panda_incognito's review
4.0
This is a short, concisely written book about adoption from a Christian perspective. I was a little bit concerned about it going into it, since I'm always leery of people sharing details about their children that they can't take back, but the author allayed my concerns at the beginning by explaining that his adopted son, who was seventeen at the time of writing, had agreed to this project.
The author explains a biblical theology of adoption, shares honest personal stories about his own struggles and failures as a father, and shows how challenging it can be for families to deal with the ongoing implications of trauma in an adopted child's life. The church and society at large tend to treat adoption stories as fairy tales that end happily once a child has a family, and because this leaves adoptive parents deeply unprepared for the potential complications to come, this author speaks into that gap, sharing about some of the parenting issues that he and his wife have had.
This book is a helpful reality check for people who tend to romanticize adoption. The author doesn't treat it as a fairy tale, and even though he is very serious about adoption serving as a picture of the gospel, he broadens his view to the many implications of living in a broken world. I especially appreciate his emphasis on how children who have been adopted will always deal with some form of trauma, no matter how mild it is, simply because children were meant to be raised by their biological parents, and severing a nine-month connection with a birth mother is always a form of trauma, no matter how well-managed, healthy, and positive the adoption situation is overall.
I know so many people who have adopted that I lost count when I was in grade school, and those real-life stories have been all over the map, from being as near-perfect as adoption can be, to full Reactive Attachment Disorder and extensive family trauma. I personally felt that this book acknowledged and made space for all of those experiences, and even though it is very brief and cannot cover everything, it's a solid introduction to the topic.
This book has a very in-depth Christian focus, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to someone who doesn't share the author's faith, but I would definitely encourage Christians to read this, whether they have adopted, are considering adoption, or simply want to better understand, love, and support other people in their lives.
The author explains a biblical theology of adoption, shares honest personal stories about his own struggles and failures as a father, and shows how challenging it can be for families to deal with the ongoing implications of trauma in an adopted child's life. The church and society at large tend to treat adoption stories as fairy tales that end happily once a child has a family, and because this leaves adoptive parents deeply unprepared for the potential complications to come, this author speaks into that gap, sharing about some of the parenting issues that he and his wife have had.
This book is a helpful reality check for people who tend to romanticize adoption. The author doesn't treat it as a fairy tale, and even though he is very serious about adoption serving as a picture of the gospel, he broadens his view to the many implications of living in a broken world. I especially appreciate his emphasis on how children who have been adopted will always deal with some form of trauma, no matter how mild it is, simply because children were meant to be raised by their biological parents, and severing a nine-month connection with a birth mother is always a form of trauma, no matter how well-managed, healthy, and positive the adoption situation is overall.
I know so many people who have adopted that I lost count when I was in grade school, and those real-life stories have been all over the map, from being as near-perfect as adoption can be, to full Reactive Attachment Disorder and extensive family trauma. I personally felt that this book acknowledged and made space for all of those experiences, and even though it is very brief and cannot cover everything, it's a solid introduction to the topic.
This book has a very in-depth Christian focus, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to someone who doesn't share the author's faith, but I would definitely encourage Christians to read this, whether they have adopted, are considering adoption, or simply want to better understand, love, and support other people in their lives.
More...