Reviews

When I think of Emily Giffin’s books, I think of characters who are east to connect to, love stories and happily ever afters, and not a ton of depth. But out of this novel, I got all of the above, except that last one. Set right around 9/11, this book made me consider my relationships and what romantic love looks like.

Cicely Gardner is living in NYC in 2001, but she’s not really sure if she wants to be. She dreamed of being a big-time reporter for a major newspaper in New York, and though she loves a lot about the city, she’s not sure it’s where she’s meant to be. Her job at a small paper feels dead-end. She’s just been through a breakup with her longtime boyfriend, Matthew, and she misses him.

That’s when Cicely meets Grant Smith at a bar, only she doesn’t learn his name until much later, after he’s stayed over in her bed. At first, their night together feels like it might be a one-off, but then Cicely and Grant find themselves falling hard for one another. Grant is getting ready to spend the summer in London with his twin brother. Not for fun, though. Byron had ALS and Grant has him registered for a clinical trial. Cicely and Grant agree not to start too much before he leaves, but they both seem to feel an intense connection.

Stop here for spoilers ***

Cicely visits Grant in London, bringing along her gay (but not fully out of the closet) best friend, Scottie. The friends visit all the sights while Grant is with his brother, but the couple do get to spend some time alone together. Cicely gets to meet Byron, who seems to be in a bad mood and makes some weird comments. Cicely eventually tells Grant not to worry about her until he’s back in New York, because he has a lot going on with his brother’s treatments. Unfortunately, the trial doesn’t work for Byron, and the twins do some traveling around Europe before going back to the states in September.

After landing in New York on September 10, Grant shows up, late at night, at Cicely’s apartment. He says he had to see her. They finally have sex for the first (and only, oops) time. The next morning, when Cicely wakes up, Grant is gone and through the fog of her cold, she watches the news of the World Trade Center. Cicely doesn’t know much about Grant’s work, other than that he did something with money, possibly on Wall Street, and she’s worried about him. But she gets caught up in the events, and her role as a reporter, and works with some of her coworkers on stories of survivors.

In Washington Square Park, covering a candlelight ceremony days after 9/11, Cicely sees a flyer with Grant’s photo and a phone number. Come to find out, Grant was married. Cicely eventually meets with Amy, and they forge a friendship, but Cicely doesn’t reveal her role in Amy’s life. Cicely grapples with this news. She can’t believe she was in love with a married man!

Soon after, Cicely and her ex, Matthew, get back together and have a whirlwind romance. They quickly get engaged, but Cicely had doubts. Although she believes Grant to be dead, she can’t quite get over him, and she wants answers. She’s also not sure about Matthew, although just that spring they broke up because she wanted to move forward and Matthew wasn’t ready. Cicely also discovers she’s pregnant - but of course, she’s not sure of the paternity.

Finally, Cicely reveals everything to Matthew, and he suggests they put their wedding (which they were rushing to have before the baby) on hold until they’re sure of paternity. Cicely also decides that she needs to speak with Byron, and she drives up to the twins’ cabin in the Adirondack’s. But instead of Byron, Cicely comes face to face with Grant. (I knew this was coming!) After 9/11, when everyone presumed he was dead, Grant just went along with it. He and Byron were already on their way to the cabin, where Byron wanted to die, and Grant was on the run from federal police after committing some sort of crime (later revealed that he used tips to make money on the stock market that he then used to pay for Byron’s trial). Cicely confronts Grant about Amy, and about his fake death, but leaves to go back to the city out anger.

She reveals everything to Matthew, and later to Amy, who already suspected that Cicely knew Grant, and that he had been having an affair. Their marriage was never very good, and they were moving toward divorce when 9/11 happened.

Cicely decides she wants to move home to the Midwest, at least temporarily. She wants to clear her head and be with her family while she awaits the baby’s birth and the paternity results. Grant eventually finds her there, and tells her about his financial crime. He says he and Amy are filing for divorce and he’s going to turn himself in, and whether or not he is the biological father to Cicely’s child, he wants to be there for them, and he wants to be with Cicely, no matter how long it takes for her to trust him again.

Years later, Alice is nearly five, and Grant is biologically her father. They have all been living in the Midwest, after Grant got out of prison after an 11-month stint. Cicely is working for a newspaper, writing actual news and enjoying it. Cicely and Grant have travelled to NYC for interviews, but it’s unclear if they want to move back. Grant gives Cicely a ring with a moonstone, while their at the bar where they first met, and tells her it’s for her left hand.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It made me look at my relationships, especially my romantic one, with a different eye. Not all romances that start off with lust and an instant connection stay that way, but it’s also important not to settle. Cicely wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to marry Matthew, and needed convincing. She probably would have married him if she hadn’t reconnected with Grant. And while their relationship wasn’t bad, it wasn’t the right one. Cicely had to learn to be herself first, and then to find someone who loved her unconditionally.