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maxenporter's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting
annapox's review
3.5
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Cursing
Minor: Ableism
laura_sotillos's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, and Violence
ezulc's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
jokehelldo's review
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Moderate: Child abuse, Incest, Rape, Sexual violence, and Gaslighting
Minor: Alcoholism
tacita's review against another edition
4.75
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexism, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Violence, Stalking, and Pregnancy
Minor: Incest
random19379's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Rape, Sexism, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Ableism
xwritingstoriesx's review against another edition
3.75
I have to start this review by acknowledging that the author is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. I hadn't known this prior to purchasing and reading his work but I'm not happy with this information whatsoever. You cannot call yourself a feminist without intersectionality.
Onto the book itself, I found myself growing frustrated by the consistent message about male abuse and the denial of such happenings. If you are a male abuse victim, you will not feel seen or heard in this book, but rather you will find judgement, scorn and ridicule. In Chapter four, Bancroft writes, "Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been a victim of physical violence by a previous female partner."
While I do understand that this has happened enough for it to be mentioned here, I don't think discrediting all claims against a female partner is the right path forward. In Chapter 2, he also writes about the embarrassment a man must feel from being abused by a woman. Obviously, this is a really dangerous sentiment. I wanted to give this man the benefit of the doubt as it was written twenty years ago but with the revelation of transphobia, I can't see him changing.
Moreover, I found that the book was a bit too long in my opinion and could have forgone the recap sections. I would've been fine with a 200 page book rather than 400 pages of anecdotal evidence mixed in with facts and off-putting opinions.
With regards to the positive aspects of this book, I did see myself in the examples given and greatly appreciated that they mentioned the court system and its prejudice towards abuse victims. The examples of real life experiences were really insightful and allowed you to draw comparison to your own experiences. Despite all this, I have to rate the book a 3.75 stars, as it didn't quite hit the mark for me.
Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting
crybabybea's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Addiction and Sexual assault
stguac's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual violence, Torture, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Police brutality, Grief, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment