Reviews with content warning for Adult/minor relationship - The Lover

— i would give this a 4 but after thinking it over i couldnt bring myself to do that and settled on a 3.75 LOL.. this book gets a bit hard to follow along as it continues and i found myself grazing over long paragraphs after losing interest. i do enjoy the collection of memories and switches between povs as the narrator reflects on snippets of her childhood, watching the young girl from her adult eyes and the eyes of the reader.

her relationship with her adult lover is strange. i feel for her with her relationship with him and her mother, how it felt like she clinged onto him because of her upbringing and societal belief that she as a young girl was nothing but a sexual object. you question whether it was love or merely just desire needing to be met—many things the lover did made me feel ill. its reminiscent of a lolita type relationship, but told from the pov of dolores.

the racism and whiteness is something i as a poc had trouble coming to terms with, but nonetheless it was a quick book i couldn't put down.

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james1star's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I admit I did build this book in my mind and expectations as one I was going to love. It’s about a doomed love with the longing that comes with it in the form of French auto-fiction but ummm… what was this?!? Hugely disappointing and honestly a very unpleasant read.

The book follows our narrator (basically a younger Duras) as she begins a love affair with an older Chinese man during her time in French Indochina (Vietnam) and how this develops. This is one part of the story where the relationship with her mother and strangely abusive (why?) older brother takes up more of the ‘The Lover’ then the actual lover parts (okay…) and we essentially learn who she is and her place in the family dynamic. There’s sort of more to the story but I don’t care for it.

The book is messy, there’s inconsistent time jumps and quite a lot of what’s being said just doesn’t make much sense - I felt like I had to go over passages time again to pinpoint what’s going on. The Chinese man is sometimes called by the mc and others as ‘a’ or ‘the’ Chinese which yes I get the time but if he’s someone you once loved or at least cared for wouldn’t you make the tiny effort to address him properly? No? Okay then. He’s also written/portrayed as weak and slightly cowardly in the way he won’t stand up to his father which is yeah great Asian representation in your book! This is bad but what I thought was just nope ewww dis-gus-tang was how later in the book Duras becomes this ‘child’ character and as I quote ‘He takes her as he would his own child. He’s take his own child the same way.’ (p. 107 of the harper perennial ed) which is just vile, like I cannot comprehend how or why her mind went there?!? It’s depraved and to want this to happen just nopeeeee.

The saving grace and why this book isn’t a 1 star is the writing is nice, I mean it’s French so this is somewhat the standard now. It’s lyrical and flows but the actual content is confusing and very frustrating at times. I do also appreciate the way it portrays the French-Viennese relations and also the way women were viewed and expected to do things.

On the whole, very underwhelming and it’s put me off reading more by her for a long time. Would most definitely not recommend this book.

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