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librarymouse's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
What an odd book. Paul is a strange, yet often lovely character. His hedonism was off putting at first, and I initially had a hard time reconciling my enjoyment of the writing with my dislike of Paul, but the further the novel progressed, the more sympathetic of a character Paul became. Paul's experience of gender and the way Lawlor represents that on the page is something unique and special. It shows the ways in which we try and fail and try again to externally represent our interior experiences of selfhood, but made magical in its visibility. Similarly, Paul's struggles to maintain expression of exclusively male or female features at different points throughout the novel, in order to fulfil the desires of someone else felt so real and exemplary of the struggle between external expression and internal experience when trying to find an aesthetic that feels comfortable as someone who doesn't feel that either gender fits quite right. I think I liked the consistent use of "he" as Paul's pronouns despite his spending a large portion of the novel as a girl. I think it's an interesting comment, again, on the way selfhood is experienced, but also for the idea that gender expression doesn't necessarily equate to gender identity/experience. However, I can understand the critiques of the use of "he" exclusively as falling into the pitfalls of gender essentialism. It's a very narrow line.
Paul being made a more sympathetic character for me, comes to fruition as he finally flashes back to when and why he chose to leave New York for the Midwest after the boy he loved and left; and to whom he always assumed he'd return to at some point, dies of HIV/AIDS before Paul works up the courage to call him back. The slips of memories of the friends and lovers there one day and gone the next, blurry around the edges with grief and the rapidity of their deaths offer an alternative lens through which to view Paul's escape and the risks he's willing to take, thinking he's found a safe place where illness can't take those he cares for. While it's never quite clear whether or not he can get HIV/AIDS, the risks he takes after his love's death take on a nihilistic tone, ready and willing to put himself in danger for the thrill of it. Behind the hedonism, there's such raw and tender humanity.
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Grief, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Biphobia, Body horror, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Dysphoria
kmartro's review against another edition
challenging
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Incredibly hard read for me, it is full of consistent specific music and book references that I, as someone who did not live through the 90's queer scene, did not get at all. I found myself skimming often when it got particularly dense.
I liked reading Paul but didn't like him. I thought the author might do something developmental with him realizing he's too agreeable but he ends the same way he starts.
Even though Paul is a shape-shifter and he moves through queer communities as both sexes, his inner monologue is still that of a gay man, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for the cis-lesbian experience specifically.
The smut was sharp and to the point, it doesn't stay long. Overall glad I read it, but I don't think I'll be rereading it.
I liked reading Paul but didn't like him. I thought the author might do something developmental with him realizing he's too agreeable but he ends the same way he starts.
Even though Paul is a shape-shifter and he moves through queer communities as both sexes, his inner monologue is still that of a gay man, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for the cis-lesbian experience specifically.
The smut was sharp and to the point, it doesn't stay long. Overall glad I read it, but I don't think I'll be rereading it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use and Sexual content
Moderate: Alcoholism and Dysphoria
Minor: Death, Vomit, Stalking, Outing, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic
sarah984's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This was an interesting portrait of a tumultuous time, but the pov character (and most of the other characters honestly) was almost unbearable to read about, and the ending felt like it kind of petered out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Alcoholism, Death, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Vomit, and Grief
Minor: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Child abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Medical content, Lesbophobia, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
artstitute's review against another edition
adventurous
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book was slow, quiet, and reflective, and I was happy to settle back and be along for the ride. Paul's kind of a dick, but I have a soft spot for him anyway.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Alcohol
Moderate: Death, Drug use, Terminal illness, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Homophobia, Vomit, and Stalking
The AIDS epidemic is referenced and discussed.
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