day I did, I give it a five.
I would love to see the actual journal Clover kept as a separate book.
The only thing that bothered me was she was so clear on the ethics of sharing her deceased clients’ secrets, but she no qualms about blabbing about her loving clients’ secrets. However, it would’ve been a very different story without this blabbing.
The best characters were the elderly - Claudia, Bessie, Leo, and grandpa. I didn’t love any of the other characters. Oh wait. I did really like Hugo. I think I would like them more if I spent more time with them - like in a sequel.
I would love to see the actual journal Clover kept as a separate book.
The only thing that bothered me was she was so clear on the ethics of sharing her deceased clients’ secrets, but she no qualms about blabbing about her loving clients’ secrets. However, it would’ve been a very different story without this blabbing.
The best characters were the elderly - Claudia, Bessie, Leo, and grandpa. I didn’t love any of the other characters. Oh wait. I did really like Hugo. I think I would like them more if I spent more time with them - like in a sequel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Cancer, Alcohol, Terminal illness, Death of parent, Death, and Sexism
wcont's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
One of my favorite books of the year- my heart wants to give it 5 stars, my brain wants to give it 4. I'm deferring to my spirit to split the difference and landing at a 4.5.
The author does a great job of putting you in the mind of Death Doula Clover who is put simply, a hot mess. She's regularly unlikeable but also painfully relatable and interesting. I laughed, I cried and once I was finished I felt such a life affirming joy in my soul (which is quite impressive for a book dealing with death.)
The characters are largely well rounded and complex and the moment to moment writing clicked for me. My only major complaint is that the narrative happens almost entirely in the 3rd act (seriously the pacing is a little rough.) But the thing is- it doesn't really matter. My eyes were too misty and my heart was too full at the end to care because the message and sentiment behind the story was just that strong. And in a story about the messiness of one's journey being what's beautiful about it- that's pretty fitting.
The author does a great job of putting you in the mind of Death Doula Clover who is put simply, a hot mess. She's regularly unlikeable but also painfully relatable and interesting. I laughed, I cried and once I was finished I felt such a life affirming joy in my soul (which is quite impressive for a book dealing with death.)
The characters are largely well rounded and complex and the moment to moment writing clicked for me. My only major complaint is that the narrative happens almost entirely in the 3rd act (seriously the pacing is a little rough.) But the thing is- it doesn't really matter. My eyes were too misty and my heart was too full at the end to care because the message and sentiment behind the story was just that strong. And in a story about the messiness of one's journey being what's beautiful about it- that's pretty fitting.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death and Death of parent
mob333's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Grief, and Death of parent
marzipanwonderland's review
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death and Death of parent
faulknerd865's review against another edition
I was bored. The main character wasn't all that likeable, and I just wasn't invested in her story. Also, the idea of being a "death doula" didn't seem all that strange to me, but the whole premise is that it's this horrible off-putting thing, so I just didn't buy it. It just wasn't for me, I guess.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Death of parent
_hannah_may_'s review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Terminal illness
ukponge's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent and Death
savtank's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
This beautiful book will stay with me forever. I cried, I laughed, and I can’t recommend it enough.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death and Death of parent
maeverose's review against another edition
4.0
TL;DR: A fun escape, with a simple but important message, even if that message comes with an assumed level of privilege.
I expected it to be a little more focused on Clover’s job, we only actually see three of her clients, most of the book is focused on her own life. But I didn’t mind. I do think the overall message - live life to it’s fullest - was pretty simple and repeated a lot, but it is an important reminder. I didn’t know death doulas were a real thing until I looked it up after discovering this book, and it was really interesting to learn about it. I think thats a really beautiful service to exist, and I might try to learn more about it now. Hugo 2.0 was a little too comically perfect, though I still liked him.
I related a little too much to Clover. On one hand, it’s nice to read stories like this where people in similar situations to me finally meet people and get to live their life, because (much like Clover) I can live vicariously through them, on the other hand, it often simplifies things in an unrealistic (privileged) way. I wish it were that easy to just force yourself to socialize and then bam you have friends but when you’re multiply disabled (especially in ways that directly affect socializing) it’s much harder. This isn’t a complaint about the book, just some thoughts that I have after reading it. I feel like, as depressing as it is, it’s important to include the fact that not everyone is able to ‘live their life to it’s fullest’, for reasons that are out of their control. It’s a privilege to be able to do that. A lot of the time you need money (for therapy if you have social anxiety, for food/drinks/events where you’d be going to socialize, to travel and try new things), free time, a job to make said money, a mode of transportation, etc. Most stories like this ignore that. As an escape it was a good book, as a piece of advice it’s unfortunately not something I can easily apply to my life, which leaves me feeling a bit :/
I related a little too much to Clover. On one hand, it’s nice to read stories like this where people in similar situations to me finally meet people and get to live their life, because (much like Clover) I can live vicariously through them, on the other hand, it often simplifies things in an unrealistic (privileged) way. I wish it were that easy to just force yourself to socialize and then bam you have friends but when you’re multiply disabled (especially in ways that directly affect socializing) it’s much harder. This isn’t a complaint about the book, just some thoughts that I have after reading it. I feel like, as depressing as it is, it’s important to include the fact that not everyone is able to ‘live their life to it’s fullest’, for reasons that are out of their control. It’s a privilege to be able to do that. A lot of the time you need money (for therapy if you have social anxiety, for food/drinks/events where you’d be going to socialize, to travel and try new things), free time, a job to make said money, a mode of transportation, etc. Most stories like this ignore that. As an escape it was a good book, as a piece of advice it’s unfortunately not something I can easily apply to my life, which leaves me feeling a bit :/
Also I found it incredibly uncomfortable that Clover spied on her neighbor’s in their homes with binoculars… Like Sylvie didn’t even seem creeped out by that. It was so weird.
Quotes:
“I liked to feel the icy breeze nibbling at my cheeks as I walked, to watch the cloud materialize then vanish with each of my breaths — confirmations that I was still here, still living.”
“It frustrated me that society was so determined to quantify grief, as if time could erase the potency of love. Or, on the other hand, how it dictated that grief for someone you knew fleetingly should be equally as fleeting.”
“An incongruous tug of war between the need for solitude and the craving for emotional connection— I didn’t want company, but I didn’t want to feel alone.”
“- the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”
Quotes:
“I liked to feel the icy breeze nibbling at my cheeks as I walked, to watch the cloud materialize then vanish with each of my breaths — confirmations that I was still here, still living.”
“It frustrated me that society was so determined to quantify grief, as if time could erase the potency of love. Or, on the other hand, how it dictated that grief for someone you knew fleetingly should be equally as fleeting.”
“An incongruous tug of war between the need for solitude and the craving for emotional connection— I didn’t want company, but I didn’t want to feel alone.”
“- the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Death of parent, Grief, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Bullying, Medical content, Excrement, and Stalking
Minor: Alcoholism, Child death, Fatphobia, Miscarriage, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship
Alzheimers mentionvagrantheather's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
After losing both parents in an accident and witnessing the sudden death of a teacher, Clover's morbid fascination with death has her pegged as a bit of a weird kid. Rejected by her peers, she builds walls to protect her emotions. Twenty years later she has a thriving career as a death doula and is perfectly fine, if lonely, thank you very much. A series of events lands her working with the elderly Claudia, and the circumstances around finding her closure highlight for Clover how much she has excluded from her own life.
This is such a lovely story. I had never heard of death doulas or death cafés. I loved Clover and identified with her a lot. The romance was well done. The friendship building felt natural. All in all, a rather hopeful discussion around death and the celebration of life, packaged in a delightful read.
I did notice that the author structured a lot of sentences, "As I (whatever), I (whatevered)," which I found inelegant.
This is such a lovely story. I had never heard of death doulas or death cafés. I loved Clover and identified with her a lot. The romance was well done. The friendship building felt natural. All in all, a rather hopeful discussion around death and the celebration of life, packaged in a delightful read.
I did notice that the author structured a lot of sentences, "As I (whatever), I (whatevered)," which I found inelegant.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Grief
Minor: Death of parent and Alcohol