sde's review against another edition
4.0
This was a fascinating book about adoption, but an aspect of it I knew nothing about - that in very recent years evangelical Christians have massively embraced adoption as part of their mission. Churches are encouraging members to adopt, but the adopting parents (and probably the pastors themselves) are not aware of the difficult ethical issues around adoption. Many of the "orphans" have family members, sometimes even parents, alive. Often the issue is poverty and/or difficulty reuniting children with family in war-torn areas. I do know of several Christian groups that have begun debating some of the questions around adoption, but I did not know how strong the other side is. Adoption sounds like a good, and my guess is that most people trying to adopt are only intending to improve the situation for these children. (I assume that the one family that used their adopted children basically like servants are the exception to the rule.)
Every family considering adoption, whether Christian or not, should read this book. The more we all know about the issues, the better we will be able to monitor adoptions so that only those children who truly need a home will be adopted.
I would have liked more discussion on WHY adoption has become so important and rose so quickly in certain churches. Even after reading the book, I didn't get a sense of this. Obviously, money has a hand in this, but I don't believe that is the major reason. I also would have liked more exploration of how the adoptive families cope with the information that their adoptions may not have been on the up-and-up now that there is little they can do to reverse it. I know many families that have adopted from pretty much every country that was outlined in the book. Most felt they did due diligence at the time and some even met the biological families at the time of adoption, but, according to this book, there still might have been misunderstandings about the process with the bio families. How do adoptive parents deal with this emotionally while still being the parents their children now need? How do they work for improving the adoption process without their children feeling as though their adoption was a mistake.
Every family considering adoption, whether Christian or not, should read this book. The more we all know about the issues, the better we will be able to monitor adoptions so that only those children who truly need a home will be adopted.
I would have liked more discussion on WHY adoption has become so important and rose so quickly in certain churches. Even after reading the book, I didn't get a sense of this. Obviously, money has a hand in this, but I don't believe that is the major reason. I also would have liked more exploration of how the adoptive families cope with the information that their adoptions may not have been on the up-and-up now that there is little they can do to reverse it. I know many families that have adopted from pretty much every country that was outlined in the book. Most felt they did due diligence at the time and some even met the biological families at the time of adoption, but, according to this book, there still might have been misunderstandings about the process with the bio families. How do adoptive parents deal with this emotionally while still being the parents their children now need? How do they work for improving the adoption process without their children feeling as though their adoption was a mistake.
hekate24's review against another edition
5.0
Popsugar 2022 challenge: A book with a misleading title
In the introduction, the author says she’s deliberately chose a title that could be interpreted a bunch of different ways based on your perspective. For me the title conjures up an image of people “catching” adoptive children as though they grew on trees and have no prior history of their own… Which is inherently misleading. And based on the policies pushed by evangelicals in this book, I think that’s how some people do think of adoptees as a tabula rasa.
I feel like every year for a while now I’ve been reading a book about how evangelicals get caught up in politics and culture wars, if only to better understand How We Got Here. This is somehow even more infuriating than the excellent [b:Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation|53121662|Jesus and John Wayne How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation|Kristin Kobes Du Mez|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1611376522l/53121662._SY75_.jpg|73351359]. I think it’s important to understand that - contrary to bad reviews I’ve seen of this book - this author is not against adoption at all. Yes, she talks about a lot of worst case scenarios. This is because this book’s thesis is about how American evangelicals have really inflated perceptions of how many adoptable babies there are out there and have proceeded to manipulate and extort birth parents in America and abroad to meet that demand. Furthermore, there’s an evangelical emphasis on how adoption supposedly mirrors being saved by God. This ends up instilling a pretty much literal god complex in adoptive parents who go into the adoption with that ideology front of mind. When you throw all these factors together it often makes for damaging and heartbreaking situations. This book is highlighting this particular aspect.
It also explores cultural factors that lead to birth parents reluctantly giving up their children in some cases and how those factors can be changed. There are several case examples of birth parents in America and South Korea giving up their children because the social stigma against them and the child would have been too much to bear. These women were often groomed and treated as heroes by the adoption agencies but would be scolded for having spread their legs if they ever made noise about wanting to keep and parent their child. Therefore, oftentimes the same entities pushing adoption as an act of salvation are responsible for the same social pressures that have made mothers decide to give up their children in the first place. Which means for all the noise made about adopting every orphan out there, there would be fewer abandoned children if society simply made it easier for all families to parent in peace … even if those families are (gasp) not a heterosexual nuclear family (or, hell, even if there was more of a safety net for hetero nuclear families in times of struggle.
I definitely found this book very compelling and interesting. It introduced me to a lot of complexities that I’d never even considered before. Again, I don’t think this book hates adoption. I think it simply encourages the reader to respect the agency of people like adopters and birth parents and to reconsider the hold that white savior narratives tend to have on the American psyche. I think that’s a good thing, especially when it’s backed up with a lot of data and context like this book is.
In the introduction, the author says she’s deliberately chose a title that could be interpreted a bunch of different ways based on your perspective. For me the title conjures up an image of people “catching” adoptive children as though they grew on trees and have no prior history of their own… Which is inherently misleading. And based on the policies pushed by evangelicals in this book, I think that’s how some people do think of adoptees as a tabula rasa.
I feel like every year for a while now I’ve been reading a book about how evangelicals get caught up in politics and culture wars, if only to better understand How We Got Here. This is somehow even more infuriating than the excellent [b:Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation|53121662|Jesus and John Wayne How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation|Kristin Kobes Du Mez|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1611376522l/53121662._SY75_.jpg|73351359]. I think it’s important to understand that - contrary to bad reviews I’ve seen of this book - this author is not against adoption at all. Yes, she talks about a lot of worst case scenarios. This is because this book’s thesis is about how American evangelicals have really inflated perceptions of how many adoptable babies there are out there and have proceeded to manipulate and extort birth parents in America and abroad to meet that demand. Furthermore, there’s an evangelical emphasis on how adoption supposedly mirrors being saved by God. This ends up instilling a pretty much literal god complex in adoptive parents who go into the adoption with that ideology front of mind. When you throw all these factors together it often makes for damaging and heartbreaking situations. This book is highlighting this particular aspect.
It also explores cultural factors that lead to birth parents reluctantly giving up their children in some cases and how those factors can be changed. There are several case examples of birth parents in America and South Korea giving up their children because the social stigma against them and the child would have been too much to bear. These women were often groomed and treated as heroes by the adoption agencies but would be scolded for having spread their legs if they ever made noise about wanting to keep and parent their child. Therefore, oftentimes the same entities pushing adoption as an act of salvation are responsible for the same social pressures that have made mothers decide to give up their children in the first place. Which means for all the noise made about adopting every orphan out there, there would be fewer abandoned children if society simply made it easier for all families to parent in peace … even if those families are (gasp) not a heterosexual nuclear family (or, hell, even if there was more of a safety net for hetero nuclear families in times of struggle.
I definitely found this book very compelling and interesting. It introduced me to a lot of complexities that I’d never even considered before. Again, I don’t think this book hates adoption. I think it simply encourages the reader to respect the agency of people like adopters and birth parents and to reconsider the hold that white savior narratives tend to have on the American psyche. I think that’s a good thing, especially when it’s backed up with a lot of data and context like this book is.
bethebookworm's review against another edition
3.0
Probably a good book to read if you are considering adoption. DNF because (a) I'm not considering adoption (b) I think I got the main point in the first half (i.e. adoption is often a market and a demand creates a supply) (c) absolutely no quotes or even stories from the adoptee's perspective. I skimmed the second half and it seemed the trend continues throughout the book.
rkuschmider's review against another edition
4.0
Make no mistake, this book opens view of adoption that hasn't been widely seen. It demonstrates that adoption, far from being an unqualified good, can be a profoundly misguided act. I say CAN be, no is. There are good adoptions the world over. But there is also a thread of adoption motivations that come from the notion that the only fit parents are western Christians and there is an industry catering to the mindset that leaves bio-families marginalized. It's troubling. This book focuses on international adoption primarily but the chapter on how crisis pregnancy centers in the US operate and the history of women being coerced to give up their babies is eye-opening. A good read, though with a definite bias. It will satisfy liberals and infuriate conservative.