Reviews with content warning for Pedophilia - Guilty Pleasures

I’m soooo disappointed in this book. It’s not that I had any expectations, I was very much intrigued by the concept and the first few chapters really reeled me in. But it just got soooo bad from there. The sarcasm was great. But so much of the dialogue was cringey. I thought I’d run into some issues that were overlooked in 1993 but wouldn’t hold up in the light of day in 2022, and I was right as there were a few fatphobic and homophobic comments made. There’s also one unfortunate comment about a “spook squad” in reference to the police tasked with supernatural crimes. But those aren’t the real reasons why I was disappointed with this book, if anything, they got like a few points shaved off for it. It’s just that this book isn’t good.

The book follows Anita Blake who’s an animator, which is someone who can raise the dead (make zombies). Zombies can talk and then be put back to rest. Anita works for a company of animators that get paid to bring back loved ones and victims of crimes. She consults with the police about supernatural crimes. She’s also a vampire bounty hunter called The Executioner. Other than going to crime scenes to tell the police what kind of supernatural creature seems to have been the culprit (something I feel a coroner would be able to do at this point), I can’t fathom why she consults with the police. I’m assuming she can raise the dead to get answers from murder victims, but they say that’s hard to hold up in court. And it’s not explicitly said she does this for the police.

Anita is strong armed into working for vampires to track down a vampire murderer. Anita hates vampires and sees them as dangerous animals that have manipulated society as seeing them as just humans with pointy teeth. Along the way we meet Jean-Claude (a vampire master), Edward (a human assassin), and Nikolaos (a thousand year old child vampire master). Among other people who aren’t really important but just kind of there.

The first book in a fantasy series often gets the rep of being a little bit boring as it’s trying to explain the world building, magical system, and introducing the main characters. This book did none of that. Other then a quick: oh vampires are real and there’s a court ruling that made them citizens, there’s no explanation for any of the other magical beings (lycanthropes, ghouls, zombies, and animators). How is Anita an animator if she’s a human? Does she have magic? Can anyone be an animator? Also it’s said that Anita’s eyes glowed and that if anyone found out what she was then she’d be killed, but it’s never revealed what she is and it’s never hinted at ever again. This happens at like the 20% mark. Then Jean-Claude is introduced for five seconds, creates a psychic bond with Anita (without her permission or full knowledge of what it is) then is gone for the rest of the book. And this bond is so random and sporadically hinted at, it doesn’t even seem like it’s a real thing. Supposedly she’s stronger and can heal faster, but none of that is depicted. She’s still a very weak, feeble human.

After the first couple of chapters, I started to feel like there was just chunks of information that was scooped out. Nothing made sense and there was no time to get to know any of the characters, including Anita, to really care about them, and really, I didn’t like any of them. Like even Phillip, who’s probably the only character you can sympathize with, was unlikeable. He was whiny and extremely immature and useless. I like a morally grey or even villainous main character, but Anita was just irritating. For some badass vampire hunter, she makes incredibly dumb decisions. Scenes seemed like they were cut out and then you’d be jumping into a completely different event and not know what was going on. Anita’s investigation method is all over the place. Like what was the purpose of the freak party? Also, if these are human vampire junkies, why are humans biting them? That’s not explained AT ALL. What even is Guilty Pleasures? A strip club? Because it doesn’t seem like it.

There was also zero consent in this book. It was very moleste-y and pretty much sexual assault happened every few chapter in this book. A wererat (already want to throw up at that) tries to rape Anita in his rat form? Also, there was a naked child and some borderline erotic shit was happening with her. I don’t care that she’s a thousand years old, she has the body of an 8 year old and it’s disturbing as hell. Every vampire in this book has either assaulted, murdered, or taken the free will of someone, and this is all above board with the justice system? Yet, humans need a warrant to act against them?

How is Anita a hunter of vampires if she’s like 5’0” tall and just over a hundred pounds? And she says she can only lift a hundred pounds. She can’t take out an average human man, but we’re expected to believe that an ordinary human, who’s explicitly described as not having any real talent for hand-to-hand combat or using weapons, has killed 14 vampires? I was all for a short, slightly curvy vampire hunting (possibly Latinx?) badass that strikes fear into the hearts of the undead, but it seems she’s just extremely lucky. Or she’s only killed very recently made vampires (the older the vampire, the stronger they are) or she must kill them when they’re in a coma-like sleep during the day (a fact that isn’t explicitly made until the very end).

It wasn’t just the magical system or events that weren’t explained, but also random characters. Who is Ronnie? I thought she was Anita’s stepmother, but now I’m not sure. It’s stated in the very beginning, that crosses and holy water don’t work if there’s not so kind of faith backing up the intent (like an atheist would have no protection behind a cross), but then it doesn’t mention faith or religion until 75% of the way through when Anita has to go to church and is this devout Catholic (but forced to convert since animators were excommunicated by the Pope)? I know there’s a lot of things that are left unexplained, because it’s setting up stuff for the next book, like how Anita can “feel” a vampires age (why is this such a big deal to the vamps?) and what the psychic bond means for Anita and Jean-Claude. However, when it’s added on top of a million other things that should have been explained in the first book, it seems as though this is all just very lazy writing.

It really is a shame, because it is a very interesting concept. And I like that it’s an urban horror fantasy with mystery elements and no romance (I understand it becomes romance and erotica later, but not the point). It just feels like I read the pitch of what could’ve been a great book but they left out all the important things and proper transitions.

Content Warnings

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3.0

Content Warnings: Violence, blood/gore, gun violence, murder, torture, body horror, animal death, animal cruelty, emotional-physical-mental abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment, fatphobia, addiction, fire, and grief.
Mention of: child abuse, pedophilia, death, death of a parent, and death of a child.

I first started reading the Anita Blake series the summer I turned 14 *whispers* in 2001. Not realizing it was part of a series I picked up Narcissus in Chains, which is book 10, and read it. Now if you’ve read the series…you know that that was a lot for my 14-year-old brain to take it but I was instantly intrigued and needed to know more…so realizing it was a series I went back and devoured the first 9 books.

I’ve read, and re-read, most of the books in this series a few times. I made it to the book Serpentine before I kind of forgot about the series so I decided it was time for a re-read.

Having not read this book in years it was interesting diving back in, to a world I know so well, and looking at it as an adult and through a different lens than I had years ago. With that said…in some ways I found this book to be better than I remember and in others, I was left feeling somewhat disappointed.

The story itself was just as great as I remember, our introduction to Anita and quite a few key players [though you don’t realize that until the series progresses] is really interesting. We get to learn some of the lore, and different categories of city residents through Anita…that being said we’re forced to look through the eyes of someone young and deeply prejudiced.

Having not fully read this book in years I forgot how narrow-minded and prejudiced Anita is in the beginning. From fat shaming [literally describing another woman’s thighs as two beached whales…like WTF] to sex shaming, and even the feeling that, though never stated out loud, it’s like Anita subconsciously feels better than pretty much everyone she knows. Maybe other people don’t get that feeling…but for me the way she describes others I just felt like there were a lot of comparisons where Anita always lands on top.

Granted having read a majority of the series I know that her thoughts and ideas change as she grows in age, maturity, and experience. I just worry for people who’ve never read the series and try to jump in at the beginning…that they might get put off by Anita’s close-minded 24-year-old self. So if you’re new to the series just know that she does evolve and mature. I actually plan to re-read the entire series so I can see when her perceptions start to shift and evolve.

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