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Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'
Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut by Wendy T. Behary, Sherrie Campbell
2 reviews
xangemtheelibrarian's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
5.0
This book helped me process, but it was a huge process to get through. There are times where Campbell's experience does not mirror mine -- her situation seems so much worse -- but there were even more times where I saw my own family members in what she wrote.
At first, I hated this book. Because Campbell says near the beginning "You have permission." She validates you and at first, I did not want validation. As I often do when I feel guilt or shame over something, I want to punish myself and feel even worse because "I'm such a terrible person." I had to work through that before I could come back and finish the book.
Yeah, the things she says can be pretty drastic, but. I needed it. And I'm so grateful that this book has been published.
At first, I hated this book. Because Campbell says near the beginning "You have permission." She validates you and at first, I did not want validation. As I often do when I feel guilt or shame over something, I want to punish myself and feel even worse because "I'm such a terrible person." I had to work through that before I could come back and finish the book.
Yeah, the things she says can be pretty drastic, but. I needed it. And I'm so grateful that this book has been published.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
noellelovesbooks's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
4.5
Content Warnings: Discussion of emotional abuse, manipulation, verbal abuse, and death of loved ones.
This was an extremely powerful read for me. As someone who cut ties, almost ten years ago, with toxic family members I still experience a lot of guilt and thoughts of “maybe I should re-open those lines of communication”.
Luckily my husband is always there supporting me and asking me questions like “do you think allowing them back into your life would make your life better or worse?” “Would it relieve or add to your stress?” When I stop to think about it and realize that allowing those people back into my life would significantly add a lot of negativity…I realize that I did make the right choice and will continue to do so.
If you’ve never had a toxic family member around—especially a parent who helped shape you into the person you are—you may not realize how controlling and manipulative they are. I just turned 35 and as I look back on my childhood there are still things I’m realizing, about that toxic relationship, that I never saw before. Lies and manipulations that I believed wholeheartedly because what kind of parent lies to their child about important things.
This book discusses all the different steps one goes through when it comes to cutting toxic family members out of your life. It’s not as simple as just cutting off contact and everything becoming great…because these people have trained you to feel immense guilt when they aren’t getting their way. Even fully knowing that the likelihood of them having an “aha” moment—and realizing how horribly they treated me—is completely unrealistic…I still sadly hope for it.
An extremely powerful read that I will be looking back through—in my moments of doubt—to remind myself that I made the best choice for myself, my growing family, and my mental health.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse
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