Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'
Call Me by Your Name: Ruf mich bei deinem Namen by André Aciman
10 reviews
tadiwa_e's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I cannot really express the experience I went through reading this book. Almost DNFed it 3 times… I am still processing. But I will say. What a beautifully written piece. I would not call it a romance but maybe a recollection of Elios memories. It was intimate and sometimes really intense.
However I cannot get behind the age gap and power dynamics in the relationship. No matter how much Aciman tries to present it as something to be praised. For that I cannot give a higher rating. Some parts of this book also were disgusting… sorry… there’s no way THAT scene is going to be skipped past like it never happened.
Overall I loved a lot of quotes in this book and it was thought provoking especially Elios Fathers speech at the end.
However I cannot get behind the age gap and power dynamics in the relationship. No matter how much Aciman tries to present it as something to be praised. For that I cannot give a higher rating. Some parts of this book also were disgusting… sorry… there’s no way THAT scene is going to be skipped past like it never happened.
Overall I loved a lot of quotes in this book and it was thought provoking especially Elios Fathers speech at the end.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Misogyny
Minor: Child death, Cancer, and Death of parent
alice_hesse's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Stalking, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Vomit, Sexual assault, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Death of parent
theuncannydani's review against another edition
dark
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Contains pedophilia, grooming, transphobia, homophobia and racism.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, Homophobia, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Sexism, Alcohol, Child death, Death, Gaslighting, and Misogyny
Minor: Antisemitism and Addiction
sadie_bg's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
What annoyed me the most about this book is that at times Andre Aciman was so comfortabl writing about explicit and VILE scenes however when it came to the word sex he always referred to it as " love making " ???? Just say it as it is.
I gave 2.5 stars mainly for the poetic / lyrical writing aswell as aesthetic but that's all.
There are so many better books out there with LGBTQ+ romance and characters that dont romantacise grooming and pedophilia.
I gave 2.5 stars mainly for the poetic / lyrical writing aswell as aesthetic but that's all.
There are so many better books out there with LGBTQ+ romance and characters that dont romantacise grooming and pedophilia.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia and Sexual content
Moderate: Toxic relationship and Emotional abuse
kaadee's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
After reading other peoples reviews, I have come to a conclusion. I think it’s important that this book was made because it gives a glimpse into the the thought process of the groomed. We as readers know that it’s gross, uncomfortable and upsetting and while Elio also realizes this, his feelings are much different. Through Elio’s thoughts, we are also being groomed by Oliver to care for their relationship (see other peoples reviews calling this an amazing love story) it’s a good story, but not one about love. It’s about obsession, it’s about craving an experience but ultimately it’s about the power imbalances teenagers have with adults. How teenagers are easily taken advantage of and made to think they are in love. I honestly don’t think the writer wrote it to have this kind of meaning whatsoever which makes it worse for me. The deep dive into Elio’s sexual thoughts was disturbing. I mean, I really didn’t need to know what a 17 year old was thinking while he was going at it into a peach. I think it’s important to understand his thoughts but the amount of detail into the desires was gross. Also the writing style??? What pretentious person decided they would just add every word from the dictionary, put it into run on sentences, and then publish it? Some quotes were good but it’s too much philosophy without actually making any sense. People who praise this book for the writing and the feeling that you get while reading are weird. Honestly, the writing just made me want to finish it 10x faster just so I could be done. I love the movie compared to this. Also the fetish for Jewish people, GROSS!!! The author isn’t even Jewish which I didn’t know while reading. I was weirded out but I just went along with it because maybe he was just being expressive of his faith/background BUT NO, he just fetishized Jewish people.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Stalking, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Antisemitism, Death, Death of parent, and Transphobia
eadaoin_'s review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Excrement, Emotional abuse, Death of parent, and Child death
gabrielleclarke05's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
relaxing
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.25
Wow.. this was gross in multiple parts. Elio compared the peach to a SA victim🧐 I’m glad the film cut out the problematic bits. This book just felt like the author writing down his weird fetishes
The movie overall is better and this book just felt creepy and the author is a self proclaimed pedophile so take that as you will
The movie overall is better and this book just felt creepy and the author is a self proclaimed pedophile so take that as you will
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Stalking, Toxic relationship, Biphobia, Abandonment, Alcohol, Excrement, Gaslighting, Grief, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, Sexism, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Body shaming, and Sexual assault
reasalic's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Sexual content
riella_reads's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
relaxing
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
I was bored honestly and super close to dnfing, but this was written beautifully so I'll give it that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting
grayisasleep's review against another edition
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
4.25
i was around 14-15 when i first read this book and i wanted to reread it now, when i’m 18 to see how my opinion has changed. i plan to do this again in my 20s. when i first read it i rated it a 5/5 easily. i thought it was the most beautiful, emotional, raw piece of writing on intimacy ever written. but i was 15.
looking back on this story now i have many mixed feelings. my love for this book was so strong that it has deepened how i feel about it now. i want to resent this book— and i do, i just wish i did more. this is not a love story. it is a story of grooming, and it is difficult to see that because we are in elio’s mind. i was so deeply infatuated with this book at 15, and while rereading it i felt those feelings come back. the giddiness, the “beauty” of this book— of this “relationship.” reading this at 15 has my warped perception on it just as elio’s perception of oliver was warped. i hope by my next reread in my 20s i’m over it.
i’m not going to write a whole essay on this book because hundreds of people already have but there’s just so many problems with it. the author adds in incredibly gross scenes because he thinks he can just excuse it as “complete and total intimacy.” like no dude it’s just straight up gross.
the writing is what really saved this for me the second time around though. it really is the most beautifully written book i’ve read in my life (thus far that is.) i need so many quotes from this book engraved into me.
but yeah, in conclusion; pretty writing but oliver is a disgusting, manipulative person and i wish more people saw this book for what it really was.
looking back on this story now i have many mixed feelings. my love for this book was so strong that it has deepened how i feel about it now. i want to resent this book— and i do, i just wish i did more. this is not a love story. it is a story of grooming, and it is difficult to see that because we are in elio’s mind. i was so deeply infatuated with this book at 15, and while rereading it i felt those feelings come back. the giddiness, the “beauty” of this book— of this “relationship.” reading this at 15 has my warped perception on it just as elio’s perception of oliver was warped. i hope by my next reread in my 20s i’m over it.
i’m not going to write a whole essay on this book because hundreds of people already have but there’s just so many problems with it. the author adds in incredibly gross scenes because he thinks he can just excuse it as “complete and total intimacy.” like no dude it’s just straight up gross.
the writing is what really saved this for me the second time around though. it really is the most beautifully written book i’ve read in my life (thus far that is.) i need so many quotes from this book engraved into me.
but yeah, in conclusion; pretty writing but oliver is a disgusting, manipulative person and i wish more people saw this book for what it really was.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Homophobia, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Antisemitism
Minor: Child death, Death, and Death of parent
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