Reviews with content warning for Death of parent - Der Liebhaber

I admit I did build this book in my mind and expectations as one I was going to love. It’s about a doomed love with the longing that comes with it in the form of French auto-fiction but ummm… what was this?!? Hugely disappointing and honestly a very unpleasant read.

The book follows our narrator (basically a younger Duras) as she begins a love affair with an older Chinese man during her time in French Indochina (Vietnam) and how this develops. This is one part of the story where the relationship with her mother and strangely abusive (why?) older brother takes up more of the ‘The Lover’ then the actual lover parts (okay…) and we essentially learn who she is and her place in the family dynamic. There’s sort of more to the story but I don’t care for it.

The book is messy, there’s inconsistent time jumps and quite a lot of what’s being said just doesn’t make much sense - I felt like I had to go over passages time again to pinpoint what’s going on. The Chinese man is sometimes called by the mc and others as ‘a’ or ‘the’ Chinese which yes I get the time but if he’s someone you once loved or at least cared for wouldn’t you make the tiny effort to address him properly? No? Okay then. He’s also written/portrayed as weak and slightly cowardly in the way he won’t stand up to his father which is yeah great Asian representation in your book! This is bad but what I thought was just nope ewww dis-gus-tang was how later in the book Duras becomes this ‘child’ character and as I quote ‘He takes her as he would his own child. He’s take his own child the same way.’ (p. 107 of the harper perennial ed) which is just vile, like I cannot comprehend how or why her mind went there?!? It’s depraved and to want this to happen just nopeeeee.

The saving grace and why this book isn’t a 1 star is the writing is nice, I mean it’s French so this is somewhat the standard now. It’s lyrical and flows but the actual content is confusing and very frustrating at times. I do also appreciate the way it portrays the French-Viennese relations and also the way women were viewed and expected to do things.

On the whole, very underwhelming and it’s put me off reading more by her for a long time. Would most definitely not recommend this book.

Content Warnings

empsea's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Content Warnings

annieogg's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

Content Warnings

kiana_hi's review against another edition

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challenging dark mysterious reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

good to know french women have mommy issues as well.

Content Warnings

theatomicblonde22's review against another edition

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challenging dark reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

raspberrymai's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

wheat_singularity_bezforshort's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? N/A
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I usually enjoy this kind of stream-of-consciousness narrative, but here it is nearly impossible to follow the narrative. That might be because the narrative is very slowly paced, and nothing much happens for large stretches of time. The book does provide some interesting commentary, but overall it was not a good experience.

For example, the main character's sexual relationship which is consensual, but would still be considered pedophilia, and the fact that the supporting characters react more to the relationship being interracial (rather than the age difference)

Content Warnings

ladymirtazapine's review against another edition

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challenging dark mysterious reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.75

Content Warnings

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