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johnbittles's review against another edition
emotional
informative
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
3.0
On a whim Valerie buys a notebook and begins writing her diary in secret from her family. Known affectionately as 'mama' her family don't see her as a person,cannot fathom that she might have secrets, desires or a hidden life. The diary is a way of recovering her identity, being more than a mother and a wife. Over time, she develops a relationship with her boss. Could this be an escape from her life?
This was OK. The writing style, while effective, didn't work for me. I know lots of people with impeccable taste who love this so I am happy to concede that this might just be the case of a great book that just didn't work for me.
This was OK. The writing style, while effective, didn't work for me. I know lots of people with impeccable taste who love this so I am happy to concede that this might just be the case of a great book that just didn't work for me.
sarahsadiesmith's review against another edition
5.0
This book is very much in the venn diagram of things I like in a book. We've a female Italian author, older than me, who is not a happy camper. Basically the holy trinity. And it did not disappoint. The narrator Valeria is a middle aged mother of two almost adult children Riccardo and Mirella. Married to Michele they live in a small apartment and Valeria doesn't have a drawer to herself much less a room. She buys a notebook and this becomes her diary, the entries of which comprise the novel. If you aren't an over thinker with a tendency towards catastrophising/paranoia you might not get sweet Valeria. If you haven't felt misunderstood or unvalued or taken for granted you might not get along with her. If you feel trapped or held in place, maybe you've spent years making yourself small and second to everyone else you and this novel will get along okay. It's a passively angry book, it's about the struggle between an outward subservient persona at odds with an interior self that wants to break free. The quiet anguish between settling for the conventional patriarchal life you've led for others to the detriment of your own happiness versus upending your life to live on your own terms. It is very good on the dichotomy between what you say and how you feel. Ricarrdo and Michele go from being sympathetic to I would like Elena Ferrante to come along with her sharp little ways and give them a piece of her mind, De Cespedes does not give you that payoff, rather effectively though she pushes the claustrophobia of Valeria back onto the reader, showing the life the narrator is going to have, the lack of autonomy from being trapped in a generation that admires appearance and how things look as opposed to how things are. To care what others think over how you feel. Mirella offers the counterpoint to this view and her life is the one you want Valeria to have. It gives the hope that things can change. It's a very good book. 5/5. Ps It's also a book club book (Mexico) and I had been talking myself into going but I don't think my little heart can take an argument. I've a feeling there will be people who love this book but there might be louder people who don't. And that is fine, not everyone likes everything, but I don't quite have it in me to feel daft and wrong which is what sometimes happens. I am not in the sturdiest of boats at the minute. So for the Mexicans who have read this far I'll probably not see you tomorrow. And if I do and my nemesis is there and he hates this book I might need smuggled out the back. Maybe he'll love it. Maybe he won't be there. Maybe he's a little Ricarrdo. I'd throw in one of Elena's words here too.
elena_1902's review against another edition
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.75
xzainaby's review against another edition
5.0
Such a stunning read!
The book dives into identity, gender roles, patriarchy, relationships, societal expectations, and many more concepts. They all unite cohesively, resulting in a unique story. While the story has several elements, the one that grabbed my attention the most is the presentation of motherhood within society. A mother is seen solely as a mother, nothing more.
Valerie struggles to find time to write in her secret notebook. She has to hide it away from everyone, including her husband, and can’t even admit that she has a notebook of her own where she writes her thoughts and beliefs.
“I always have to pretend to be thinking about practical things, and this fiction wears me out. If I said I’m thinking about a moral or religious or political problem. Maybe they would start laughing at me, affectionately mocking me, as they did the night I insisted on my right to keep a diary.”
Valerie, like any human being, aspires to have her thoughts to express them, and to critically think about them.
However, being a mother, Valerie is expected to overlook her individuality and personal aspirations to prioritize her children.
Even her daughter, Mirella does not think that Valerie deserves to have a diary. It could be a sign of internalized societal bias, because Mirella resists conforming to societal expectations, and desire independence. Yet she thinks about her mother this way.
Also, let us not forget the depiction of patriarchal norms within the society. Michelle, being the husband, is always the one who knows the best, and Valerie, being the wife, has always to obey no matter what she thinks. In the end, it’s Michelle’s call and she will have to act as he orders. Valerie “had only to trust, to obey.” In the end, you can never forget that “in a marriage, there has to be one that commands, and one who obeys.”
*** SPOILER ***
Finally, I'm happy with the ending, it's a realistic ending, not a fairytale ending. With the contradiction of Valerie's thoughts and the process to discover herself, it would not be logical to end the story otherwise.
The book dives into identity, gender roles, patriarchy, relationships, societal expectations, and many more concepts. They all unite cohesively, resulting in a unique story. While the story has several elements, the one that grabbed my attention the most is the presentation of motherhood within society. A mother is seen solely as a mother, nothing more.
Valerie struggles to find time to write in her secret notebook. She has to hide it away from everyone, including her husband, and can’t even admit that she has a notebook of her own where she writes her thoughts and beliefs.
“I always have to pretend to be thinking about practical things, and this fiction wears me out. If I said I’m thinking about a moral or religious or political problem. Maybe they would start laughing at me, affectionately mocking me, as they did the night I insisted on my right to keep a diary.”
Valerie, like any human being, aspires to have her thoughts to express them, and to critically think about them.
However, being a mother, Valerie is expected to overlook her individuality and personal aspirations to prioritize her children.
Even her daughter, Mirella does not think that Valerie deserves to have a diary. It could be a sign of internalized societal bias, because Mirella resists conforming to societal expectations, and desire independence. Yet she thinks about her mother this way.
Also, let us not forget the depiction of patriarchal norms within the society. Michelle, being the husband, is always the one who knows the best, and Valerie, being the wife, has always to obey no matter what she thinks. In the end, it’s Michelle’s call and she will have to act as he orders. Valerie “had only to trust, to obey.” In the end, you can never forget that “in a marriage, there has to be one that commands, and one who obeys.”
*** SPOILER ***
Finally, I'm happy with the ending, it's a realistic ending, not a fairytale ending. With the contradiction of Valerie's thoughts and the process to discover herself, it would not be logical to end the story otherwise.
notellawilliams's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
really enjoyed the writing, but a slower read for me which shows I wasn’t obsesseddd with it. loved the bits about her affair, and mirella as a character I loved and related to a lot. hard to progress as I struggled more and more with valeria and her bitterness ! but fascinating and really testing in terms of my own views.
ezuccanigra's review against another edition
2.0
Niente di originale nei pensieri di questa donna italiana. Ho provato molta curiosità all’inizio è solo tanto fastidio da metà in poi.
marianacardinho's review against another edition
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
kellsig's review against another edition
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
cinnamonmarti's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
5.0
"Di fronte a queste pagine, ho paura: tutti i miei sentimenti, così sviscerati, marciscono, si fanno veleno, e ho la coscienza di diventare rea quanto più tento di essere giudice."
Un romanzo breve ma potentissimo. Questo libro ha il raro e prezioso dono di essere perfettamente rappresentativo del periodo storico in cui è ambientato, e al contempo moderno e applicabile al presente senza alcuno sforzo immaginativo. Si aggiunge immediatamente alla lista di letture che consiglierei a ogni donna intorno a me. Quaderno proibito è un'attenta e spietata autoanalisi, un monito delle gabbie fisiche e psicologiche che il sistema patriarcale continua a perpetrare, un diario segreto dei sentimenti più totalizzanti e feroci.
Non lo faccio quasi mai, ma d'istinto mi sono ritrovata a sottolineare a matita svariati passaggi, mentre ripercorrevo mentalmente simili conversazioni e litigi avvenuti fra mia madre, mio padre e me stessa. La scrittura di De Céspedes ha una qualità viscerale e trascinante che mi ha tenuta ipnotizzata tra le parole di Valeria. Madre, moglie, figlia, amante, impiegata, mai semplicemente libera di sentirsi viva e intera in quanto donna.
Un romanzo breve ma potentissimo. Questo libro ha il raro e prezioso dono di essere perfettamente rappresentativo del periodo storico in cui è ambientato, e al contempo moderno e applicabile al presente senza alcuno sforzo immaginativo. Si aggiunge immediatamente alla lista di letture che consiglierei a ogni donna intorno a me. Quaderno proibito è un'attenta e spietata autoanalisi, un monito delle gabbie fisiche e psicologiche che il sistema patriarcale continua a perpetrare, un diario segreto dei sentimenti più totalizzanti e feroci.
Non lo faccio quasi mai, ma d'istinto mi sono ritrovata a sottolineare a matita svariati passaggi, mentre ripercorrevo mentalmente simili conversazioni e litigi avvenuti fra mia madre, mio padre e me stessa. La scrittura di De Céspedes ha una qualità viscerale e trascinante che mi ha tenuta ipnotizzata tra le parole di Valeria. Madre, moglie, figlia, amante, impiegata, mai semplicemente libera di sentirsi viva e intera in quanto donna.