rustbeltjessie's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
sonia_reppe's review against another edition
4.0
Partly a mid-life memoir, partly a coming-of-age memoir, the best part about this was the wonderfully described Seattle in the 80s and 90s. (This is partly a love letter to Seattle of yore when most people had not heard of Seattle).
I expected mid-life sexual escapades but there weren't any until finally that one at the end. The opening three chapters urge "we're all going to die, get it while you can," but when her husband goes on an extensive work trip, she just lays in bed and eats pomegranates. There is a description of sex with her husband early on, but after that, it mainly turned into a memoir of her teen and college years (Oberlin), and a strange obsession with Roman Polanski, with hearty doses of self-pity and sadness about menopause.
Was Roman Polanski like a metaphor? Because with all this book's ruminations on female sexuality, how females need to be protected but also free to make their own sexual choices, in the end, menopause is the biggest f***er of all.
I expected mid-life sexual escapades but there weren't any until finally that one at the end. The opening three chapters urge "we're all going to die, get it while you can," but when her husband goes on an extensive work trip, she just lays in bed and eats pomegranates. There is a description of sex with her husband early on, but after that, it mainly turned into a memoir of her teen and college years (Oberlin), and a strange obsession with Roman Polanski, with hearty doses of self-pity and sadness about menopause.
Was Roman Polanski like a metaphor? Because with all this book's ruminations on female sexuality, how females need to be protected but also free to make their own sexual choices, in the end, menopause is the biggest f***er of all.
bi_n_large's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Rape, and Sexual assault
Moderate: Medical content and Misogyny
Minor: Pregnancy
lola425's review against another edition
4.0
While Dederer's experiences are unique to her, there is a universality to her expression of those experiences that will ring true to a lot of women:
* Do you want to be safe or be free? Can you be both?
* The transition from being a girl, being blissfully unaware of your body beyond its utility, to the moment you realize that your body is something to be looked upon and it affects the way you move in it, feel about it.
* Simultaneously wanting the male gaze, courting it even, and hating it at the same time.
* Reconciling your feminism, deeply felt, truly believed, with your desire to feel dominated, small, led.
* At midlife, still feeling yourself to be that 16 year old ingenue, your body betraying you once again simply by aging.
* Creating a marriage as you go along, loving your husband desperately, and resenting him a little bit too.
I could go in and on, but suffice it to say I recognized parts of myself in Dederer's story and am thankful to hear it vocalized.
* Do you want to be safe or be free? Can you be both?
* The transition from being a girl, being blissfully unaware of your body beyond its utility, to the moment you realize that your body is something to be looked upon and it affects the way you move in it, feel about it.
* Simultaneously wanting the male gaze, courting it even, and hating it at the same time.
* Reconciling your feminism, deeply felt, truly believed, with your desire to feel dominated, small, led.
* At midlife, still feeling yourself to be that 16 year old ingenue, your body betraying you once again simply by aging.
* Creating a marriage as you go along, loving your husband desperately, and resenting him a little bit too.
I could go in and on, but suffice it to say I recognized parts of myself in Dederer's story and am thankful to hear it vocalized.
mylifeincurls17's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault and Child abuse